hes fine how he is, all people are doing is making him "act" more neurotypical, which he will never be and thats who he is and i love who he is how he is NOW. i dont understand why all this pressure needs to be put onto him, why everyone acts like its this awful tragedy that he does not say please and thank you? to who? to the people around him that expect him to think and feel like them. he does not care that he does not say these things or he would say them. or how he does not look people in the eyes, and people act like thats disturbing. maybe he is disturbed that everyne wants to make HIM look into THEIR eyes because thats just not a THING THAT HE WANTS TO DO, AND ITS FUCKING WEIRD THAT PEOPLE TRY TO MAKE HIM DO THIS LITTLE DANCE WHERE HE DOES TRIVIAL SHIT JUST TO PRETEND TO PEOPLE HE IS SOMEONE HES NOT.
aba therapy caused him to start self harming, which has not stopped to this day, and honestly there is no reason to continue. you know why aba is not effective? because he has no desire to use what he learns unless you bribe him. want to know why? because that's not who he is and there's no reason for him to follow your social rules just to make you comfy. you are teaching someone, a skill, that they have NO DESIRE TO LEARN BECAUSE THATS WHO THEY ARE. for example, if i take someone who does not want to learn spanish, and i make them against their will go to spanish class, and i FORCE THEM TO GO THERE, they will NOT learn spanish. no matter how good for them i think it is. want to know why? BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO DESIRE, TO LEARN SPANISH.
YOU CANT FORCE SOMEONE TO LEARN THINGS THEY DO NOT HAVE ANY INITIAL DESIRE TO LEARN WHATSOEVER, AND YOU CANT FORCE THEM TO USE IT. i understand hes "disabled" but DAMB, GIVE HIM SOME BASIC AUTONOMY AND FREE WILL AND STOP MAKING HIM DANCE FOR YOU, JUST SO YOU CAN HAVE HIM PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE HES NOT SO YOU CAN BE COZY. HES THE "DISABLED" ONE, YOU NEED TO BE HELPING HIM FEEL COMFORTABLE AND SAFE, NOT THE OTHER ONE AROUND!
LET MY BROTHER BE HIMSELF AND LOVE HIM FOR WHO HE IS! HE OWES NO ONE ANYTHING! LET HIM FUCKING EXIST AND LEAVE HIM ALONE AND GET THE AIDS AND BEHAVIORAL THERAPISTS OUT OF HIS FUCKING FACE!
he says hello in his own way. he says thank you in his own way. and he loves you for who YOU are why cant you do the same for HIM?
has it ever occured to you that all the time you try to have him pretend to be someone else, teaching him things he already knows and had for years but gives no shits about, that if hes "learning" your language, you should LEARN HIS!?
yeah hes autistic, its a part of WHO HE IS. get over it. now accept that part of him and stfu, or keep trying to bury it under FORCING him to say please and thank you at HIS expense and discomfort just to make YOU happy.
yeah, im autistic like him, at least i was able to grow up and say NO. but hes lower functioning and now hes trapped in this SHIT until i finally get custody of him some day.
he keeps telling you he does not want to do it by saying no and running away, but you want it to be a complete sentence.
you understand what hes saying all the fuck ready NO MEANS NO, does his consent not matter to you? wtf does the MAN needs to do for you? write a novel?
oh, and stop calling him a child, hes a grown man ffs. just because an adult does not fit in your idea of what an adult SHOULD BE IN YOUR MIND, does not make him a child, hes a grown ass man and he deserves RESPECT. he can UNDERSTAND you when you keep calling him a child you know, he DOES NOT LIKE IT.
one day when i get custody of him, i will bring him home, and it will be OUR home where we can be ourselves, as autistic as we fucking want to be, TOGETHER.
STOP THE ABA THERAPY. HE NEVER ASKED TO SIGN UP FOR YOUR LITTLE "ACTING CLASSES" YOU CALL BEHAVIORAL THERAPY. AND SHOWS NO DESIRE TO DO SO. HE IS NOT A CUTE LITTLE MONKEY TO DO TRICKS FOR YOU HE IS A GROWN ASS MAN.
STOP THE ABA THERAPY UNTIL HE SAYS YES WHEN YOU ASK HIM IF HE WANTS IT
I NEVER LIKED IT AND NEITHER DOES HE ITS TORTURE
STOP THE ABA THERAPY
"Autism masking, also known as Autism camouflaging, follows the same lines….. Masking is a word used to describe something seen in many children with ASD - when they learn, practice, and perform certain behaviours and suppress others in order to be more like the people around them."
stop forcing autistic people to mask.
(sources its unhealthy to mask and can even cause life long mental damage)
https://www.healthline.com/health/autism/autism-masking
https://psychcentral.com/autism/autism-masking-why
you may not understand what you are doing to him, what you did to US.
but you should understand no means no.
