Bitch said: 

You could always lick the bidet first like those lab folks in csi miami and if it tastes normal it's probably safe to stick up your ass.

Do you know how many germs are in a human mouth? I don't need that fouling the purity of my anus. 

Your anus isn't invincible

Am I childish for laughing at this conversation?

Yes. 

I am too though so it's fine.