Sociopath Community

eventually he became troubled by my flaws. i could not be perfect for him, though i wanted to be. 

our personal lives, our relationship being broadcasted, on this social media platform amongst, internet friends, lets call it that. he lived in a duality between, his addiction and, my relationship with me. and, the differing opinions of his friends- and, his own personal opinions of me. he often had to defend me in public settings or protect me, on social media. 

our relationship as it went through rockyness, it was all broadcasted for everyone to see, and to form their own opinions about. though, it wasn't the entire relationship you were viewing but, just the conversations we had publicly from time to time. 

everything was so public, it was extremely stressful for us both, and so we agreed to keep things more private. the more you gave people to see, the more criticism that was received. 

there were times where our relationship would sort of be under attack, people would try to confuse me into thinking he was doing something he wasn't, etc. or, trying to drive us apart in some way. working from both angles i assure you- on me, and on him. 

but he was never, conflicted, about the fact he had feelings for me, and didn't seek to please others, or appease them,... he knew how he felt about me and that wasn't wavering.

he was more facing, his own struggles still with sobriety, and i suppose sort of torn about that and our relationship. 

i guess it was naive to think that he would recover so quickly, and maintain sobriety so well. 

i watched someone so lively and with so many wonderful gifts, turn into someone i hardly recognized at times due to addiction. 

i grew distant, as he went further into his own self destruction. though i watched, i knew this was his own battle he had to fight and i could not win it for him.

his personality dwindled like sparks of a flame, and there was not much left of him as he became someone else entirely. 

i knew that talking to someone in such a condition, not much would get through. and he would not recollect the promises he made, or the things he said. 

he told me loved me and wanted to have kids with me one day, and didn't remember it the next day. 

he would vomit, i watched him vomit into bags, only to continue to drink. 

there was, obtuse hostility. arguments that went in circles and never really got anywhere and had no point. 

and he sort of, chose to disconnect from everyone, really, at times. even those closest, couldn't get through, he ghosted me at times, just going on benders. and no one was sure if he was alive or not. 

it finally got to a point where, he sat down, outside. it was ice and snow out, and he called me. he was walking back from the store. and, he was very confused sounding. and, he just sat down on the sidewalk, outside, in the ice and snow... freezing cold. and, refused to get up. 

i had to coax him to get up and go back inside, for about an hour, it took. or he would freeze and die. he told me he loved me over and over again. 

he later did not remember this. 

it got to the point he no longer made sense at times, and he forgot my name. but i still let him talk to me, i don't know. i just listened. 

and his words became bitter and his tongue like a sword. i felt a total lack of respect, he was angry, i don't know abotu what- but, he seemed to be that way about everything, not just me. 

i didn't fully understand it, i still don't, i didn't pry into that. i just simply maintained a healthy level of concern, but also, a healthy boundary, as, in hopes- he would, heal in the ways he needed to, within himself. 

i tried, to show consistent, concern. i tried to be inviting, but, rather than accepting my invitations, he made out with some... other, woman. and though i understood, it did also hurt me deeply. 

and he wandered off to other places. though he communicated with me, about it all. i listened, he was stressed out by his situations he found himself in, with this other woman. 

i just wanted to be there emotionally, as things, sort of, unravelled. 

after that, he completely cut off contact and dissappeared for a very long time. i don't know why. 

i just assumed, maybe he was off, recovering. finally. maybe, he was getting his life togther. or, maybe something terrible happened. maybe he was dead. maybe,... he just simply wanted to move on with life, wanted nothing to do with, me or, anyone from his past again. maybe, busy worokong on himself. maybe, met someone, new, you know, and was just, happy. 

i really, had no idea. it was quiet for a long time. 

I don't know what you took blanc, but it's doing something.

You also realize if you and him meet up again you're going to have to give it up for the man.

Not true to above, I’m not like that.

As for the thread in general:

WHYYYYYYYYYYYY are you making this T________T

why do I feel like I am the third wheel in this romance? romances are fun, iam fun, i am romance.

Tryptamine said: 

Not true to above, I’m not like that.

As for the thread in general:

WHYYYYYYYYYYYY are you making this T________T

 In theory her medication made her straight and she loves you again. Like a real life love pill.

Find out what she's taking. Last time I asked she couldn't manage to say what it is.

I swear you were just talking about this girl you were in love with a week ago or somn 

Lenalee said: 

I swear you were just talking about this girl you were in love with a week ago or somn 

 I asked her about that, then something amazing happened.

Blanc was like, "oh that girl ghosted me, it happens" and she legit never gave 2 fucks while carrying on about how lovely Trypt is.

She's not the same person as last week. Nor is she anything like Amber at the moment.