Sociopath Community

I feel like calling it unconditional is naive and childish. 

If it were unconditional they could literally do anything. 

Turncoat said: 

I feel like calling it unconditional is naive and childish. 

If it were unconditional they could literally do anything. 

 they can

What about if you came home from work and started punching them in the face and screaming at them? How many moons would go by before it eventually makes them break? Actually some women put up with it a long time.

But the point is this: there SHOULD be conditions, which you establish early on based upon boundaries and stuff. The concept of unconditional love is silly when drawn to its logical extremes. But at the same time I understand why people need people who are not going to flake out or go sideways if some events go wrong. It's about a willingness to mutually weather the storm. And it can be a very difficult quality to find.

Tryptamine said: 

What about if you came home from work and started punching them in the face and screaming at them? How many moons would go by before it eventually makes them break? Actually some women put up with it a long time.

At that point the one who loves will simply wish things were different.

But the point is this: there SHOULD be conditions, which you establish early on based upon boundaries and stuff. The concept of unconditional love is silly when drawn to its logical extremes. But at the same time I understand why people need people who are not going to flake out or go sideways if some events go wrong. It's about a willingness to mutually weather the storm. And it can be a very difficult quality to find.

 Setting boundaries is a thing, but it will never determine how much the one who loves thinks about the one they love. 

Loving unconditionally also involves acceptance of one sided relations. That is, unreciprocated love. This doesn't mean being defaulted to tolerating abuse for long while for others it probably does. It comes down to how wise the subject is.  

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I understand people who never experienced this will think it's all fictional.

Some say God, some say Nature or the Universe. What's clear is love is the foundation that got us here in the first place. Yes some of you are fucked up cause you were probably neglected as a child, but you're not the ones keeps things stable, or a shining example of humanity's future either.  Even though we work for money, our output is that of a civilization that takes care of one another, as it's the stranger who keeps your meters running and built all of these structures. A force opposite of love wouldn't get us here. 

Nothing found in nature goes soft, all things goes hard. Pain for example in my opinion is too much and should have it's limits, and it probably does, just not to a person's preference.

When it comes to unconditional love, it really doesn't go away, as mentioned they can do horrible things. Over the top horrible things, and still. 

Beware of having a narrow mind and thinking the caregiver is bound to being nice and scripted, and be all kissy face and dumb while the loved one is despicable. 

Some of you might recall how I take pride being able to cut loose people I love. It's not a nice or desirable thing to do, but we gain wisdom. For example look at Med. Don't know what she's doing now but she did herself a great disservice for not letting go of Chapo. 

With wisdom ( which many here lack) it isn't so painful to do the right thing and be fine with it. They're fucked up and a disappointment yes, do what's best. We can go years without seeing them, then decades later on our deathbed they'll certainly be in our thoughts regardless if we had to ditch them or not. 

Maninist said: 

Tryptamine said: 

What about if you came home from work and started punching them in the face and screaming at them? How many moons would go by before it eventually makes them break? Actually some women put up with it a long time.

At that point the one who loves will simply wish things were different.

That's some Stockholm Syndrome type shit, far from healthy. 

Well from a cost-benefit perspective, is an unrequited love really worth putting up with? I don't think anyone should need to tolerate that. 

But if both people go in with good intentions and an agreement to stay together, that's a good thing, I think. It's something close to unconditional love. It's an agreement to be communicative, and with the best mutual interests in mind. Something which has to be cultivated, which you see in most very long-term marriages.

Otherwise one party will decide to do whatever is better for themselves...which actually is rational.

Tryptamine said: 

Well from a cost-benefit perspective, is an unrequited love really worth putting up with? I don't think anyone should need to tolerate that. 

Yes and no.

For awhile yes, but eventually no.

It's a hard lesson well learned and very transformative in ways that manifest the best version of oneself.

But if both people go in with good intentions and an agreement to stay together, that's a good thing, I think. It's something close to unconditional love. It's an agreement to be communicative, and with the best mutual interests in mind. Something which has to be cultivated, which you see in most very long-term marriages.

Otherwise one party will decide to do whatever is better for themselves...which actually is rational.

 All it takes is some form of rejection, then some inexperienced observers will deem the caregiver to be mentally ill, but yes, it would be wonderful for both parties if only 1 of them loved unconditionally in a partnership. With that it could last a lifetime. 

In the case of being a caregiver in a relationship with the cared for. Sex would be good, but if not made good. Things like porn goes out the window, no secrets. Cuddling alone will be satisfactory in some cases. The caregiver will be able to do anything. Especially if the precious beloved asks, complains  or makes demands. Caregiver will bring home kills the size of whales, build incredible living spaces and a family with many friends. The offspring will know their parents to be the top of their side of the family, while holidays will be expected to be held in the estate for extended family and friends and friends of the family, and the childrens classmates from kindergarten to adulthood. The children will be cool from growing up around this amazing energy, and success will follow them.

I know a family like that. The parents must be in their late 80's and they still celebrate with anniversary parties.

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When these two don't end up in a relationship. What happens might be funny to some. None of the potentials come about. There's a strong sense of God's disappointment.

Unconditional love is a phenomenon more complex than the infatuation it appears to be at surface level. 

As mentioned. Unconditional love is ONLY realized in toxic relationships. That being the cared for will be toxic, case after case. For a time someone will come in and love them unlike any other for awhile. The toxic one must change, or the love will be gone one way or another. When this type of connection fails, the toxic one will certainly be unhappy in any and all of their relationships. The one who loves unconditionally will carry a cross if they're schupid, like Med was with Chapo. If they're wise they simply understand, and appreciate the toxic one differently, as a concept while knowing their worth and what they're really capable of with less motivation. Some will call this bullshit, while toxic doesn't yield good, while good yields good. 

Please cease obsessing over Med, Chapo

Strangersoninternet said: 

Please cease obsessing over Med, Chapo