Sociopath Community

Empath said: 

Canary said: 

People do get better, but the problem is, before they realize it, they'll speak their illness back into place.

What I just said, I don't expect just anyone to tske note or understand it to be the case with themselves.

You don't have to be mentally ill to be lazy, but you know that. It does illustrate how intense your shame can be, when you wish you were so fucked up, people will expect less of you.

Without a doubt you care.

I'm not saying you should become inconsiderate or anything, but it'll help if you cared less of what people make of you. If so you might not be motivated, but you'll have an easier time focusing and probably surprise the others, though, wanting to impress could be a part of this thing making you cringe at yourself.

You need to be abused until it's more difficult to break you. Some will think this is foolish, but the ones who stay cool under stress have better mental health. The way is to not take it personal, like it's going to work out for you.

What motivates you ? 

 the first half of what you said I think is true, my insecurity and care for what other people think has sky rocketed in the past year.

I have not felt motivated in 2 years. I'm having a hard time remembering what motivates me.

 I'm not all that motivated myself. One day I was honest with myself and said "I don't want to work".

What sets me apart from the unsuccessful is that I make money. That's all that matters to them and they'll say nothing, if not then there'll be people criticizing us. Other than that I don't consider myself successful, cause I'm not where I want to be as of yet.

I'm happier not working, still I'll have work to do.

Who is giving you a hard time ? Family ?

Empath said: 

this thread was largely posted because I just wanted something to say and I didn't have another place to say and to practice posting my thoughts

I totally understand that.  

Journaling out thoughts and feelings can be a great place to start with stuff like this.

https://instagram.com/complextraumahealing?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= 

This Instagram is great 

Just keep in mind all your experiences that were dysfunctional or traumatic to you whether it be emotional mental or physical etc. These are valid too, not just the really extreme stuff, meaning it is something worth addressing in a trauma recovery serting through a specific treatment modality that’s right for you, under the guise of a professional. 

Theres great self help out there like Pete walkers book on CPTSD from surviving to thriving. The title is cliche but what is offered in the book is well worth the 15 bucks or whatever on Amazon, it can be life changing. 

I work through it slowly with a support group online. If you dig around you can find great resources out there to help yoy and find what’s right for you and what works for you, you have to just keep looking, keep an open mind to various treatment modalities like for example DBT or CBT are really common ones people start with, and an understanding it is a process and this one treatment may help somewhat but might not totally bring it all to close in a quick 2 months, it takes times, trial and error, and trying something else. Address something, then another then another, and you sort of start to sort yourself out. You just have to come to it with a willingness and a total open honesty about all of it, all your thoughts and feelings etc. it’s all important and relevant to the recovery process to be addressed not neglected. 

the worst thing you can do is sweep it under the rug, tell yourself “it’s not that bad” and carry on like nothing happened. The sooner you address things and work at it work at it work it at it a little bit each day, set time aside. 

Also it’s important to just care for yourself and be patient in this process. Understand your limits and when you need to rest etc. 

There are ways to deal with everything you may face that comes up as problematic or a hindrance to your mental health or functioning. There is a way to unburden yourself and to make the large unsolvable problems seem small and insignificant or even no longer relevant to you. Recovery is possible. 

Progress not perfection. 

- 

Also, most people on the internet won’t be as nice as I am right now, and don’t have the same attitude or understanding toward mental health trauma healing therapy topics etc. it’s not anything against them perdonally, it’s just not something everyone really knows about in the same way and everyone’s got their own perspectives and ways of dealing with things or thinning about things. Totally normal. But, for someone who is trying to heal and may be in a fragile state, the internet might not be the healthiest place for a person to recover. 

I guess the closest thing I have to relate is my weird potentially self-destructive urge to just take a bunch of psychedelics and see where it lands me. I don't necessarily care if it turns out good or bad. If bad, I'd probably become more paranoid, more irritable and such than I am now, if good, maybe I'll be a happier person but honestly, I don't even know if it would really change me that much, still would love to do psychedelics though just for the experience.