Once visited my ex and one of the pitbulls never recognized me so he attacked. I pushed it off then sacrificed my weak arm ( wearing leather jacket ).
Dog grabs my forearm while I look out for the other one who happens to be a giant pitbull, ex is screaming and I slip out the screen door.
I let the dog live.
That experience also gave me a glimpse of how easy it would be for me to have killed the dog. First of all the dog was in the wrong by making me offensive, so when I think about what I'll do next time a creature starts cutting me up, the thoughts are glorious.
Not glorious in the sense that I'd want it to happen, but if it happens, yes. I couldn't agree more. I have a dozen different ways to kill the bastard, and I have no choice cause it hurt and if I wasn't armored in leather it would've been real serious, so it feels good thinking what I'd do. For life.
In less words, this experience has led to you fantasizing about killing vicious dogs, and it feels good when you do so.
I stated that I don't want it to happen you dumb fuck. What's satisfying is the thought of dispelling a life threatening situation.
There's people who go through being beaten up by people who end up acquiring similar issues to your issue with the dog, it's a gateway for many of the -isms based on the traits of the assailant over what parts don't match up with the victim.
Racism against black people for example in some individuals develops after being beaten up by one, or some. Even when the person could logically understand it's not their fault as a group, the trigger remains and the daydreaming continues to relieve the pain of a fearful scar left over. This sort of splitting can happen over race, gender, cultural views, politics, etc.
You sound as if you were traumatized by the event and now carry it over to thinking about destroying vicious dogs for the satisfaction of feeling as if you've survived, but once you start fantasizing it you're hypothetically starting it. Regardless of how Trauma is to blame for it you now fantasize about killing dogs.
What about Misses licky face and Bruce Dung, Fleabag, Kallie, Tattoo, Magnum, RomeDog, Rolex, Princess and Whisky ? A few of them need to be locked away and we're cool.
Was I traumatized by the event ? I took a selfie while at the Doctor's Office and I had a smirk on my face. I was armored, but if I wasn't I would have been traumatized. You know what was more traumatizing ? Crashing a Ninja, flying in the air, and sliding on the pavement for a 10 year road rash. My only complaint is that I don't have that on video.
When I was a child I've been beat up and bullied by white people, and I never thought about hating on them.
Yes it's an adrenaline rush feeling the force of the jaws trying to break you twice.
And yes the the thought of dropping a 50 hit ultra combo for a supreme victory in a life threatening situation is glorious and feels fantastic.
It's not fantasy, or a desire, it's been determined that this is necessary. I have no choice but to have thought about it, and in that process I have creative ways of demolishing aggressive dogs with or without tools.
Why does it feel good ? Probably the reptilian part of the brain cried out to me and it was time to unlock some survival instincts. It says, "yes that way, perfect. that's a good one, we'll be around for generations to come."
You think you understand it, and while you're often deluded I'd reckon you understand it the only way you know how, which is by over-standing it and perverting it as though this mutated into a sick fantasy. Again the thought is marvelous, I cannot disagree with that, but it's not like this haunts me and I daydream about killing my ex's dog and bringing sadness to her Family, or killing some strange dog.
