Sociopath Community

Chat Log said:

Kestrel: i never told you what you should or shouldnt be doing
Kestrel: just my view on it
Kestrel: that's where you are wrong
bongripper420: you suggested i should seek help
bongripper420: you repeated yourself a lot
bongripper420: you obviously felt the need to change my mind
bongripper420: lol
Kestrel: nah, just defend my stance
bongripper420: thanks for looking out for me boo <3
bongripper420: yeah you feel a strong need to defend yourself
bongripper420: you're definitely the type of guy to compensate a lot lol
bongripper420: but that's ok ;)

So, scale of 1 to 10 with reasons following, how degenerate do you think spitting is? 

Otherwise, thoughts on mental illness in relation to kinks? 

I mean there are worst things than spitting and it's not really degenerate so a 0.

Theres not a whole lot of research on the matter bu generally proper bdsm isnt a cope for those that were abused.

I'd put spitting at a 2. Fundamentally spit itself is accomplishing something similar to licking but at a distance, but for some reason there's people who get unusually triggered by the gesture. 

I definitely see an increased correlation between mental illness and kinks, but not in the matter of the behaviors themselves being a direct reflection of them. Sex in general relieves stress, working as a very physically healthy outlet, but for those with higher baselines of stress it may not be enough for them. Those with mental disorders tend to have issues with regulating stress paired with life difficulties in general, so it makes sense that their sexual appetites are liable to be more bottled up through stress than it would be for someone who has less overt mental issues. Kinks also lets you push those needs further than just pummeling a woman with one's cock, which for myself for instance is not typically enough by itself in lieu of an overall more built up, suspense, and sensory-extreme driven time otherwise. 

Those that get into the more physical kinks tend to be higher energy people, while the more mental kinks like domming vs subbing or even calling someone "daddy" can reflect instead unfulfilled outlets inherent within the person more than their experiences. To ask that these people drop their sexual preferences though is to ask them to not reach sexual fulfillment, and "therapy" as a cure tends to keep the kinks even when the issues themselves are no longer a problem. 

Kink can also help for letting go, overall increasing the pleasure of the experience otherwise. It can be hard to open one's mind to pleasure and let go of one's inhibitions, and those extra steps are often a pathway found to accomplish it. Where it can get really wiggy are specifically formed associations, like sock fetishism.

That being said, I would say that Kink itself is not a reflection of mental illness unless you broaden it across most everyone. A vanilla fucker is not a sign of sanity, there's plenty of messed up people who prefer vanilla just how there's plenty of otherwise seemingly functional people who have some deeply nestled requirements for pleasure otherwise. 

In a setting where you've both discussed and agreed to what you like, I see spitting as a zero, its completely different if you're trying to degrade someone with spit.

Proper BDSM is also about consent and aftercare

Lena said: 

In a setting where you've both discussed and agreed to what you like, I see spitting as a zero, its completely different if you're trying to degrade someone with spit.

Someone could easily argue that that's responsibly handled degeneracy, which still has it seen as degeneracy all the same. 

It could also be mutually agreed on degradation, and likely often is if it's not specifically a slobber fetish. 

Proper BDSM is also about consent and aftercare

BDSM is the practice while kinks are the preferences that BDSM tries to handle responsibly. Kinks don't technically have to be proper... 

...but the responsible ones tend to make contracts to make it okay, like agreeing on a CNC. 

3. The act itself isn't much, but there's definitely some degeneracy involved in wanting to get degraded, dominated, maybe even humiliated?

Tryptamine said: 

3. The act itself isn't much, but there's definitely some degeneracy involved in: 

wanting to get degraded,

Yes, of a varying scale. There's some who like feeling challenged and can find it motivating, especially if their dynamic is to degrade each other into lust through the heat of challenge. 

Joss Whedon demonstrates this dynamic in Buffy the Vampire Slayer with Xander and Cordelia without making it seem particularly deviant. I personally find that degradation done within acceptable limits comes off more like roasting, and at the areas bordering the line it's kinda intimate. 

dominated,

I actually think this one's closer to normal, but otherwise exaggerated through our culture and media largely. There is comfort in feeling like another's handling things for you and through you, one that can absolve one of as strong of a sense of personal responsibility. 

It's definitely a gateway for some darker shit, but by itself it's mostly just power dynamics handled more literally. 

maybe even humiliated?

For some, the experience of humiliation is like a roller coaster. While they may not enjoy it outside of the bedroom, inside can allow it an outlet without the exhibitionist aspects of it. 

Exhibitionism meanwhile can also itself be an expression of lust from embarrassment, among the many other motivations that could push for it. 

Is lust from embarrassment particularly strange? Lust in general can connect to pretty much any extreme emotion. 

I don't think it's strange, it seems like any emotion is capable of becoming associated with sexuality. People even find gratification in things that would even normally be negative stimuli, but you already know that. I agree with you about dominance...it seems "possession" is even a biological thing. The other stuff you mentioned, such as exhibition, seem almost a pure mental thing that got associated with the drive to reproduce. I feel like there's a real lack of research or insight into these things, but maybe I just have't stumbled upon it. For something so prevalent in our lives, there seems to be a real lack of psychology on sex.

poor kestrel didnt realize that guy jerked off to the whole conversation