Sociopath Community

ooh my god I probably have autism,  because why would I say that neurotypical people have autism that seems like projecting aand what I really meant was comparitively less general intelligence,  but different people can do well at different types of intelligences,  and I see neurotypical people as stupid and the term "autism" reminds me of slowness and retardation in my mind,  aand soo by referring to nerotypical people as "more autistic than I probably am" I am pretty sure that I meant like stupid  I feel soo embarassed  Idk why but I find it really difficult to think of myself as autistic because that label feels embarassing to myself  but like I don't want to think like neurotupical people because I think of them as more stupid than I am-  but I do not think of psychoanalysts as dumb,  but most neurotypical people do not try to think like psychoanalysts do they ??  soo are psychoanalysts and people interested in that field neurotypical ??  I am feeling unsure about that.  whatever,  It is just a label anyway,  obviously evolution is favoring autism during this time period because soo many of the younger generations are being diagnosed with that  (but if you look at that from the flip side.... like I normally do I would see that as a response to severe psychological trauma and a form of self protection,  which seems not good,  but what is really not "good" is the psychological trauma and stress,  although good and bad are subjective and regardless everyone still has to deal with that psychological trauma and stress and try to figure out how to respond to that-  and seemingly a lot of people in the younger generations including my own generation are choosing-   ....autism ??)  please respond to this because I feel embarassed talking about this and I want to know if this line of thinking seems practical orr reasonable or whatever  do I sound retarded  fuck yeah I am really going through psychological crap right now,  but I am integrating successfully because I am actually able to contemplate this stuff and accept understanding about myself that feels uncomfortable and yucky without like freezing up and running away psychologically-  at least not umm,  completely,  but yeah I feel anxious about saying embarassing stuff sometimes

just joking

just joking

18:13 She: I mean like I have had passing thoughts in the past of like "oh maybe I have autism, but I can relate to like all psychiatric disorders in various ways sometimes soo like whatever" but I feel like I am finally realizing
18:14 She: that having autism might be why I struggle in certain areas in my life- liike, for example hmm, not even wanting friends or a romantic partner because I prefer being on my own or living with my mother ;p;p
18:16 She: umm, fuck. I feel soo mean because, I think subconsciously I was siding with the neurotypical perception of autistic people for a loong time, soo much so that I could not even admit to myself that autism might be a major influence in not
18:17 She: "having a normal life" or whatever, especially not a normal social life aand like, even my struggles with day to day functioning. but **I do** think that I am intelligent and even more intelligent than neurotypical people psychologically
18:18 She: like as in what I choose to prioritize in my life- that is studying psychology and psychoanalysis and empathy and psychological integration
18:19 She: because why waste time trying to find satisfaction outside of yourself if perhaps you can find that internally ?? **but**, there are many, many highly intelligent people that supposedly have autism, soo- like geniuses and stuff-
18:21 She: aand yeah, various levels of functioning, soo many I have low functioning autism but I do not have like "down syndrome" Lmfao, and I am recovering and healing from my personality disorder, but a lot of people with high functioning autism
18:22 She: seem to have personality disorders, like very persistant peesonality disorders- I mean fuck, aspergers sydrome used to be labelled "autistic psychopathy" and I think that narcissism is stupid
18:23 She: soo even though I might be a "low functioning" autistic person, I feel more intelligent than high functioning autistic people Lmfaoo because I am actually making major progress in healing from having a personality disorder (rooted in narcisism)
18:24 She: aand I see psychopathy and sociopathy and borderline pd and pretty much any personality disorder as rooted in narcissisim or caused by narcissism or whatever- but borderline pd seems to have more empathy for sure aand that is what I used to be diagnosed with
18:25 She: and the personality disorder that I am successfully recovering from (although slowly as fuck recovering for my preferences)
18:26 She: but even if I recover all the way from borderline personality disorder, what if I am still autistic and low functioning because of that for the rest of my life ?? like at least I will probably feel more comfortable and at peace within myself if I recover
18:27 She: all the way from borderline personality disorder though, even if I still struggle with autism but, buttttttttttttttttt what if autism can also be integrated and transformed into a more healthy way of thinking and then **I** myself became
18:28 She: more "neurotypical" which I used to think of as stupid Lmfaoo 😭😭 but I do not think that I will ever "be neurotypical" and I really, really do not want to be to be honest
18:30 She: soo it comes down to like, someone I respect as intelligent, that being Jung and freud too and just like psychoanalytic people in general- does orr did Jung have autism ?? because neurotypical people do not think psychoanalytically, do they ??
18:31 She: at least not like, the majority of neurotypical people. aand I would not mind being neurotypical if that meant like being like jung, but I would fucking hate myself soo much if I became like a social media influencer or some dumb shit because I have
18:31 She: like noo respect for them Lmfaoo 🤭🤭😭😭
18:32 She: like I think that people soo addicted to social media that they live vicariously through their profiles and uploading videos of themselves about every single little stupid thing are dumb and narcissistic as fuck Lmfaoo
18:33 She: like I am pretty sure that neurotypical people struggle with more narcissism than I have ever had, even when my borderline personality disorder symptoms were at their "peak"
18:34 She: soo what the fuck

18:52 She: dumb and narcissistic as fuck as in, specifically, trying to receive all of their internal validation and "self worth" through **other peoples'** opinions of them, rather than searching for all of that within their own selves instead
18:53 She: self worth, through**
18:54 She: because what is "trending" is always fucking changing and for the most part the trends are vapid and superficial and not consistent soo people are not even working towards a stable sense of self confidence and they are becoming sicker
18:56 She: trying to chase online validation **especially now** because now they are competing with artificial intelligence versions of people as in completely fake people that are being used for marketing now Lmfaoooooooo tragically funny as fuck

just joking

just joking