I tried looking at suggested accounts on Facebook. I’m concerned because I think most people are “ugly”. One or two exceptional attractive people and a sea of ugly. I’m concerned I’m single and —- I know what I like certain brand of preppy maybe in the South idk. Not necessarily preppy clothes but athletic. And then there’s always the danger that I find someone based on looks and it’s not really what I want. I’m scared I don’t even know what I want anymore and that’s not good.
I was uprooted from my home five years ago and this state —this place— seems so foreign to me. I believe everyone summers and snowbirds and you just don’t see the wealth where are they, they hide out. I’m riding on the top. $3000 a month on Ubers it’s unreal. I probably have an unrealistic account of my relative attractiveness. How’s this for neuroses. I used to be more attractive. In 2017 I was a fox. Everybody gets older. I saw something today maintaining your appearance draws wealth to you. This is called stream-of-consciousness writing. Deal [with it]
I think I’m cracking. Nobody publish me. Nobody steal my work anymore. I wrote lyrics and gave them to a guy and he became a famous musician and he never credited me. It still hurts. My work is out there. You can’t sue everybody. I don’t want to say anymore. I don’t want to be anymore. I just want to flit gad about and focus on my appearance.
My apartment has a video intercom. I commonly cite this as the best thing about it but otherwise it’s shit. I’m having really bad TMJ. At least I think it’s TMJ. I don’t have bruxism. That means you grind your teeth, you know. What I really wanted to say next I couldn’t because it would be self-identifying. I mean self-fulfilling. I had the wrong idea about Facebook when I started out. I need more occasions to take photos.
