the cute little demons binded me their hardest and I cannot stop laughing oooooooooooohmygosh ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
k truthfully I noticed that ever since I came out of my trance and after I made the decision that i would try to command the demonic into the light that my energy was heavier and I felt off balance and now even when I am saying prayers in my head the energy is like in unbalanced waves and almost tongue tied in a way
I think that I am not allowed to command demons into love only offer the option but you never know until you try also my ego started acting up as soon as I came out of trance because I was not expecting to confront my worst fears it just happened and then I was like wait I just did what and then my ego sort of took over my ego has really been annoying me lately but anyway you don't know until you try and I am an experimenter if I could make heaven on earth I probably would let's be real if I had it my ego's way this is what would happen because my ego is pissed at the pain and suffering in the world
damnit I really wanted to force them in there I really did and I still do I have had my intention on it since yesterday lol and I was taking time to plan my next trance but I feel binded still soo I know that my strength is compassion and I have known this for a while now but sometimes the ego takes over and feels so compelling
tl;dr I probably cannot command the demonic into the light only offer the option but my ego wants me to try and I am too scared to go back into trance until my ego stops wanting this because my power animal guided me to be respectful of all energies especially during trance but my ego is flipping out because I just confronted my like worst fears yesterday
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2/14/2023 4:35:26 AM
my energy levels have also been bipolar af today I have been getting huge bursts of energy than feeling exhausted then more huge bursts lol why does my ego have to behave so chaotic I have been sending all types of healing loving energy to myself and it still acts like such a spazz
I am going to target healing loving energy specifically to my ego too now
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2/14/2023 4:49:16 AM
am I going to end up getting dismembered by the spirits or decapitated or my skin dissolved off of my skeleton or that other weird shaman stuff too as part of initiation or am I exempt because I am working with unconditional love I personally hope that I am exempt because I am a pacifist
last edit on
2/14/2023 5:01:33 AM