Sociopath Community

Ah, this cycle again. 

Explains the upvotes without any actual observation of his content. 

Turncoat said: 

Ah, this cycle again. 

Explains the upvotes without any actual observation of his content. 

 i'm telling a story, there are many stories within SC, this is one of them. 

Blanc said: 

Turncoat said: 

Ah, this cycle again. 

Explains the upvotes without any actual observation of his content. 

 i'm telling a story, there are many stories within SC, this is one of them. 

A retelling more like. 

blanc's perspective:

when i first met tryp, he had this sort of wild look in his eye. like he knew a secret no one else knew. or like he knew something was about to happen that you didn't.

he was so goofy and casual with complete strangers on the internet, so relaxed, almost too much so. i wondered what his perogative was in all of it, or was trying to understand him. why so much time skyping with random people on the internet, why so many people. what was he up to. he seemed like the kind of person who was always up to something. 

i sensed he was interested in me, he wanted to have a call with me so he scheduled something with me. i tried to think about what the hell i would say, i wasn't well versed with talking with strangers like he was. in fact i was so shy at the time, if introversion were a sport i'd be a gold medalist, i'm pretty sure. beyond withdrawn or quiet, i was meak. mild. afraid to speak. as embaressing as that is to admit, thats how i was then. 

when we finally had a chance to talk one on one, since everyone was talking over me in the skype calls. he seemed, really interested just, to get to know me. there was not much concern, all of that sort of lifted off of me the second we started talking. all the things i thought mattered, didn't, matter. 

i didn't want to admit it to anyone, especially not him. but i found him far too charming. i didn't want to make it obvious, that i liked it. just to make sure he knew the reason i liked him was more real than something so superficial. we had intellectual conversations that weren't too heady, or too bull shit, and full of shit. we had heart to hearts, without it being so cliche, or overly eomtional or cheesy. 

the most important part though is that it flowed very naturally. 

he really let me talk, and that was different for me, just having the space to talk. and then, he actually would listen, and respond to it- in a way that wasn't fucking boring or predictable. 

we immediately found common ground and places where we related, apparently. 

he said he wanted to keep calling me. so we did around the same time most evenings. 

i didn't want to make it obvious i liked him. but everytime i answered the facetime, he was smiling, with that rediculous big smile. or he would start of with something kind of goofy. there was always this, 'can you hear me,' 'yes i can hear you' 'okay, can you hear me now' 

and it took us a while to get the damn thing working. we would laugh about how broken it was sometimes. 

when he smiled, i smiled. i didn't like to smile, i wasn't a typically smiling person. 

but he would do these outlandish and goofy things, that were just bizarre enough i couldn't understand what he was doing, but it would always made me laugh. sometimes i would tell him to do it again and he would always oblige, and i applauded. 

the conversations carried on for hours and hours, and hours. he went through cigarette after cigarette after cigarette. he lit them with a blow torch of all things. of course- because he is chaotic, and insane. and eventually the calls we had with each other, racked into the hundreds, but it was like no time had passed. 

we shared childhood videos we made of ourselves, doing skits. apparently this was a common interest. we likely would of been friends had we known each other as kids. 

he was so smart, but so stupid at the same time. very particular about things, but at the same time entirely haphazard. 

i remember one time he took horse tranquilizers and was acting completely insane in a group call, and then threw himself into a wall on accident and fell down, and and then he just didn't get back up. i think he fell asleep that way sitting on the floor having knocked himself. me and Syst said to each other, well, i hope he is okay. acknowledging that was equally hilarious as it was concerning. i think we both understood we had, this endearing, care for tryp, and wanted him to be ok.

i think that was the moment i knew i really liked this guy, was when he managed to knock himself out by slamming himself into a wall. 

we decided we didn't really want the way things had been going on, to ever really end. so we decided, we were 'in a relationship' as the kids say. 

we fell asleep on the phone together most nights, he would be sad if i hung up on him even though he fell asleep so i kept it on. he wanted to have me leave the computer on, while i slept, even though i insisted thats very boring and nonsense. i didn't get it at the time. but, i think he just wanted me close. 

at first, it was our agreement, that we would help each other get clean from substances or stay off. and, we agreed that, if one of us fell off, we would have to go our separate ways. i don't know why we did this, but at the time it's just what we decided.

i just really wanted to help him too. 

i wanted him to know how special he is. i could see he wanted, something more for himself than, his addiction. i was more than willing to get him there. i could be firm, i could offer help, where he asked. but, i never forced it upon him, i always made sure, that he knew he stood on his own two feet, and was accomplishing this sobriety on his own volition, his own will. i wanted him to know that he did it, not me. 

he helped me when times were roughest for me too. through detoxes, or i called him crying saying, i didn't know who the fuck i was, what my sexuality was, etc. 

but he just told me it was okay and accepted that where i was at. he did not seek to change that. he was willing to work with it. i didn't deserve someone so understanding. but he was there. 

when we finally were able to spend christmas together. i thought to myself, what in the hell does this guy want to do with me so much so he'll fly on a plane to see me. i thought it was kind of nuts. but i wanted to be available for him more than i could be on a damn computer because i knew he wanted that ultimately and i wanted him around for such a sentimental holiday. 

i really, didn't have my shit together at this time. i tried my best, but. my mattress was on the floor. i really just didn't have it all together, yet. but we sat against the wall of my barren mattress, in my fucked up life. 

i was so lazy, at the time. i was really worried he wouldn't be lazy too. but luckily, thank god, i remember thinking to myself thank god he is incredibly lazy like me. so i didn't have to pretend. 

and we just, were lazy together. that's just, how i felt at the time. i felt bad that he had to match that vibration, where i was at- so, illprepared, and lazy. like, what the fuck, you know. 

he began to bond with my family even. he was so endearing with my cousins. and my father took kindly to him. i'm not really sure what kind of conversations they had, i was often asleep. but while i was out they were up talking in the other room, god knows about what. i think they must of had a heart to heart, because my dad seemed very interested in wanting to extend any kindness that he could to him. 

we went out to eat places but he seemed sort of undomesticated, and uncomfortable in these situations, as if he never really done much of it before, or the whole, going out to eat thing, it seemed to make him uncomfortable. 

he was happiest with his sparkling lemonade drinks and chocolate from walmart, he indoctrinated me of course and we'd sit on my bed eating it like kids after halloween. and i'd say to him. wow this is really good!!! 

he taught me to enjoy these simple pleasures, which, i had otherwise totally forgotten about. i did not know the candy isle in walmart existed, or that it had such a plethora of treasures. he really knew the rundown on chocolate. i asked him what he wanted to do, we could do *anything* and he just wanted to go to walmart. a creature of simple  comforts. 

a secondary addiction i assure you. chocolate and fizzy drinks. 

So... I have to ask again. 

Are you bi?