Slay reporting
Since removing myself from discord and all other mental illness echo chambers a few years ago, I have since:
- went to trade school and got a career as an electrical lineman currently clearing 200k a year
- been through several relationships, learned, grew, and eventually found a lady that fits my criteria in a partner
- shed a lot of negative and toxic traits, learned to enjoy the positive in life, and developed a drive to succeed
I'll be able to afford fully buying off a house by myself in the best area of the state before I hit 30(currently 27). Then my next goal is having children and raising them properly. Going back to places like this fills me with a nasty feeling, there is a lot of negative energy here and I can't be a part of things like that any longer. I feel that life is too short to focus on things that are not leading you towards positive things.
I obviously don't relate to people here any longer. Perhaps I was never that crazy, just someone who lacked proper guidance and wanted to fit in with the wrong people. Regardless, these communities taught me a lot.
I still have to contain my craziness every day, so that hasn't changed. I still have desires to kill and hurt people sometimes. But I know that ending up in prison or dead would be a waste of my life, when I have so much to lose and yet so much potential. I want to be remembered by the people around me for impacting people's lives in a positive way. It is a lot easier to destroy than it is to build. My current goals is to develop a consistent mentality where I am a paragon of radiance to those around me. Being the bad guy or the outcast is played out. I want to be respected for the good that I do, and for how I treat other people.
I don't expect anyone here to relate or care, but I thought about this community today and I wanted a place to write out my thoughts. I don't hold any ill will towards anyone in here or over on discord.