Something in or around you needs to change.Both.
I'm surrounded by negative people and burning on diesel fuel.
The reason stopping me from seeking change is that I feel "guilty" in the Christian sense. I have weak people in the literal sense relying on me and the weight of the responsibility is what is stopping me from seeking real change.
Its trying to force change around me that's burning my energy.
The University again I presume.
What you do for a living off campus. Your rank and status. The weak ones are the same as the others. the ones who want to either be you in a sense, OR, replace you will come at you from many angles, but you're talking about the weak ones.
Look at it this way.
As I mentioned your status in the last paragraph you really gotta think. Those people you're carrying.... What makes them so special that they have to burden you while the vast majority you've dealt with, is dealing with, and will be dealing with in the future won't ?
Not sure if I said that correctly, don't feel right writng.
Or, you ask them that question ? Or you can simply tell them how you seriously can't offer special treatment for them, cause.... Then truth bomb. Say it's toxic.
.
First though. You need to stop trusting them. Guy If the negativity is chipping away at you, and you know what it's that makes you uncomfortable and you do. AND... If you aren't obliged to carry on with the special assistance but do so out of guilt....
Misalignment. The weak ones before you, ARE the ones using you. When was the last time you ever said no to them ?
And do go deep with that word. Misalignment. Look up it's meaning, find examples, and go deep on word while focusing on the same shit thats pressing you.
Cut fuckers off especially the ones you'd like to be fond of you, cause they're the ones taking advantage of your kindness. You're too nice then they treat you like a pushover, and, get this, they literally know they're keeping you bound, and yes they do it on purpose.
Why you ? It's not who you are, but more, what you are. The gatekeeper. The grader. You could be the easy way and if you're too buddy buddy. They will keep asking for more and more. Tell bitch you have no time. And seriously you shouldn't have time for that, as it WILL impact your work.
They're motivated by their state of being where they feel the need to bring others down to match their own frequency.That's a good summary. Its all about refusal to celebrate people's successes due to their own shortcomings.
Refusal to celebrate people's success. That's fine. Never expect or look forward to anyone doing that. Especially someone who irritates you.
I don't want to use the famous quote about misery, but it applies to them. If they can hurt you, the'll feel better, and it's true. The low blows, malicious attacks. Stuff like that backfires on it's own. It's your choice to feed a vampire, and when you do, just make it clear that you are feeding them. Give yourself a little nick and offer them "A little bit of blood". They lick it up then starve them cause you do mind when they eat you at will.
It's easy once you've done it before. It's all a matter of understanding why they do it, which I mentioned, and it really doesn't have anything to do with you. They're going to do it anyway so it's really nothing personal.I made a post about this a long time ago on Robert's forum about how understanding someone is the prerequisite to forgiveness.
When you forgive toxic people, do it quietly without a word. What matters is releasing the weight of them. No confrontation or closure. We're talking about people taking advantage of your kindness and willingness to help. But if it's chipping away at you, then you've done more than they should ever ask of you. Set boundaries.
People who test your limits and act oblivious toward it know what they're doing, and they will NEVER respect you unless you set boundaries. Then if they want to get at you, they'll have to do things your way, and IF they're burning, it's not up to you to just give them a pass. Yes universities want nothing but success stories, but damn, I think there are enough of the wrong people in important positions.
Theres not just the understanding of the negative person though. Our brains are wired based on our interactions. When spending time wiring your brain for positive interactions, its easier to think of wholesome things and to see the light in your surroundings. Vice versa if your day is shaped around negative interactions most actions get tied to negative connotations and thoughts. Its also about the diet our brain gets. That's why Ive always been a believer in positive thoughts and attitude.
The wiring, true. I don't ignore the fact that I do feel the bad intentions, but I also understand, I NEED to feel it, and it's only a sample. WHen you feel you think twice. Step back, and you'll cook.
People who are happy in life don't run around looking to stir shit. So yes they are empty of something good, to say the least while having no shortage of negativity. When those types come at you, it's because they want some form of control, but in truth your feedback matters enough to them so they can manage their mood. Eventually they start to starve when you don't give them what they want. Sometimes they melt down or fade away. What remains isn't all that different than before. You're a better contributor, more liked and appreciated, while the aggressor goes down and takes those attached to them with them.
Everything you need is already set in stone.So disconnect selectively. Maybe I need to be more mindful of that.
Disconnect openly. When we're all covert about stuff, it's really not a matter of preference.
Imagine being a teen again and you have this girlfriend. Hormones kicking, getting laid means everything to a young man okay. Can't get enough of being together, but say, he parents do their darndest to keep you separated. So what's better ? Walking through the front door, or slipping through the window ? That's just 1 example, but back to disconnecting openly and in secret.
If you disconnect in secret, you'll only get more annoyed.
The toxic bitches don't reciprocate and the way they play, it's by design. I already know if I asked you if that person or people come across as immature, you'll say yes. If they start with the cuteness and if it has some kind of pull, something is wrong.
Tell them. I have to teach, I have to grade for a fuck ton of people. I also have to work over there, and research my ass off. People depend of me, and there a lot of you with more to come, I really need to shave off the fat. No more favours and shit and I need to set focus on those who impress me, cause they are the ones we're looking for. Mental health depends on it.
Do not be too dramatic. And don't say this unless you mean business.
whatever you do,
ignore tony.
because his main goal is to feel important and smart.
he’s using you to feel relevant.
he doesn’t actually care about you.
Not really.
In my opinion setting a goal to be smart and important are a good thing. I actually think I am.
Do I actually care about Legga or anyone here ? I don't come here for anyone in particular.
Pretty sure if we gathered all I ever said to Legga, it would be a long series with many seasons.
It would be pretty mean to start bringing up people I basically never speak to, but Legga isn't one of those. And yes I can be aggressive toward Legga's ideology and outlooks. This time I'm telling him not to trust people. That includes a few people here.