its not an MRI
and no but my brain seems to be trying to turn me into a non-functioning vegetable for no good reason at all, its attacking me and self destructing me more and more rapidly and idk why
i have some sort of mental illness that is attacking me but its more internal confusion resulting in accidents that are destroying me and sucking out my energy and motivation and ability to enjoy all the pleasurable things that make life worth living-based rather than external like self-mutiliation and suicide attempting
its like internal bpd that i try to keep supressed instead of the normal extroverted form of bpd where like you cut yourself and do a lot of risky behaviors but my version is like turned inwards idk its really really weird and scaring the fuck out of me because im not in control of it, its controlling me
Ok if not MRI then CT—but the MRI is the more sensitive test
Are you signed up for a clinical trial (you say “giving them data about your illness”) ?
no its not CT either, its this- https://www.amenclinics.com/services/brain-spect/
i am so scared of whats going on with me that im in the process of like writing letters to people for if i die soon, and throwing away any sort of journals or things that I dont want anyone to know about me lol
i have this impending sense of im going to die soon, whether its of natural causes or an accident or i commit suicide(unlikely but i might get that desperate in the future who knows). on top of this feeling that its going to happen soon is my own desire for it to happen soon
currently i am praying for the right circumstances to come that end my life before it gets any significantly worse than it is right now because its pretty bad right now, even tho i am surrounded by people who love me and i am mostly at peace currently i know that if this internal self destruction continues im probably not going to be able to stay peaceful and thats why i want to die before then
like idk how peaceful i can be if like i go blind or deaf for example or develop a painful illness
i feel like the clock is ticking on how much time i have left on this earth as me, in this body and this mind. i truly dont see myself being able to live more than a year like i dont feel that i have more than a few months left but i cant predict the future
OK theee thoughts when you read the FAQ.
See: “I heard SPECT has a poor resolution , some refer to it as poor man’s PET”— he is saying that the resolution of PET scans is better than SPECT, but for some reason he upholds their “clinical reading” of scans is better. Ask him if it’s indicated for you to have SPECT.
Two, your visit is NOT covered by insurance. May want to consider that.
Three, how did you find their clinic. He says the scans are indicated, mostly in traumatic brain injury and addiction —but also some subtypes of disorders where patients just “get stuck”
—-did you walk in off the Internet (he’s a New York Times bestselling physician) or did you get a referral ?
