Sociopath Community

Turncoat said: 

Major Major Major said: 

Turncoat said: 

Just narrate symptoms as they're happening in a naked way. 

You think?

The more you don't feel comfortable with it, the more it stands to be tested. 

These people will eat it up, and then you'll see if reality or yourself is the harsher critic and can go from there. You will from that gain what might not be the truth, but a melting pot of perceived truths, all which offer you a perspective on the words you've said within their own flavors of bias that can tell you that much more about yourself. 

This place can be a series of judgmental eyes, but that still offers you a set of eyes that aren't your own. This place also has reason to be more honest than otherwise when it comes to why they felt the need to say what they've said to you. If who you are is inauthentic though, all you'll see is how they feel about that inauthenticity. 

What they say isn't the answer, but it's clues and context towards the answers you're otherwise looking for. Figure out who they are and you'll have a mirror towards yourself. 

 Shut up you feminazi cum closet.

Major Major Major said: 

It's really difficult to convey your emotions and thoughts to people.

Honestly, despite trying my best to be myself with you all.. I somehow end up putting the mask on anyway. Funny how that happens. I just want to be me. For once. I don't know how to convey that to you guys, or to anyone for that matter. Verbal and text-based communication are pretty limited, aren't they?

I could answer user's questions and explain what is important to me in life. But that doesn't really define me as a person, does it? And I guess it doesn't define you, either. I'd just end up being viewed as an intriguing book-writer, a stupid image I'd reinforce, because why not.

I guess I just want to get to know you guys better, behind the mask.

Honestly I haven't really struggled in life much, like probably you guys have. I can't say I had a very interesting upbringing. I grew up in a semi-rich family, hanging out with the kids in the poor neighborhoods. I didn't really need to work to get to where I am now. I didn't need to struggle in school and I didn't have any family issues.

I am actually quite normal. Just a normal person.

Honestly this is stupid.. why am I performing like this to you guys like a fucking clown. I really meant every word I said, but here I am posting this shit without even deleting it. It's pretty pathetic, isn't it? It's just that I can't help myself. I just have to put on a mask... It's a habit. Like an addiction. Or maybe I just like to deflect my inadequacies with humor.

Not much chance to transform this back to a normal topic now, is there....? I really don't feel like deleting that thing... It's so funny. I really laugh at my own jokes all the time. It'd be a waste of some good laugh... Or maybe I just really want attention because I'm lonely. Well, whatever it is, I'd still like to get to know you guys a bit better.

But really it's pretty difficult to get to know anyone these days isn't it?

Same tbh. Which would you  rather do: give up and become your mask, or keep peering into yourself?

I can't answer my own question with anything other than a set of likes and dislikes tho.

user22212 said: 

Same tbh. Which would you  rather do: give up and become your mask, or keep peering into yourself?

I can't answer my own question with anything other than a set of likes and dislikes tho.

I really am just chasing a memory of that perfect meal where we were sitting near a lake.... watching sunset. There was really nothing there, just me, my sister, my brother, my father, and my mother. My now dead dog.... And the kebab, which I secretly gave to my dog in the end. And we were so content and life was just so beautiful.. So serene.

It's moment like these... I mean, life is a merciless place and I'll kill anything that gets in my way. It's a really cold place. But.. There are moments of genuine warmth and hope, when you feel like.... You can just take it... And there's nothing wrong with things, you just look towards the horizon, with a kebab in your hand, and say....

I don't really know. Honestly, I remember the first time that my mommy bought me that kebab filled with mustard... Ever since that day, I've had this... urge.... I don't know what..

And I can't satisfy my hunger, ever.

It's like someone wants to to get your food... That's how I feel about that nostalgic kebab.. It was just too good. You know, I keep thinking that it's not really the kebab that made the whole thing so... perfect.. It was the mustard.

Speaking of .... Eh, whatever, where was I going with this... I am quite serious about all of this. There are some small genuine moments of beauty... And I just want those moments to last.. Why can't they? It's one pill of ecstacy and you go to heaven, suddenly everyone accepts you for who you are and all that BS yeah right, I only find it slightly more peaceful but I feel like I'm surrounded by fucking ogres.

I mean fucking really? If I talk openly, uncensored, I will end up in fucking jail. The other day I was talking to one of my fans and I was telling her a story about how I fucking despise homeless people, all those beautiful uncensored pure feelings that I have. You see, I'm an empty bottle. Those advices work on people that are filled, honest, bubbly, and naive.... My greatest quality.... Is that I'm creative. I'm not particularly smart, and although I'm as hot as plasma, this is not a quality I'm particularly proud of or feel I deserve. I didn't work hard to be good-looking.

Besides, it's not that... You can't be open. It's that it renders you vulnerable, so you learn not to be yourself.. It's all learned behavior. And that's why this delicious meal of mine is locked in my childhood. I just want to have a taste of it, and I need a new outlet for my meals. I want to chase it, eat it, and smash things hulk style.

I... don't know how to answer you question, user. I don't even know who I am anymore... I could be.. I just don't know anymore. But it's interesting you feel something similar although we are probably talking at cross-purposes.. You see green, I see yellow.