Sociopath Community

I still think "Sam" is more of an idea or symbol you've lumped a lot of baggage into instead of a real person to you. 

bleary said:

Turncoat said: 

I originally posted this more thinking of Med, but this explosion of yours is pretty self-demonstrating. 

 ya i mean, I'm not offended, but i try to authentically represent myself and my inner truth and i am a troll whether or not people want to give me credit for it. so trying to pin me down and force me to be something more serious than a troll, when its on sc or has anything to do with online forums/discord, im always trolling, its an ingrained part of my personality once a troll always a troll imo

it takes a very high level on disillusionment with life to become an online troll in my opinion. and once you reach that point im not sure if you can ever fully recover. being a troll has given me happiness but it came with a price and im pretty sure I can never go back to the girl who wanted a normal basic socially-approved of life that i used to be

Turncoat said: 

I still think "Sam" is more of an idea or symbol you've lumped a lot of baggage into instead of a real person to you. 

 sam is exactly what i said he was to me

aubrieta said: 

Turncoat said: 

aubrieta said: 

Turncoat said: 

aubrieta said: 

TC jealous no one stalks him lol, its okay youll live bb:)

I've had two stalkers. 

Edit: Actually, four if internet stalking counts, otherwise three that I know of. 

 oh im sure, gangstalking right:p

One was my rapist who went about sabotaging any situation she saw as someone showing potential interest in me for the first two years of college. She didn't... start by doing the more extreme stuff, she became that as time went on and life shat on her one too many times. I was on constant debrief duty over her trying to make my friends stop being around me as much so that she could find it easier to be alone with me, and by the time she was nuts enough to act on her impulses fully she was on a mess of pills, wasn't sleeping anymore, and was progressively more off her rocker. 

Another was a frienemy who followed my from high school to college while trying to date anyone I found interest in and otherwise wanted to try to get me out of any social circles I found myself in by shit-talking me a ton behind my back (people loved to tell me about his bitch fests or sent me IM records about it to laugh at). He otherwise followed me and people he had crushes on at a distance on and off for years as a lack of confidence issue, and at one point I had to even help someone he was following hide by saying I "hadn't seen her", once he came in all room-scan-y and sweaty from the pursuit. 

Another was another schizophrenic who knew a little too much about me and left me weird letters in the beginning of knowing me for a few years. She also followed me from my high school to the same college like the aforementioned frienemy, trying to keep tabs on me and otherwise acting strangely towards me primarily when she and I weren't really on good terms. When both her and I were in low points and I saw she was a very bottled sadist... we ended up dating years later, but it began as something weirder. 

Internet stalking solely barely counts imo, all it really does is prove that someone out there is a little too willing to dig through your past, so hence "if that counts". 

 ive literally only seen like 1/4 of sams content lol. im trolling him cuz hes a troll and a clever one so it gives me a challenge

 ^

what Sam is to me - " ive literally only seen like 1/4 of sams content lol. im trolling him cuz hes a troll and a clever one so it gives me a challenge. 

sam and i are trolls from opposite sides of the spectrum(of most spectrums), so its funny and interesting to me "

I dont really have baggage TC, ive surpassed all that shit. im an enlightened troll being now and any baggage i have is permanent. ive worked through all the issues i could potentially work through while still remaining a troll and im going to remain a troll, because im addicted to it and it makes me happy

i do sometimes feel positive/sexual/romantic/passionate feelings for my troll victims, but its all fake and im ok with it being fake. and if a troll victim enjoys being trolled, and feels the same happy positive feelings back towards me, well its a form of love i guess lol. love comes in many different forms. but its not normal love/obsession, its set apart and i do think the distinction deserves to be clarified. at least i feel the need to clarify it its something important to me apparently

I dont like my warped version of troll love to be compared to normal plebian versions of love basically, because they are seperate in my opinion

also, most importantly, being a troll gives me freedom and whenever someone tries to pin me down into normal human friendships/relationships/love connections I immediately have to try to escape it as an impulse, because its taking away my freedom and I value my freedom very much