Sociopath Community

ChallengeSeeker said: 

Outro said: 

You've got borderline personality disorder. For real. This isn't even armchair psychology, you've literally self-identified with 8/9 criteria (it only takes like 4 to get diagnosed). And self-identification is how an actual psychologist would diagnose you.

- Chronic feelings of emptiness
- Emotional instability in reaction to day-to-day events (e.g., intense episodic sadness, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
- Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
- Identity disturbance with markedly or persistently unstable self-image or sense of self
- Impulsive behavior in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)
- Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
- Pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by extremes between idealization and devaluation (also known as "splitting")
- Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-harming behavior

So the good news is that it actually has a reasonable recovery rate, but the bad news is that it takes work. You're basically gonna need to get your shit together and commit to minimum 12 months of intensive psychotherapy. If you don't, this shit will keep happening. There's no Option C.

 Let me break down why I’m not BPD for you instead of just dismissing it.

1. I don’t feel empty ever

12/29/2021 13:31:59 ChallengeSeeker maybe my programming actually worked a little bit. I feel a bit empty
12/29/2021 13:32:40 ChallengeSeeker empty dreams of happiness
12/29/2021 14:24:44 ChallengeSeeker living is painful empty
12/29/2021 21:22:25 ChallengeSeeker I’m just an empty shell of a chick
12/30/2021 13:42:40 ChallengeSeeker Yeah, I don’t really know, but I feel empty without being pregnant now. Kind of feel like a failure too.
01/10/2022 02:42:27 ChallengeSeeker i feel empty without my stuff, but it will be okay because I’m still alive and God still loves me.

I'll leave the rest because I haven't actually met you, whereas Tryp has and has given a pretty good run-down.

I just want to add that I'm not saying you have BPD out of some desire to be derogatory, I really think you could live a better life if you dealt with some of this stuff. 

Turncoat said: 

ChallengeSeeker said: 

Turncoat said: 

ChallengeSeeker said: 

I’m diagnosed depressed, anxious and PTSD ridden. 

Like, officially? 

 Yes officially.

I somehow doubt you got an official diagnosis, rather from the following posts it sounds like you diagnosed yourself. 

Even so, head doctors can only work with what you give them, and will be reluctant to diagnose anything beyond the basics if not given cause to do so. It's similar to why you see a lot of ADD diagnosis' over a lot of disorders resembling it. If you're mood swingy and only report the mood you're currently in, it's possible that the shrink only saw one of the two expressions. 

 I am not mood swingy. I’m always depressed.

ChallengeSeeker said: 

Turncoat said: 

ChallengeSeeker said: 

Turncoat said: 

ChallengeSeeker said: 

I’m diagnosed depressed, anxious and PTSD ridden. 

Like, officially? 

 Yes officially.

I somehow doubt you got an official diagnosis, rather from the following posts it sounds like you diagnosed yourself. 

Even so, head doctors can only work with what you give them, and will be reluctant to diagnose anything beyond the basics if not given cause to do so. It's similar to why you see a lot of ADD diagnosis' over a lot of disorders resembling it. If you're mood swingy and only report the mood you're currently in, it's possible that the shrink only saw one of the two expressions. 

 I am not mood swingy. I’m always depressed.

Plenty of quotes from you beg to differ. 

You are definitely mood swingy, and prone to living in the moment. Much like Tryp said you'll be on top of the world one day and then beneath it the next, swapping from one extreme to another without much perception of a midground. 

You literally argued with me over how you could attract anyone, and over how all your evil and pain is a thing of the past (or never happened). When you're in one headspace you cannot relate to the other at all, arguably to the point of blacking them out until you return to that mood. 

Tryptamine said: 

ChallengeSeeker said:

 Let me break down why I’m not BPD for you instead of just dismissing it.

1. I don’t feel empty ever

Constantly seeking love at any chance, flying to countries to try and marry dudes you never even met before, saying that how you try to obtain such mates is by emulating aspects of them. Spending most of your free time online interacting with others, posting your inner thoughts in monologue form into a chat with the hope that someone will have input.

 2. I’m fine with day to day events. no emotion whatsoever every day. only emotional when it comes to About and my love for him that will never be shared with him because of how messed up I am. 

You are emotional (not just about guys) and it's in plain sight but you don't realize it because you have the perception you aren't, probably tied to how you thought (possible think) you're a psychopath.

3. I do try to avoid abandonment, but that’s daddy issues, but we can count it as BPD symptom #1 to give you the benefit of the doubt.

 

4. My self image and sense of self is the same every day. I hate myself and I always have because I’m evil and there’s a lot wrong with me.

There are some phases where you are boastful and proud, other phases where you are not. In fact when you first started chatting and posting here a lot, you would say things like you could make any guy fall in love with you, that everywhere you went men were wanting to be with you, making numerous statements about your intelligence and distinguishing achievements and general superiority, etc. This stuff still comes out from time to time, but now you have a different opinion of yourself after some rejections and failures. There have been numerous fluctuations among those two poles. Your sense of self & self-image largely seem tied to recent events in your life.

Attractive/Not attractive
Good mom/Bad mom
Intelligent/Stupid
Highly sexually selective/Whore

5. Impulsive behavior is me, but that’s because I’m depressed and care about nothing, but we can count that as a symptom for you. That’s number 2 then.

6. I have no anger issues at all unless I’m black out drunk. I’m rarely that drunk and day to day I have no anger at all. So that is not me at all.

It comes out visibly when you're drunk because you repress it. But yeah that's a debatable symptom that can just be a "nah."

7. I don’t idealize and then devalue. They’re always the same to me. I just express the good stuff when I’m with them because I want it to work and talk about the bad stuff when I’m finished with them or want to get over them, except with a about. I love him so I’m never going to be mean to him. Let’s count this as number 3 for your sake. 

You do, you go from how you love someone and want to marry them to how they are gross or whatever in the span that most people would be spending still getting to know each other better.

8. I’m suicidal because I’m depressed, but let’s count this as number 4.

So half of them barely apply. But all of them apply to my depression and anxiety. Let’s do that comparison.

Notice that for the symptoms you agree with, you make it a begrudging acceptance. "Yes, I have this, but it's because (some other thing indicating it's not BPD)". Also when people bring this personality disorder up to you, instead of having a bit of curiosity about why several different people are telling you this, you look for ways to shut it down ("doctors gave me different diagnoses"). You simply don't want it to be possible you are dealing with this.

 You’re being stupid. I never said or actually emulate anything about the other person. I don’t know where you got that from. I don’t hope for input either. I put it here for my own sanity and I just enjoy the input that inevitably comes from putting it here. You have problems just putting words in my mouth.

Dude, I’m not emotional. I’m just not. I don’t have emotions about anything except for About. I don’t cry, I don’t do anything emotional except be sad that my daddy hates me. Prove I have emotions and I’ll show you how fake they are.

im just complicated. I can make anyone love me, but I need a chance to do that. Everything I say is true, but it changes with the person. Also, my life has changed. I’m not in school any more. I used to be amazing at school and I used to be perfect, but now I’m doing real work and I’m not that great at that, so I can’t claim to be amazing or perfect anymore. It’s not a random change, it coincides with a life change. That’s What you’re not seeing. And now I realize how terrible I am because of how I could not stop myself from doing stuff with Chapo for the love of my life. If you found yourself doing stupid stuff, you’d hate yourself too.

i never say they’re gross unless they actually are. I have the same feelings from the beginning, but I only say one part of it when I want to be with them and then the other part when I don’t want them anymore. It’s not like I switch feelings, just select different things to talk about.

 That’s because I know what’s wrong with me and I know what I am like every time and I know what I do. You just can’t tell me what I’m thinking and doing when I think and do what I want to do and what I want to think at the time for whatever result I want. It’s just that I know what will help me and what will make me feel better in the moment and that’s what you guys see. You don’t pay attention to the purpose of my changes. You just look at the changes themselves and not the reason for the changes and that’s why you’re so insistent that I have some retarded disorder when I don’t.

i have never said or hinted that I was a psychopath or that I’d prefer that designation. I hate all designations and diagnoses, which is why I rarely go to the doctor with my issues. I have been diagnosed already and those are accurate in my own eyes and in the doctor’s eyes. You must want me to be a psychopath or something because I’ve never said or even hinted at wanting to be that. I despise that designation and would never be okay with someone calling me that either. You’re obviously still drinking like crazy if you truly think that’s what I want to be. 

Outro said: 

ChallengeSeeker said: 

Outro said: 

You've got borderline personality disorder. For real. This isn't even armchair psychology, you've literally self-identified with 8/9 criteria (it only takes like 4 to get diagnosed). And self-identification is how an actual psychologist would diagnose you.

- Chronic feelings of emptiness
- Emotional instability in reaction to day-to-day events (e.g., intense episodic sadness, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
- Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
- Identity disturbance with markedly or persistently unstable self-image or sense of self
- Impulsive behavior in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)
- Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
- Pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by extremes between idealization and devaluation (also known as "splitting")
- Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-harming behavior

So the good news is that it actually has a reasonable recovery rate, but the bad news is that it takes work. You're basically gonna need to get your shit together and commit to minimum 12 months of intensive psychotherapy. If you don't, this shit will keep happening. There's no Option C.

 Let me break down why I’m not BPD for you instead of just dismissing it.

1. I don’t feel empty ever

12/29/2021 13:31:59 ChallengeSeeker maybe my programming actually worked a little bit. I feel a bit empty
12/29/2021 13:32:40 ChallengeSeeker empty dreams of happiness
12/29/2021 14:24:44 ChallengeSeeker living is painful empty
12/29/2021 21:22:25 ChallengeSeeker I’m just an empty shell of a chick
12/30/2021 13:42:40 ChallengeSeeker Yeah, I don’t really know, but I feel empty without being pregnant now. Kind of feel like a failure too.
01/10/2022 02:42:27 ChallengeSeeker i feel empty without my stuff, but it will be okay because I’m still alive and God still loves me.

I'll leave the rest because I haven't actually met you, whereas Tryp has and has given a pretty good run-down.

I just want to add that I'm not saying you have BPD out of some desire to be derogatory, I really think you could live a better life if you dealt with some of this stuff. 

 Feeling empty because I lose all of my stuff and am no longer pregnant or was never pregnant is a life event that caused emptiness and is not a persistent feeling of emptiness. 

Turncoat said: 

5. Impulsive behavior is me, but that’s because I’m depressed and care about nothing, but we can count that as a symptom for you. That’s number 2 then.

7. I don’t idealize and then devalue. They’re always the same to me. I just express the good stuff when I’m with them because I want it to work and talk about the bad stuff when I’m finished with them or want to get over them, except with a about. I love him so I’m never going to be mean to him. Let’s count this as number 3 for your sake.

8. I’m suicidal because I’m depressed, but let’s count this as number 4.

Wait what? How are these reasons to not count them? 

You definitely have two sides to yourself, and attempting to show you quotes has you just presume people are misreading it. 

 Not presume but you actually are because I only write stuff here that’s on my mind and I don’t write why it’s on my mind. That’s only half of the story you see.

ChallengeSeeker said:

Dude, I’m not emotional. I’m just not. I don’t have emotions about anything except for About. I don’t cry, I don’t do anything emotional except be sad that my daddy hates me. Prove I have emotions and I’ll show you how fake they are.

Do you have all of like one month of memory or something? 

Your time here is spent monologuing about your feelings. 

Turncoat said: 

ChallengeSeeker said: 

Turncoat said: 

ChallengeSeeker said: 

Turncoat said: 

ChallengeSeeker said: 

I’m diagnosed depressed, anxious and PTSD ridden. 

Like, officially? 

 Yes officially.

I somehow doubt you got an official diagnosis, rather from the following posts it sounds like you diagnosed yourself. 

Even so, head doctors can only work with what you give them, and will be reluctant to diagnose anything beyond the basics if not given cause to do so. It's similar to why you see a lot of ADD diagnosis' over a lot of disorders resembling it. If you're mood swingy and only report the mood you're currently in, it's possible that the shrink only saw one of the two expressions. 

 I am not mood swingy. I’m always depressed.

Plenty of quotes from you beg to differ. 

You are definitely mood swingy, and prone to living in the moment. Much like Tryp said you'll be on top of the world one day and then beneath it the next, swapping from one extreme to another without much perception of a midground. 

You literally argued with me over how you could attract anyone, and over how all your evil and pain is a thing of the past (or never happened). When you're in one headspace you cannot relate to the other at all, arguably to the point of blacking them out until you return to that mood. 

 That’s not true at all. I am always aware of every different mood I’m in. I can get any guy except for About because I never got a chance. 

ChallengeSeeker said:

That’s not true at all. I am always aware of every different mood I’m in.

I can get any guy except for About because I never got a chance.

See, shit like this to other people makes you seem disconnected from reality. It's as if there's no perception of your own limitations. 

Turncoat said: 

ChallengeSeeker said:

Dude, I’m not emotional. I’m just not. I don’t have emotions about anything except for About. I don’t cry, I don’t do anything emotional except be sad that my daddy hates me. Prove I have emotions and I’ll show you how fake they are.

Do you have all of like one month of memory or something? 

Your time here is spent monologuing about your feelings. 

 Not about why I feel that way, just about how I feel. I always have a purpose for why I’m writing what I write. I never say what it is because then the person would know I’m trying to manipulate them. It’s stupid to think I put anything on here that’s accurate to a 100% accuracy level. I hide stuff because my men are here. If I just wrote everything I’d have no guys anymore. Don’t be stupid. I’m calculated.