ASPD tends to be a short-sighted thrillseeker to oppose encroaching boredom feelings that follow a shallow understanding of emotions.
Your emotions are far from shallow, if anything they're blindingly loud for you.
ya I def dont have aspd but some traits of it make sense to me, ive always related more to symptoms of borderline pd than aspd tho. they are both in the same cluster so not surprising to relate to some symptoms of all 4 in that cluster right? aspd, npd, borderline pd histrionic pd
Even my "real" ones, the ones that seem real and undeniably what i truly believe in the moment
Why? Is this an aspd thing? a borderline pd thing? are any of my opinions or beliefs real or all they all just tools to relieve my boredom/emptiness/loneliness?
this is definitely a bpd thing. it takes therapy to get past something like this honestly.
a lot of it.
Who else is like this here off the top of your head TC?
Wow sorry, I know I typed a reply for this but I don't see it on here now..?
To sum up: Look for people who defend themselves with phrases like "I would never do that" or "That's not me" instead of "I haven't ever done that" followed by history as to the why... and you'll find people who are stuck in present time and prone to reinvention. If they are appraising their own past behaviors over a construct ideal instead of a history of events, it's that much easier to practice denial of others who are otherwise keeping a record.
Some will warp events in order to more plainly fit the narrative they'd prefer, but there's others without that level of forethought that will simply rebuke others saying their thoughts over how it doesn't match their idea of themselves.
Examples: Med and Blanc.
I'd made this like four paragraphs before. 
Even my "real" ones, the ones that seem real and undeniably what i truly believe in the moment
Why? Is this an aspd thing? a borderline pd thing? are any of my opinions or beliefs real or all they all just tools to relieve my boredom/emptiness/loneliness?
this is definitely a bpd thing. it takes therapy to get past something like this honestly.
a lot of it.
It's potentially within a ton of disorders, and if we went as quickly as you're willing to for labels we'd be saying you have DID right now.
