What has the aging experience been for you over the years.
- if at all, how much have you changed and in what ways.
I'm more fragile in some ways, but some of my older issues that were debilitating I've grown out of.
Experience has given things more depth of understanding, which even for it's disappointing times has still amounted to overall growth. I otherwise see large transitions in perspective sort of like dying and coming back changed, having me not really feel like "me" anymore when I compare myself to past models of me.
Sure aging will mean losing faculties and otherwise slowing down, but it also means being exposed to that much more of life.
- would you consider these ways beneficial or self destructive.
More life experience alongside reduced energy is kinda nice. How I used to live looks a bit exhausting now, but I also lived like that because I had more energy to burn.
I'd say it offers more room for depth and is otherwise more relaxing if you don't go into age related complexes. Self destruction takes passion, and passion's a younger drive.
- if you had to guess, what direction do you see yourself aging in the future.
Oh I don't expect this to end well at all, but it's more about the journey.
What has the aging experience been for you over the years.
- if at all, how much have you changed and in what ways.
I have learned so much about myself and others. It is invaluable information. I'd say it boosted my confidence, but really it just allowed it to manifest.
- would you consider these ways beneficial or self destructive.
Everything has been beneficial, including failures.
- if you had to guess, what direction do you see yourself aging in the future.
It will be fine in the near future, in some aspects I expect it to be great in the far future, in others I hope it becomes great, but I am confident it would be fine at least.
Due to the fact that I find it hard to remember a lot of my childhood, even my time in high school which really was not that long ago, I graduated in 2018. I can remember aspects, and if I think for a bit, I can remember more, but it feels disconnected in a way, I can still get nostalgia from some things.
Anyway, due to that fact. I feel like I'm a new person. Prior to the way I was, I was suicidal and lonely growing up, I had friends, everyone knew me, and I'd make people laugh by acting crazy and silly, but still deep inside I felt pathetic. Essentially, after a lot of shit happening to me, and the build up of that, I begun to have mental breakdowns that got worse over time and featured periods of apathy. Until, one night, it was the finale, and I woke up different.
Not posting this for sympathy or anything, the previous Synth was inferior. I feel like I have new life with the exception of the environment I'm currently in.
I guess I still have a life to experience, if I live a short life, so be it, I mean I guess the things I suffer from can be boredom a lot, but I've gotten used to it to an extent, and I need to because I cannot be impulsive in the way I want to go, and well the other problems are the things in my head, compulsions.
It's intriguing to me, though it's a big adventure and it will be rough for me.
I know the military will be hard, and I'm not expecting to see others as role-models and such, I'm aware of the foolishness that can take place.
I used to be a lot more reckless than I am now. What that basically meant was when I heard junkies were going through your garage, I would too because I knew you wouldn't know it was me. Then over time I stopped desiring so much and started holding friendship to a high standard. I have a lot more anxiety than I used to, but I think it's because I am more aware. Age has sharpened me if anything.
I would say that it's just confirmed what i already know since a teenager, and in general made me through various experiences more focused in the knowledge i already had. Perhaps a remove of self doubt.
When it comes to learning, i learnt a lot in the last years about relation ships and emotional investment, and how humans can be cold and detached when you least expect it. Something i wasn't expecting when i was a teenager, i was projecting-my emotions to everyone.
Now about beneficial or self destructive.
That's a tough one.
When it comes to be more cold-detached and focused to goals instead of illusions people invent to cope, i would say that it was highly beneficial, i woke up, so in terms of practicality it's a boost. And in terms of wisdom as well.
But self destructive in jus as-serious senses.
Loss of innocence, loss of creativity based on lack of concern, loss of anticipation, loss of respect, and even loss of appreciation.
So i would say that for the eyes of the public, generally, it made me stronger-much more, but if you ask me personally i would trade my innocent self for the current one.
Now about the future.
I have absolutely no idea, and aside of accomplishments i want to do for the sake of ego-pleasing and arrogance, i couldn't care less how i will age. Therefore i can't imagine how it will be.
My estimations though intuiviely are.
1)Something in high class, rich, powerful, in 4 years from now.
2)Dead.
Mediocriy will be avoided for sure, given how i already prepared procedures that work even right now.
But if you ask me about me-personally, most likely colder or even more detached.
A dull person but wise, or perhaps a dead person who couldn't control himself.
Those are my estimations, and i have no way to confirm their validity, i assume.
What has the aging experience been for you over the years.
Same as everyone else. It's all a learning experience. I get a sense that we're handling what we must, and if we get everything right our lifespans decrease.
- if at all, how much have you changed and in what ways.
Gradually becoming more content, or at least aspiring to be. I do not love as I originally planned, but for sanity sake, I love in accordance with how reality truely is. I then understand the concept of it being greater to love, than be loved.
One might assume I think so because I'm probably unloved, but that's not the case. I see people who freak out if their holiday doesn't turn out good, and I seen that every single year, as domeone is bound to lose their cool at these times. I don't put any importance in things like that, and I do give a lot throughout the year.
I see people maxing out their credit cards and falling into debt, because it might make others happy and in some cases if they don't do it, then they'll get abused in some way shape or form.
I've also lost people and I'm pretty cool about it, so again it's better to love than be loved. Or striving toward selflessness. I understand how well off our entire civilization would be if we looked out for one another more than we do now. We can look out for ourselves but we cannot do a better job of that when many others also have our backs. The world isn't quite like that on the most part, but in practice we worry less when we're not overly concerned about being loved. Take Jim for example. Longing to be cared for and gets none, so he sufferes. The way of the fool in my eyes.
- would you consider these ways beneficial or self destructive.
Both. I wrote The Process of Self Transformation. And it basically is about how painful it is when it's time to change.
When is it time to change ? It happens very profoundly, like when we lose someone dear to us. The ego in this case is under pressure, struggling to remain as we, the persona, are forced to make the change. At this point we make the decision to become better or worse. Worse, if we never get over it and better if we move on. We also get stronger and more prepared for the worst, which I assure you is on the way.
It's cliche, but chaos = creation
- if you had to guess, what direction do you see yourself aging in the future.
I've asked myself that many times in the past, and the question in itself is sparked from wonder. That being said I do not know. At 41, I often say I've made it to the future and so my old questions have finally been answered with more answers to come at a time I refer to as the final future later on.
If I had to guess I'm going to lose people. My beneficiaries will anticipate my death. Tic Tok culture and it's generation will utterly disgust me, while their offspring will either blow my mind or kill me, yet that's what I'll be transferring my wealth to, God forgive me. I might do 1 more new romantic relationship, but it's not a great priority. Past romantic interests will contact me to update me on their children or what their children has become before getting into what could have been, then they'll get into how their happy how it went anyway lol. It's very likely I'll feel used by my final company in this life if I'm not alone.
It's looking quite bleak but ill be prepared. Since I'm going to die I might aswell want to in 40 more years. I can love people though. It's not being enamored by them or being in a submission. It's hanging out with them. Chatting. Fighting. Solving problems. Sex. Politics. Technology. Kindness. Wraith. Sins and repentance. Health and wealth and stories and experiences. Places, entertainment, work, play. I'm good at all of these things.
I would say that it's just confirmed what i already know since a teenager, and in general made me through various experiences more focused in the knowledge i already had. Perhaps a remove of self doubt.
When it comes to learning, i learnt a lot in the last years about relation ships and emotional investment, and how humans can be cold and detached when you least expect it. Something i wasn't expecting when i was a teenager, i was projecting-my emotions to everyone.
Now about beneficial or self destructive.
That's a tough one.
When it comes to be more cold-detached and focused to goals instead of illusions people invent to cope, i would say that it was highly beneficial, i woke up, so in terms of practicality it's a boost. And in terms of wisdom as well.
But self destructive in jus as-serious senses.
Loss of innocence, loss of creativity based on lack of concern, loss of anticipation, loss of respect, and even loss of appreciation.
So i would say that for the eyes of the public, generally, it made me stronger-much more, but if you ask me personally i would trade my innocent self for the current one.
Now about the future.
I have absolutely no idea, and aside of accomplishments i want to do for the sake of ego-pleasing and arrogance, i couldn't care less how i will age. Therefore i can't imagine how it will be.
My estimations though intuiviely are.
1)Something in high class, rich, powerful, in 4 years from now.
2)Dead.
Mediocriy will be avoided for sure, given how i already prepared procedures that work even right now.
But if you ask me about me-personally, most likely colder or even more detached.
A dull person but wise, or perhaps a dead person who couldn't control himself.
Those are my estimations, and i have no way to confirm their validity, i assume.
You're quite young, aren't you?
I would say that it's just confirmed what i already know since a teenager, and in general made me through various experiences more focused in the knowledge i already had. Perhaps a remove of self doubt.
When it comes to learning, i learnt a lot in the last years about relation ships and emotional investment, and how humans can be cold and detached when you least expect it. Something i wasn't expecting when i was a teenager, i was projecting-my emotions to everyone.
Now about beneficial or self destructive.
That's a tough one.
When it comes to be more cold-detached and focused to goals instead of illusions people invent to cope, i would say that it was highly beneficial, i woke up, so in terms of practicality it's a boost. And in terms of wisdom as well.
But self destructive in jus as-serious senses.
Loss of innocence, loss of creativity based on lack of concern, loss of anticipation, loss of respect, and even loss of appreciation.
So i would say that for the eyes of the public, generally, it made me stronger-much more, but if you ask me personally i would trade my innocent self for the current one.
Now about the future.
I have absolutely no idea, and aside of accomplishments i want to do for the sake of ego-pleasing and arrogance, i couldn't care less how i will age. Therefore i can't imagine how it will be.
My estimations though intuiviely are.
1)Something in high class, rich, powerful, in 4 years from now.
2)Dead.
Mediocriy will be avoided for sure, given how i already prepared procedures that work even right now.
But if you ask me about me-personally, most likely colder or even more detached.
A dull person but wise, or perhaps a dead person who couldn't control himself.
Those are my estimations, and i have no way to confirm their validity, i assume.
You're quite young, aren't you?
22
good topic, the average life expectancy is about 75 yo, so when you are 25 one third of your life is over. when i turned 25 some years back, this was kind of a difficult realization. what have i done? am i doing the right stuff? where am i going?
i went through a mini 1/3 life crisis and just re-evaluated where i was and where i was going.
ever since then i have continued to do this. i make sure im doing what i want to do and re-evaluate my goals. this has helped me over the years.
i remember when i was in my 20s i was like, "i cant wait to grow up and be something"
now im like, " wtf i need to slow the fuck down and smell the roses cuz life is short"
so if ive learned anything, its slow the fuck down and enjoy the moment in time you are in right now, evaluate your position and make sure you have no regrets when you do become old. make sure you can look back on your life and say, "fuck ya i did exactly what i wanted"
do what is important to you, family, love, career, w/e, live with the end in mind.
