caught a ride in the back of a small scale garbage truck on the way home. thank god himself for his mercy on me despite all the blessings in my life that i did not have to walk home in the scary dark! <3
because of the mercy of god i did not have to desecrate shabbat tonight!
Tip toe, around the trash try not to make a sound
Your not here. Your not here. Your not here
If you cry cry quietly or they make you cry harder
They won't hear, they won't hear, they won't hear.
This cannot be the end.
I wanted a family
I waited and I waited for a family.
But I grew up without one
No don't let me grow up
Take me back in time
It can't be to late
It can't be to late right!
Please give me another chance
Please God take me back and let me be with the family I used to fantasize about
Please
There's a hole in my soul and it won't go away
Please God please just please it can't be to late
It's not to late
Please God please help me god please it can't be to late to have that right?
Why did you create me to need something and then deny me of it?
I don't understand. Please. Please don't let me turn 25 without that
Please God please
I'm giving you one final prayer
It's the same prayer, it's me, the little girl from the closet long ago.
When she was beaten with hangers did you hear her? When she was bleeding did you hear her? When she was strangled by the neck and thrown across the room as a toddler did you hear her? Told she was fat and retarded by that woman who was meant to love her? Always told she was unlikely to amount to anything. Beaten with a switch all over her naked body. Slapped in the face and forced to stand still and slapped in the face again if she flinched. Always being assumed to have the worst intentions. Not allowed to ever speak her mind. Told that it would be better if she were never born. Told straight That she should have an adopted child take her place because she isn't good enough.All the abuse. All the fear. All the physical pain. Please God please
That girl that cried out to you hundreds of times from a white, cold, empty underground room with no one and nothing.
The girl that was drugged with spice and other shit over and over.
Please God
Did you hear her?
If you heard her please show me now.
Please show me you heard her.
Please show me you heard me.
Please God please
Please God please God please God I know that there are other people who suffer more than me
But it doesn't erase the pain I'm in I'm sorry god.
I'm asking you one more time please and I hope you really hear me. Show me you heard that girl please?
Please God bring me a family that loves me and believes in me and likes me.
