It's really difficult to convey your emotions and thoughts to people.
Honestly, despite trying my best to be myself with you all.. I somehow end up putting the mask on anyway. Funny how that happens. I just want to be me. For once. I don't know how to convey that to you guys, or to anyone for that matter. Verbal and text-based communication are pretty limited, aren't they?
I could answer user's questions and explain what is important to me in life. But that doesn't really define me as a person, does it? And I guess it doesn't define you, either. I'd just end up being viewed as an intriguing book-writer, a stupid image I'd reinforce, because why not.
I guess I just want to get to know you guys better, behind the mask.
Honestly I haven't really struggled in life much, like probably you guys have. I can't say I had a very interesting upbringing. I grew up in a semi-rich family, hanging out with the kids in the poor neighborhoods. I didn't really need to work to get to where I am now. I didn't need to struggle in school and I didn't have any family issues.
I am actually quite normal. Just a normal person.
Honestly this is stupid.. why am I performing like this to you guys like a fucking clown. I really meant every word I said, but here I am posting this shit without even deleting it. It's pretty pathetic, isn't it? It's just that I can't help myself. I just have to put on a mask... It's a habit. Like an addiction. Or maybe I just like to deflect my inadequacies with humor.
Not much chance to transform this back to a normal topic now, is there....? I really don't feel like deleting that thing... It's so funny. I really laugh at my own jokes all the time. It'd be a waste of some good laugh... Or maybe I just really want attention because I'm lonely. Well, whatever it is, I'd still like to get to know you guys a bit better.
But really it's pretty difficult to get to know anyone these days isn't it?