but I feel like if I settle for enjoying the simple things in life, that people will see me as simple and stupid and not really capable of anything great and fantastic and praiseworthy :/
They already do, and appreciating life to it's depths is far from simple.
Really though like how is ART simple? You can literally spend all day focusing on anything, even just the bugs in your yard, for life has depths to everything that have further depths to that. The only reason one has to stop exploring is their own impatience, life will always provide something to do if you go out and look for it.
Following this it can become easier to turn Existential, appreciating the connections between everything.should I really just............ accept that and be okay with it ? I need to choose, I need to make a decision if I am willing to give up people thinking that I am anything extraordinary and facing that I am really not is like not the easiest thing to do it feels kind of painful and humiliating and I am really struggling with it
I super need advice on this to be honest, I feel scared
like surrendering to a self-concept of being a person struggling with mental illness and "simple" is not sitting well with me rn and I am actually feeling very disturbed by it, but idk any more practical option rn that would keep me out of delsional-land but I feel so scared of what will happen if I surrender to this self-concept
Whether you do or don't accept this answer, it will follow you for the rest of your life. You might as well come to terms with it so that it doesn't keep surprising you.
If you continue to think there isn't even anything wrong with you then you will continue to be blindsighted by your own behavior.lol did you just say that people already do think of me as "simple and stupid and not really capable of anything great and fantastic and praiseworthy" ? I just want to clarify but it is okay if that is what you meant
To clarify what I mean, yes, but this is based on their perceptions of you from what's been seen thus far. You haven't exactly showcased yourself in a way that makes others optimistic for you, and it's not on them that this is happening.
People don't look at you like you achieved something over how, in their eyes, you haven't, but achievement only means as much as you let it and almost anything can be an achievement, relatively speaking.
but does it make me a "bad person" to be these things ?
There is nothing wrong with not being the best at everything, what matters is the journey.
Self-acceptance is the first step towards self-respect, and people model off of success by gravitating towards those with confidence, but that confidence has to be your own instead of through something else.
does it make me undeserving of love or basic human respect ? you can be honest about your opinion, I mean if I take on this self concept will I be persecuted more than I already have been ? I guess that is what I am scared of the most
At the end of the day the only person you have to impress is yourself, but that doesn't mean that self-impressing is easy.
A humbling experience can be picking up a hobby, learning to improve in something you aren't already good at rather than expecting to already be it's master. This could be studying animals, learning to cook, mastering games or puzzles, learning to draw, taking up a martial art, anything to keep the mind going while constructively building towards something.
Everyone and everything is a work in progress, nothing is complete and always has room for improvement.
