Sociopath Community

Legga said: 

I've traveled to a surprising number of places when I'd had little inclination to travel before, and otherwise have been trying to work on myself for trying to feel more fulfilled. 

Sounds familiar. When I was younger, I got tired of myself and of Europe and haven't been back in ~5+ years. How is that going?

I mean you knew about the disorder already, right?

It's just going to get more difficult with time. I'm trying to enjoy what I can while I can, as there's no real telling what to expect as time goes on. I'm trying something closer to "Living in the Moment" now, which seems easier to do now than when I was younger. 

I've been off SC a lot, and I don't spend that much time here these days, so I'm not really very well-informed.

So what's up? I'd like to know.

It's more than just there, I've been to Thailand, Vietnam, Myanmar, Costa Rica, Laos, Cambodia

Why Asia specifically?  I've been to many of these places for short touristy visits when I had a bit of time off.

I didn't pick the places to go, I'm just a very lucky tag along who's had much to learn from leaving my house. 

Share a story from Cambodia :0

I visited Pnom Penh, Seam Reap, and Koh Rong. You ever hear about S-21 and The Killing Fields? It's fucking poetry.

For S-21 it's a hell of a journey to hear about Comrad Duch (Kang Kek Lew), a former professor turned prisoner turned child abuse crafter for building a child soldier army for the Khmer Rouge that really got off to religious and philosophical zeal to the point of madness (He's still alive nowadays, and claims to be a Christian!). Walking around in his former prison, you can see art from the prisoners, you can smell the wooden cells that still smelled of the prisoner's blood, you could read journalistic accounts from many involved (including that of a defiant prisoner Duch got a love-hate crush on), and the place was just very very dark accounts of history that I'd recommend for anyone to see. 

The Killing Fields had stories about children's heads being bashed into trees, their group killing all the doctors and smart people to become "more pure" again (hahaha), a building who's walls filled floor to ceiling with skulls, and the audio tour for the place was just... 

Crow had to close my jaw a few times from the awe I got out of the stories. They'd even do things like play their music super loudly to drown out the screams, making sure their neighbors could not hear the death and suffering. It's art, it's pure, uncensored art about "terrible" things, and I found myself in such a state of awe over the narration of the place. 

Seam Reap was pretty tourist trappish, but it did have some awesome temples at a section of it called Angkor Wat, and a show with tons of very clearly expressed propaganda called Smile of Angkor, which featured tons of lasers and "happy messages" about their culture that... left a funny taste in my mouth (both haha and gross funny tastes). It was a great show for it's talent, but it was also super, fucking, weird. We were even warned to take the national anthem seriously if we don't want to be arrested and shit. 

Koh Rong was a fun island with tons of domesticated-yet-wild dogs that knew the begging game down to a science. Some shops sold weed cookies, so me, Crow, and Syst ate some of those and waded around in the water for a bit. At night we'd get some strong drinks, sit in outside chairs, and watch people try to walk in very deeply sinking sand while sluggish from their nights of partying. We also found an absolutely hilarious bar outside of the stretch that played terrible rap music we couldn't stop laughing at. 

It was also a great chance to people watch other culture's tourists (especially The Chinese dear god I was not as racist before traveling, but they make awful travelers as groups). Only real thing I'd say to come more prepared for other than some very rude tourists is their bed bug situations. 

Legga said: 

and within the US I've seen Kentucky, Florida (parts of it I hadn't seen yet), Colorado, Utah, Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico, Ohio, Kansas (it's awful), New York, California, and Illinois. 

I like New York, very down-to-earth.

New York has slightly more in common with Japan for their sense of decorating and crowd politics. Visiting there when it came to blending in was very similar to that, albeit with other little rules like not facing the bottom of your shoes at people. 

I went there more as a kid, as my folks really enjoyed going back there to see musicians and shows as well as to reabsorb fragments of their past, and I when I was younger wished I could have grown up there. Their street talent's pretty good too, the food's good, the people watching is Primo, and I like the feel of the place. 

I can definitely do without the fucking sewage smell that warmly and forcefully rushes up the sidewalk grates though, that smell sticks to you if you're unfortunate enough to pass over one as a train rushes by. Also their horse drawn carriage situation borders on cruel and makes the tour streets smell like horse shit, so that being discontinued would make the place nicer too. 

Basically, if you can ignore that it often for one reason or another smells like shit, New York is the place to be. That and Illinois are where to go to catch The Jazz Scene's dying breath. 

I also visit Illinois every so often (usually Chicago area).

Weeee should meet. 

I haven't been to Kansas but one of my friends is from there and he vouches for Kansas being a shithole (he's a gay primary school teacher who doesn't like creationism, you can imagine his life was fun in Kansas).

I didn't bother listing most of the places I was mostly just passing through, but Kansas has NOTHING going on, and it took way too many hours to pass through it. 

It's just flat fields, sheer heat, suicidal birds, grain silos, some horses and cows, tons of anti-abortion signs, speed traps at every... "town" to try to dredge up funds, churches, and the occasional bar/liquor store with a funny joke like "Drink Happy Thoughts". 

It's not worth it, the place is fucking awful. Even my experience with their "Huddle House" was comically awful for every little thing. 

I hadn't considered traveling much until I met Crow, but since then it's been a nice addition to my life. It really helps for shaking off that life is only meant to be lived one way, and there's been so many interesting people to meet along the way.

I'm genuinely happy to hear that.

TC, you have interesting stories. I think I might stick around here for a while after all.

Cool, as there's tons more stories. 

Tons. 

Life isn't worth living without experiences, and stories are like the condensed version of them. I love collecting them, and I'm seeing overtime that making my own is fun too (as opposed to just vicariously living through everyone else). 

I finally have a bit of time to reply. Turncoat, have you read the book `Thinking fast and slow` by Daniel Kahneman? I think you'd like it. I've ever had two books that changed my life, that was one of them.

It seems like you liked the silence. I've been to Osaka and Kyoto; it was relaxing, things moved slow. Everyone has their brains on overdrive these days. So how does it feel like, not to have stress, or is that all coming back now that you're back to old habits?

 You mentioned a lot of stuff about your condition. What do you mean by "collateral damage" and delusional spirals?

Regarding contributing to society: Going to Asia where contributing to society is *all* people are sold gives it a whole new perspective. It's like an ant society. Modern slavery.

Read about the Cambodia guy: "He always admitted that he had been wrong and that he had done horrible things; he said that he repented and that he had converted to Christianity." and " For example, on a list containing the names of 17 prisoners (eight teenagers and nine children), he wrote the order “Smash them to pieces.”" Holy crap.

The purity thing happened in China too. They killed off all educated people and asked people to make these "steel furnishes" to make high-quality pig steel by burning farming equipment. Turns out you need farming equipment, and everyone starved to death. That's what I've been told, anyway, and it's a funny catchy story so I believe it.

I've been to Angkor Wat, it is a pretty nice place. So you guys didn't run into any troubles in Cambodia or Thailand?

The reason I like New York is that New Yorkers are "rude". I like it. That's why I like New York. They're rude. I also like their sense of humor, and the fact that they don't pull a pretense. You can see people from all around. It's even better than Boston. The only thing that is lacking, which would make it perfect, is a sense of "sarcasm". The smell of shit is nice too. At least it's better than France.

"Weeee should meet."

I think we'd get along, but I don't want my name associated with this website in any way.

I like your description of Kansas. It's like Finland, but even shittier.

So why are you back?

Btw, I'll be off SC for a while (~1-2 weeks) because I'm flooded with work. I fired one of my students and have a million things piling up.

Legga said: 

I finally have a bit of time to reply. Turncoat, have you read the book `Thinking fast and slow` by Daniel Kahneman? I think you'd like it. I've ever had two books that changed my life, that was one of them.

I keep trying to get back into reading, but my focus keeps dying when I try. 

It seems like you liked the silence.

It's more like the silence showed me it's inverse: How much noise there is everywhere else, all the time. I now know that cultivating a comfortable environment takes reshaping it even down to the tiniest of buzzing sounds. 

I'd already had some concerns with noise quality, but it basically became the "Absolute Level" gag from Rick and Morty. 

I've been to Osaka and Kyoto; it was relaxing, things moved slow. Everyone has their brains on overdrive these days.

Japan's pretty wired from what I saw, just more into their phones than their bodies (even more so than the US). 

Asia's been having some pretty wild times with technology addiction. 

So how does it feel like, not to have stress, or is that all coming back now that you're back to old habits?

Oh stress is never 100% gone, it's a matter of harm reduction. 

Being back home though now makes it strangely difficult to cultivate comfort zones that are productive. 

I should be retraining my ability to read, practicing the bass, or even maybe taking up an e-sport, but these days I've mostly descended into passive Youtubing. Even with it being things like Vice or random internet personalities of the "nobody" tier, it's felt less educational overtime. 

You mentioned a lot of stuff about your condition. What do you mean by "collateral damage" and delusional spirals?

You know that expression about having to step around problems like mines/eggshells? I feel like that about life, and the goal has been to numb that worry. It's a gateway drug into doormatting. 

Delusional spirals can happen from having too much stress (or too much sleep), and man is stress easy to accumulate. I've seen that controlling my environment can help keep elements of myself under control, but that too much self-control makes for stagnation. 

There has to be some room to make mistakes or nothing is learned. 

Regarding contributing to society: Going to Asia where contributing to society is *all* people are sold gives it a whole new perspective. It's like an ant society. Modern slavery. 

Depends where in Asia you're going, but generally yeah it's kind of a Capricornian nightmare. 

Read about the Cambodia guy: "He always admitted that he had been wrong and that he had done horrible things; he said that he repented and that he had converted to Christianity." and " For example, on a list containing the names of 17 prisoners (eight teenagers and nine children), he wrote the order “Smash them to pieces.”" Holy crap.

He's such an interesting character, particularly in relation to how he can lose himself to ideological zeal to the point of madness. It's interesting to read that he began as a college professor, and was sent to jail alongside students he'd appealed to for their ways of protesting. 

He tried to shake out of the noose by saying that he was just following orders (and that he's repented by turning Christian, hah!), but there's way too many accounts for how much he was actually in charge of and personally relished. He turned a sour little job into a passion project, and S-21 made for a hell of a museum for his art. 

His reactions also seem strangely... rationally heartless, and he does a lot of damage control in relation to his PR (people tend to not believe him, but he still does it). He even delayed escaping the prison as early as he could have before Vietnamese occupation so that he could kill some more prisoners. 

The guy's currently serving a 35 year sentence. 

The purity thing happened in China too. They killed off all educated people and asked people to make these "steel furnishes" to make high-quality pig steel by burning farming equipment. Turns out you need farming equipment, and everyone starved to death. That's what I've been told, anyway, and it's a funny catchy story so I believe it.

Just looked it up, and it brings up stuff related to "The Great Leap Forward": 

Thoughtco.com said:

Mao hoped to increase China's agricultural output while also pulling workers from agriculture into the manufacturing sector. He relied, however, on nonsensical Soviet farming ideas, such as planting crops very close together so that the stems could support one another and plowing up to six feet deep to encourage root growth. These farming strategies damaged countless acres of farmland and dropped crop yields, rather than producing more food with fewer farmers.
 
Mao also wanted to free China from the need to import steel and machinery. He encouraged people to set up backyard steel furnaces, where citizens could turn scrap metal into usable steel. Families had to meet quotas for steel production, so in desperation, they often melted down useful items such as their own pots, pans, and farm implements.
 
The results were predictably bad. Backyard smelters run by peasants with no metallurgy training produced such low-quality material that it was completely worthless.

Good. Stuff. 

I've been to Angkor Wat, it is a pretty nice place. So you guys didn't run into any troubles in Cambodia or Thailand?

We had some cards swiped from us in Pattaya, but we disabled those cards and found other ways to get around. 

There were some stress fueled arguments when plans didn't work out as planned, but those resolved themselves. 

There was a skin allergy that erupted on one of us from petting one of the local hostel cats, but that basically fixed itself with time away from the cat. 

I'd otherwise say the main "problem" we had with traveling there was planning more than we had the energy to do, which meant skipping some stuff while we sat around and relaxed. 

The reason I like New York is that New Yorkers are "rude". I like it. That's why I like New York. They're rude. 

It's funny, their stories are about them being "so rude", but come some major power outages, trash strikes, strongest snowstorm they've had on record (I was there for one of those), or even just a car breaking down and they will be some of the quickest people to rush to be a good samaritan. 

I'd say they're less rude and more so impatient and self-absorbed, typically dealing with street problems by ignoring them, which is pretty common for urban living. I saw more of it in my time living in California. 

Of course I haven't gone to the rougher neighborhoods, so maybe the stereotype's all clustered there. 

I also like their sense of humor

You mean answering questions with a question? 

and the fact that they don't pull a pretense.

No pretense? Tell that to their fashion trends. 

The only thing that is lacking, which would make it perfect, is a sense of "sarcasm".

They're pretty snarky out there, almost as if snark was a second language. 

The smell of shit is nice too.

But it's warm and it clings onto you. 

New York Subway smell has more scent cling than Fast Food Subway.  

#rejected

Legga said:

"Weeee should meet."

I think we'd get along, but I don't want my name associated with this website in any way.

So just give me a fake name when we meet in person, or insist we talk in aliases or something. 

So why are you back?

My reason for staying away expired.

I didn't say I'd never come back, just that I was extremely reluctant to with Luna remaining in charge. 

Hi TC,

I finally have a bit of time to reply to you now that I finally managed to shelve my fiancee and work. I'd like some of that Zen silence please.

It's more like the silence showed me it's inverse: How much noise there is everywhere else, all the time. I now know that cultivating a comfortable environment takes reshaping it even down to the tiniest of buzzing sounds. 

How's that going?

I'd already had some concerns with noise quality, but it basically became the "Absolute Level" gag from Rick and Morty.

Hahaha, nice to finally get that nagging feeling out of your mind?

Japan's pretty wired from what I saw, just more into their phones than their bodies (even more so than the US). 

Asia's been having some pretty wild times with technology addiction.

I keep telling my friends Asia lives in the Matrix.

Oh stress is never 100% gone, it's a matter of harm reduction. 

Being back home though now makes it strangely difficult to cultivate comfort zones that are productive. 

I've read this book about habit formation on one long and boring weekend. Apparently, it's extremely difficult to change habits. They're triggered by "cues." When you get back to your old home, all the familiar irritations return, triggering your old habits. It's easier to switch habits if you recognize the cues, or remove the cues altogether. Or so the theory goes.

That's why I'll never go back to my home and I love traveling. I think if I went back home I'd just crash after a few months.

The stuff in the book is not as well-grounded as it is in Daniel Kahneman's book but it's still a fun weekend read.

I should be retraining my ability to read, practicing the bass, or even maybe taking up an e-sport, but these days I've mostly descended into passive Youtubing. Even with it being things like Vice or random internet personalities of the "nobody" tier, it's felt less educational overtime.

Bass? Cool.

You know that expression about having to step around problems like mines/eggshells? I feel like that about life, and the goal has been to numb that worry. It's a gateway drug into doormatting. 

Doormatting?

Delusional spirals can happen from having too much stress (or too much sleep), and man is stress easy to accumulate. I've seen that controlling my environment can help keep elements of myself under control, but that too much self-control makes for stagnation.

So what are your cues?

He's such an interesting character, particularly in relation to how he can lose himself to ideological zeal to the point of madness. It's interesting to read that he began as a college professor, and was sent to jail alongside students he'd appealed to for their ways of protesting.

He tried to shake out of the noose by saying that he was just following orders (and that he's repented by turning Christian, hah!), but there's way too many accounts for how much he was actually in charge of and personally relished. He turned a sour little job into a passion project, and S-21 made for a hell of a museum for his art. 

His reactions also seem strangely... rationally heartless, and he does a lot of damage control in relation to his PR (people tend to not believe him, but he still does it). He even delayed escaping the prison as early as he could have before Vietnamese occupation so that he could kill some more prisoners. 

The guy's currently serving a 35 year sentence.

There's something weird that happens in the brain, like a "switch," when you realize you're not held accountable. And then it all comes rushing back when you face the consequences. I find the guy pretty interesting. Did he ever say what made him change his mind?

Just looked it up, and it brings up stuff related to "The Great Leap Forward": 

Mao's celebrated as a hero now. The politics of his time was "free for all" in the literal sense. Everyone wanted power and there was no loyalty or sense of justice. A lot of people claim Mao caused chaos, destruction and painted enemies everywhere to get people's attention off his obvious deficiencies. Just so that he can stay in power. After everyone tried to backstab Mao (not because it was Mao on the throne but because it was literally free-for-all), he got depressed and chose a wallflower as his successor. That guy was thrown aside real quick.

We had some cards swiped from us in Pattaya, but we disabled those cards and found other ways to get around. 

There were some stress fueled arguments when plans didn't work out as planned, but those resolved themselves. 

There was a skin allergy that erupted on one of us from petting one of the local hostel cats, but that basically fixed itself with time away from the cat. 

I'd otherwise say the main "problem" we had with traveling there was planning more than we had the energy to do, which meant skipping some stuff while we sat around and relaxed.

By the way how'd you all meet? You're all in Ohio?

It's funny, their stories are about them being "so rude", but come some major power outages, trash strikes, strongest snowstorm they've had on record (I was there for one of those), or even just a car breaking down and they will be some of the quickest people to rush to be a good samaritan. 

They're all fluffy on the inside.

I'd say they're less rude and more so impatient and self-absorbed, typically dealing with street problems by ignoring them, which is pretty common for urban living. I saw more of it in my time living in California. 

Not a big fan of CA, especially not LA. I have a theory that Californians were born to hate Nordic people. Everything that is normal in Nordic countries is considered offensive in California. San Diego isn't too bad.

You mean answering questions with a question?

More subtle but yeah. Hard to pinpoint.

No pretense? Tell that to their fashion trends.

That's fair.

They're pretty snarky out there, almost as if snark was a second language.

NY's more snarky than most of US. But there's a certain lack of dark humour and defeat expressed as sarcasm which is missing and which I've grown accustomed to. I can live without it, but there's some immediate consensus and understanding I grant to people when they make that type of sarcastic comment at that right moment.

But it's warm and it clings onto you. 

New York Subway smell has more scent cling than Fast Food Subway. 

 :D

My reason for staying away expired.

I didn't say I'd never come back, just that I was extremely reluctant to with Luna remaining in charge.

Glad to have you back.

Legga said: 

I'd like some of that Zen silence please.

Me too. 

It's more like the silence showed me it's inverse: How much noise there is everywhere else, all the time. I now know that cultivating a comfortable environment takes reshaping it even down to the tiniest of buzzing sounds. 

How's that going?

I'd already had some concerns with noise quality, but it basically became the "Absolute Level" gag from Rick and Morty.

Hahaha, nice to finally get that nagging feeling out of your mind?

Other way around: Seeing what it was like to have it be pure quiet has me now fixate on every little thing that'd disturb it. Something set the bar, which makes tons of room for comparisons. 

Now things like the laptop fan or the fridge buzz can drive me bonkers. They always had sewn in subtle discomfort and stress, but recognizing it makes it louder. 

I've read this book about habit formation on one long and boring weekend. Apparently, it's extremely difficult to change habits. They're triggered by "cues." When you get back to your old home, all the familiar irritations return, triggering your old habits. It's easier to switch habits if you recognize the cues, or remove the cues altogether. Or so the theory goes.

Yeah habit formation seems to scratch the surface of causal determinism. It attempts to look at all the components that led to your decisions instead of blindly calling everything "a choice". 

I think my Psych 101 tried to say it takes like seven years or something to detox the more overt forms of parental conditioning. 

That's why I'll never go back to my home and I love traveling. I think if I went back home I'd just crash after a few months. 

I love traveling too but it's too pricey and exhausting to have be a constant (save for living in a van and parking it at camp sites or something). 

How would you sustain a life of travel? 

I should be retraining my ability to read, practicing the bass, or even maybe taking up an e-sport, but these days I've mostly descended into passive Youtubing. Even with it being things like Vice or random internet personalities of the "nobody" tier, it's felt less educational overtime.

Bass? Cool. 

It'd be cool if I actually practiced. 

I'd rather be learning the piano/beyboard. 

You know that expression about having to step around problems like mines/eggshells? I feel like that about life, and the goal has been to numb that worry. It's a gateway drug into doormatting. 

Doormatting?

The expression came from the idea of a person being "walked all over": 

Delusional spirals can happen from having too much stress (or too much sleep), and man is stress easy to accumulate. I've seen that controlling my environment can help keep elements of myself under control, but that too much self-control makes for stagnation.

So what are your cues?

I used to have a lot more specific ones, but the more specific it is the more direct ground there is to tackle the issue. 

These days it's generally an accumulation of stress or too much/too little sleep. It's more like when I'm in such a headspace that anything could become the problem. I before figured I just needed a plan for everything, accumulating more stress and eventually risking watching the plans fall apart for the whole "house of cards" catastrophe, but these days it's closer to learning the hints it gives and trying to improvise from within it carrying a base idea of what to expect. 

The feelings precede the ideas, so if I can recognize the feelings I can tell myself to not take myself (as) seriously that day. 

He's such an interesting character, particularly in relation to how he can lose himself to ideological zeal to the point of madness. It's interesting to read that he began as a college professor, and was sent to jail alongside students he'd appealed to for their ways of protesting.

He tried to shake out of the noose by saying that he was just following orders (and that he's repented by turning Christian, hah!), but there's way too many accounts for how much he was actually in charge of and personally relished. He turned a sour little job into a passion project, and S-21 made for a hell of a museum for his art. 

His reactions also seem strangely... rationally heartless, and he does a lot of damage control in relation to his PR (people tend to not believe him, but he still does it). He even delayed escaping the prison as early as he could have before Vietnamese occupation so that he could kill some more prisoners. 

The guy's currently serving a 35 year sentence.

There's something weird that happens in the brain, like a "switch," when you realize you're not held accountable. And then it all comes rushing back when you face the consequences.

The Oscar Wild quote (that I used recently) "Give a man a mask and you'll see their true face" basically goes into the same idea. 

Things like PCP and sex seem to have ways of hacking that section, and out of it can come seemingly different people. Sex itself is kind of nuts for how it shuts down higher judgement, floods your brain with reward chemicals, and then imprints very powerful memories of that moment onto your brain. 

No wonder some who become sexually liberated think they've "found their true selves" and shit. It's how you can get people to call themselves self-demeaning labels and take all sorts of abuse while not quite getting why they did it later. 

I find the guy pretty interesting. Did he ever say what made him change his mind? 

"Christianity". 

More like he was on the run for long enough to potentially see the problems from the third person perspective. He doesn't seem to feel bad at all for it though judging by his facial cues. 

By the way how'd you all meet? You're all in Ohio?

We met on this forum. 

While living with Crow we had different SC people come to visit with two out of three of them becoming roommates. For the overseas trip though Syst was the only one able to do it (Tryp didn't work out and Cain wasn't a physical part of our lives yet). 

I'd say they're less rude and more so impatient and self-absorbed, typically dealing with street problems by ignoring them, which is pretty common for urban living. I saw more of it in my time living in California. 

Not a big fan of CA, especially not LA.

I like it, but you have to be ready for "unexpected" things more often than somewhere in the Midwest. 

I have a theory that Californians were born to hate Nordic people. Everything that is normal in Nordic countries is considered offensive in California. 

Like what? 

They're pretty snarky out there, almost as if snark was a second language.

NY's more snarky than most of US. But there's a certain lack of dark humour and defeat expressed as sarcasm which is missing and which I've grown accustomed to. I can live without it, but there's some immediate consensus and understanding I grant to people when they make that type of sarcastic comment at that right moment.

I'm still trying to grasp how not all cultures use sarcasm. 

 I finally have a moment of peace and quiet. 

Yeah habit formation seems to scratch the surface of causal determinism. It attempts to look at all the components that led to your decisions instead of blindly calling everything "a choice". 

I think my Psych 101 tried to say it takes like seven years or something to detox the more overt forms of parental conditioning.

Sounds pretty interesting. Any studies you can link? I did a quick search but couldn't find good sources.

I love traveling too but it's too pricey and exhausting to have be a constant (save for living in a van and parking it at camp sites or something). 

How would you sustain a life of travel?

Me too.

In my case, my university pays for it. There's a difference, though. It's not traveling for fun, although I usually take some time off at the end of my visit and during the weekend. I spend a fairly large portion of my time off the university, but I guess it's not the same as never returning "home".

You can always work abroad, then your home is not your birth place and you can get rid of some of the irritations.

It'd be cool if I actually practiced. 

I'd rather be learning the piano/beyboard.

Wanna show off bass skills here via vocaroo?

I used to have a lot more specific ones, but the more specific it is the more direct ground there is to tackle the issue. 

These days it's generally an accumulation of stress or too much/too little sleep. It's more like when I'm in such a headspace that anything could become the problem. I before figured I just needed a plan for everything, accumulating more stress and eventually risking watching the plans fall apart for the whole "house of cards" catastrophe, but these days it's closer to learning the hints it gives and trying to improvise from within it carrying a base idea of what to expect. 

The feelings precede the ideas, so if I can recognize the feelings I can tell myself to not take myself (as) seriously that day.

I like your trick, having a "cue" on stress to trigger a habit to mitigate other habits and cues.

There's a nice philosophical quote that went something like "If you can't do anything about it, you don't need to stress about it, because you can't do anything. If you can do something about it,  you don't need to stress, because you can fix it."

The Oscar Wild quote (that I used recently) "Give a man a mask and you'll see their true face" basically goes into the same idea. 

Oscar Wilde? I should educate myself.

Things like PCP and sex seem to have ways of hacking that section, and out of it can come seemingly different people. Sex itself is kind of nuts for how it shuts down higher judgement, floods your brain with reward chemicals, and then imprints very powerful memories of that moment onto your brain. 

No wonder some who become sexually liberated think they've "found their true selves" and shit. It's how you can get people to call themselves self-demeaning labels and take all sorts of abuse while not quite getting why they did it later.

That sounds reasonable. Does that happen to you? 

I've never even thought about it.

More like he was on the run for long enough to potentially see the problems from the third person perspective. He doesn't seem to feel bad at all for it though judging by his facial cues.

Maybe he's doing it out of principle.

We met on this forum. 

While living with Crow we had different SC people come to visit with two out of three of them becoming roommates. For the overseas trip though Syst was the only one able to do it (Tryp didn't work out and Cain wasn't a physical part of our lives yet).

I see. So you really did get together. That's strange for a sociopath forum. You still keep in touch?

I have a theory that Californians were born to hate Nordic people. Everything that is normal in Nordic countries is considered offensive in California. 

Like what?

Not smiling to strangers, being short on chit chat, minding their own business, riding polar bears, lowering tone at the end of sentences, asking where people (e.g. asians) are from, not hating the right, replying 'I'm fine' when people ask how you are and not be super excited and act like you're on crack, etc.

I'm half-joking, and I have plenty of friends from California (including LA). So I'm not trying to slam LA or California -- it's not that bad though I like the Midwest and East Coast more. But, I've managed to offend more Californians than I have any other people in the world, without even realizing what I'd done wrong.

I'm still trying to grasp how not all cultures use sarcasm. 

 Maybe I over-stated things

Legga said: 

Yeah habit formation seems to scratch the surface of causal determinism. It attempts to look at all the components that led to your decisions instead of blindly calling everything "a choice". 

I think my Psych 101 tried to say it takes like seven years or something to detox the more overt forms of parental conditioning.

Sounds pretty interesting. Any studies you can link? I did a quick search but couldn't find good sources.

They refer to the phenomenon itself as "Extinction", but I can't seem to find his "7 year" figure anywhere except maybe this study? 

He said it randomly in class one day instead of it referring to our textbooks, so maybe he was wrong. 

In my case, my university pays for it. There's a difference, though. It's not traveling for fun, although I usually take some time off at the end of my visit and during the weekend.

What are they making you do? 

You can always work abroad, then your home is not your birth place and you can get rid of some of the irritations. 

Doing what, other than teaching English? 

I'd probably need to be more of a Polyglot if I wanted to make that work right? 

It'd be cool if I actually practiced. 

I'd rather be learning the piano/beyboard.

Wanna show off bass skills here via vocaroo?

Not even a little bit, no. 

I'm still just fiddling with learning what parts make what noises. I could at best do a like... one or two note rhythm? 

I used to have a lot more specific ones, but the more specific it is the more direct ground there is to tackle the issue. 

These days it's generally an accumulation of stress or too much/too little sleep. It's more like when I'm in such a headspace that anything could become the problem. I before figured I just needed a plan for everything, accumulating more stress and eventually risking watching the plans fall apart for the whole "house of cards" catastrophe, but these days it's closer to learning the hints it gives and trying to improvise from within it carrying a base idea of what to expect. 

The feelings precede the ideas, so if I can recognize the feelings I can tell myself to not take myself (as) seriously that day.

I like your trick, having a "cue" on stress to trigger a habit to mitigate other habits and cues.

Where am I doing that? That sounds like that thing Smokers do to try to train themselves into new habits. 

I was mostly saying in the first sentence that if the issue isn't vague (like lets say my former urge to avoid all cracks on the floor), that's an issue that can be directly tackled, as it's a direct action leading to a direct result; I can force myself to step on those cracks and gradually see through experience instead of purely logic that this shit's all in my own head. It's the stuff that's either more vague or less accessible that's harder to condition out. 

Second paragraph was largely just me saying "It's easier to sort out the details of what's around you than plan every aspect of your life in advance". 

There's a nice philosophical quote that went something like "If you can't do anything about it, you don't need to stress about it, because you can't do anything. If you can do something about it,  you don't need to stress, because you can fix it."

Easier said than done... 

A lot of stress accumulation I've seen comes from suspense, waiting for it to be over so that it can be accepted as a part of the past. 

The Oscar Wild quote (that I used recently) "Give a man a mask and you'll see their true face" basically goes into the same idea. 

Oscar Wilde? I should educate myself.

I only know a little about the guy, but he's great for quoting. 

Things like PCP and sex seem to have ways of hacking that section, and out of it can come seemingly different people. Sex itself is kind of nuts for how it shuts down higher judgement, floods your brain with reward chemicals, and then imprints very powerful memories of that moment onto your brain. 

No wonder some who become sexually liberated think they've "found their true selves" and shit. It's how you can get people to call themselves self-demeaning labels and take all sorts of abuse while not quite getting why they did it later.

That sounds reasonable. Does that happen to you? 

I've never even thought about it. 

Myself and basically everyone, yeah. It's largely responsible for separations between "The Mind" and "The Heart" for story writing symbols, as the shutting down of said "higher judgement" is usually associated with "erections" and expressions like "The heart wants what the heart wants". 

Lampshading it by explaining it doesn't ever fix it either, but it does give the room to smugly tell them you told them so like a jerk. 

We met on this forum. 

While living with Crow we had different SC people come to visit with two out of three of them becoming roommates. For the overseas trip though Syst was the only one able to do it (Tryp didn't work out and Cain wasn't a physical part of our lives yet).

I see. So you really did get together. That's strange for a sociopath forum. You still keep in touch?

It's been on and off with all the ones I've lived with anyway, yeah. 

There's no real reason to not meet people from this forum (other than maybe property damage risks). Who even seems remotely threatening here? 

No one here's a socio, we're at most collectively so as a sort of culture than we are as people. 

 

I have a theory that Californians were born to hate Nordic people. Everything that is normal in Nordic countries is considered offensive in California. 

Like what?

Not smiling to strangers

What part of California expects people to smile to strangers? 

minding their own business

I'd figure that a lot of Californians would like that about another person...

asking where people (e.g. asians) are from

Hahaha how'd that go? 

replying 'I'm fine' when people ask how you are and not be super excited and act like you're on crack, etc.

They are a bit excitable out there, yeah. A lot of them seem hungry for a story instead of just updating on your mood like it's the weather. 

I'm half-joking, and I have plenty of friends from California (including LA). So I'm not trying to slam LA or California -- it's not that bad though I like the Midwest and East Coast more. But, I've managed to offend more Californians than I have any other people in the world, without even realizing what I'd done wrong.

California definitely feeds eccentricity, but I've found active listening to be pretty disarming for people who'd insist on being seen or addressed in specific ways. 

They'll basically give you their scripts for free if you just sit there long enough.