04:53 Delora: I haven't slept in days
I wish I could offer you pro bono medical appointments to help your brain/body heal. I am sorry you are unwell lately, hugs.
If you have a psych, they should find you something that can help you sleep. I don't know how you feel about meds, but there are alternative routes if you don't want to take them.
If you do like meds, I have heard trazadone works great for sleep, iamotrogen is a great mood stabilizer if you're dealing with, too much going on mentally it can help clear and smooth out your mind a bit, however i do understand it seems your case is a bit complicated and does involve periods of psychosis? so obviously don't take these medications without seeing a practitioner and having the proper regiment prescribed to you.
I highly recommend you look into cleation therapy, maybe ask a social worker if they can connect you to any sort of care that would be at least close to this. As what you described (having heavy metals in the brain) can be absolved with these treatments, and perhaps there is a possibility you can receive this care by crowd sourcing on gofundme, tell your story. People really do need to write off a certain amount of tax dollars, and they go on gofundme to do it, so they can give to causes that are very specific rather than in the hands of possibly corrupt or ill-intentioned 'non-profit charities'
I'm sorry you're feeling suicidal, I went to... a place for mental health that was just like an out patient program, perhaps seeking something like this could be good, under certain insurances there are some that are available i think if you contact mental health america's out reach people they'll put you in contact with people who work to connect people with the level of care they need (regardless of insurance/financial ability/etc). I know of places personally that are completely pro-bono, free to stay, one is run by a catholic charity. But it is a place for people suffering with severe mental illness, addiction, etc, to rest and recover and pursue treatment and therapies- it's very nice and it's right here in Florida, you need no insurance to be accepted and I think they would accept your case. I think they have farming and horse therapy and things like that, they're understanding of disabilities and special needs, autism, things like this. There's programs all over designed to help people going through what you are- and there's people who's full time job it is to help connect people to the place that is right for them at this time and can help them where they are at.
Do you have a social worker and a health advocate? Are you on disability? (don't have to answer any of this publicly as i understand this is your private info, but, if you want further help or need to talk, have any questions, feel free to reach me anytime blanc#1758 on discord. just have to add me as a friend first to chat.)
Well wishes Delora