The SC Show:
The Shooting
It was near the end of the day at Sociopath High. Everything seemed to be going as normal. Well, as normal as things could be there. But there was a problem- Luna Prey had been ousted from her position of principal and she was furious! Desperate for attention and admiration, she intended to come and take back her position…. Via the barrel of a gun.
Meanwhile in history class, an argumentative student debates with his teacher….
Inquirer: Today I was supposed to teach you the history of Sweden, but, it being a white country and therefore lacking of culture, I am going to ask you to rip your textbook up and watch this presentation by CNN about the horrors refugees go through.
Bohemian: You'd just rather have your country invaded from within and your women raped.
Inquirer: Nonsense, you really are ignorant of Europe in every way possible.
Bohemian: Whatever, America is better anyway. I got to go, I have a date with destiny. Rhapsody, OUT!
Bohemian exits the room and Inquirer gives his students a dose of empathy until Luna kicks in the door with an AR-15.
Luna: Time to die, you traitor!
Inquirer: This is why we need common sense gun reform.
Luna: Reform this!
Inquirer: You Americans are so unci- AH!
Inquirer dies as Luna opens fire on everybody in the room.
Luna moves on to the next room- biology class!
Delora: Today we will be learning about the capybara, a rodent that is related to the guinea pig and looks much like it!
Student: Another rat?! Will we ever learn about anything else?
Delora: The capybara is the world's largest rodent, and is far more intelligent than its cousin the guinea pig which is the dumbest mammal on earth despite it's adorable loveableness.
Suddenly, shots ring out and Delora's class pet capybara gets startled and rushes at Luna (who thinks it is a dog) and bites her. This distracts her, and when she turns around Delora and the students had escaped. The enraged women retaliates against the capybara by blowing its face off. Next, Luna marches to her next target- Jim class.
Coach Jim: It is now time for all of you to change out of your clothes and into your leotards and skirts!
The boys change their clothes while coach Jim waits in anticipation.
Coach Jim: Alright twinks! It's time for cheerleading! Bend over and shake those pom poms like you mean it!
The boys begin their cheerleading rehearsal. Meanwhile, janitor Cawk peaks through the Jim doors, enjoying the show. His depraved satisfaction is ruined when Luna shoots him down from behind, and beholds the Jim.
Luna: Eh, I'll just let him get away with this like I always do.
But not so fast! Just as Luna walks away Quintasia leaps out from behind the bleachers, cuts her stomach open, and pulls out a fetus with the umbilical cord attached. She uses it to swing from the rafters out the window as she tosses a grenade down to Jim.
Coach Jim: YOU FUCKING BITCH!
The grenade blasts Jim's twinks to bits and Quintasia flees. Jim decides to end it all and hangs himself from the umbilical cord.
Meanwhile, tensions are running high in math class….
Alice: I want you brats to use the cross sectional area to integrate for an equation that gives the volume of my beer bottle.
TPG: PICK ME ALICE, I KNOW THE ANSWER PLEASE ALICE PICK ME!
Palepeach: Enough to get you drunk babe.
Xadem: KEK. I have to take a shit.
Xadem goes to defecate and Alice winks at Palepeach as TPG goes manic, pulls cans of spam out of his lunchbox, and stacks then on Alice's desk.
TPG: LOOK ALICE I BROUGHT SPAM PLEASE FUCKING LISTEN TO MY ANSWER PLEASE JUST FIVE MINUTES TO EXPLAIN I'M BEGGING YOU.
Suddenly Luna begins shooting up the room and TPG uses Palepeach as a human shield.
TPG: RUN ALICE RUN!
TPG and Palepeach valiantly die for his sacrifice and Alice gets away. Luna then goes for the last classroom; the psychology room.
Turncoat: Lena, I would like you to come to the front of the class for today's presentation.
Lena shrugs and goes to the front of the room.
Turncoat: Today's class will be on the subject of borderline personality disorder. For today's exercise, I want you to make a table of the BPD symptom criteria and a way Lena displayed each symptom.
Lena: When are you going to teach about comorbid schizophrenia with gender dysphoria?
Turncoat: When you admit you are a horrible person.
Lena: I am a horrible person.
Luna: AHAHAHAHA, SO AM I!
Luna shoots Lena and turns to Turncoat, but all of a sudden…
Blanc: I CAME TO THIS CLASS TO TELL YOU ALL THAT I AM GAY!!!!!
Turncoat: Actually you're no-
Blanc leaps into the air and stabs Luna with a pencil in the pussy, sacrificing her life and allowing Turncoat to escape. Luna is almost to her main target- Principal Good. But first, she had to get to the guidance office….
Tony: I am the guidance counselor. Please tell me your problem and I will give you life changing advice.
Primal: I am being stalked, harassed, and threatened by none other than Taylor Swift.
Tony looks inquisitively and picks up a picture of his ex wife. A single tear rolls down his eye. He slams down the photograph.
Tony: Here's the thing. Women, you cannot trust these bitches. They will ruin you and cheat, and you need to accept this fact and have a spatial mind. Try investing in crypto, do your own thing, assess your gains, and forget about them.
All of a sudden Luna kicks down the door and walks in. Primal notices the mask with the blonde hair.
Primal: SHIT! IT'S TAYLOR! WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE TONY
Primal uses Taiwanese martial arts to grab Tony and backflip out the window, firing off an uzi from her jacket as she goes. The bullets speed towards Luna's face BUT….
Edvard: NO, MY QUEEN!
Edvard leaps in front of the bullets and sacrifices himself for his matriarch. Luna marches into the Principal's office and confronts her nemesis….
Luna: Good! You stole my position, you incompetent asshole.
Good: You stole it from yourself, did you forget?
Luna: No! It isn't true, it is NOT!
Good: You expelled every student you did not like because they criticized your failing curriculum and then you resigned.
Luna: HERESY! I'LL MAKE YOU EAT YOUR WORDS!
Luna opens fire at Good but the bullets bounce off of him and he begins to emit a yellow glow before shooting into the sky through the ceiling.
Luna: NOOOOOOO!!!!
Luna sighs and begins to walk towards the front door to give up, when she hears a single voice from the auditorium. It's BohemianRhapsody! And he's performing his play aptly known Rhapsoliliquoy, as nobody is in the audience.
Bohemian: And I decree, that no man is quite as great as meeee!
Oh, hi Luna! You don't have to say it, you came to see me because you are my biggest fan.
Luna rolls her eyes and shoots Bohemian in the heart. Bohemian gasps and goes on a speech.
Bohemian: I am hurt.
A plague o' both your houses! I am sped. You will all someday feel the wrath of the Rhapsody!
Bohemian dies, and Luna goes to take a piss. There are three bathrooms- boys, girls, and Turncoat. Luna goes into the latter to find Turquie sucking off Tryptamine through a glory holes. Luna shoots them both down. In an adjacent stall, Xadem preps a massive shit while being sucked off by Scarlett (who is nodding off) but notices the shots. Xadem leaps in top of the stall and spots Luna. She shoots, but he catches the bullet between his ass.
Xadem: Not so fast, WHORE! It's time you face my ARSE-enal!!
Xadem unleashes a tidal wave of shit on Luna, burying and suffocating her.
Xadem: THE WHORE OF BABYLON IS YET AGAIN SLAIN!
Scarlett: Shame, she was kind of hot. Sloopity doop.
Xadem: THOT!
Xadem pimp slaps Scarlett.
THE END
My grandiose delusions are better than yours.
