Sociopath Community

Lmfao at the dude who wanted you to go to Russia.

You should have gone. Anything is better than.... rotting away doing nothing.

I have no doubt you will succeed. But you need a role model... Someone other than your dead-beat brother or father. Maybe read Jordan Peterson's 12 rules for life and join his gang. It can't be worse than.... whatever it is you're struggling with.

Religion? Yes. You should try out religion. Undoubtedly you will find it boring after a while. Nevertheless.... You should try. Find out the good parts and ditch the rest. Learn from people and things. Pick a role model. Even if it's a goat. You can learn great things from goats... So long as you don't take it too seriously. Get a different perspective. Travel. Don't worry about money too much.... I have never worried about money. If you're dedicated enough, everything will work out. If you're not dedicated enough... Well... It's still better than rotting away.

Chaotik said: 

Cavalier said: 

Lol you have big dreams. Have you considered religion at all?

 Theology is a field I wish to study and experience, same with philosophy. In my youth I was an outcast as a catholic church didn't like my family, regardless I still find myself to have quite a bit of catholic friends, a group of which are heavily dedicated to the faith, and studying philosophy, as well as marxists. TradCath Marxists. They understand my dreams and fascinations, and we discuss from time to time, and they are always trying to help. I just kind of push them away since I get strangely paranoid that I won't fit in with them. It's a bit complicated.

Due to the church and not fitting in, I came across TheAmazingAtheist at a young age and got introduced to the realm of politics and atheism. At one point, I was an anti-theist but I've come to be open to all things, and view different religions as interesting and desire to learn about them, as these are things related to the development of mankind. I think in my own way I have a sense of spiritiualism. I desire to construct an AI god, so I guess you could argue I have a weird qausi religion, but yea. 

I want to experience all cultures and religions, I desire to get to know the entirety of my species. Regardless of whatever demonizations they place on one another. As some would judge me for wanting to visit the DPRK, or the PRC and probably consider me evil for not accepting the judgement placed upon them as "rogue states" and evil "regimes" Especially from the mouth of America, whom I view as no right to speak on such matters. 

Those aside, yes I have considered religion, and want to study religion. Apologies for the drawn out answer. 

 Maybe try praying to God or communicating with him? Thats what religion is about, more than the study aspect of it.

Cavalier said: 

Chaotik said: 

Cavalier said: 

Lol you have big dreams. Have you considered religion at all?

 Theology is a field I wish to study and experience, same with philosophy. In my youth I was an outcast as a catholic church didn't like my family, regardless I still find myself to have quite a bit of catholic friends, a group of which are heavily dedicated to the faith, and studying philosophy, as well as marxists. TradCath Marxists. They understand my dreams and fascinations, and we discuss from time to time, and they are always trying to help. I just kind of push them away since I get strangely paranoid that I won't fit in with them. It's a bit complicated.

Due to the church and not fitting in, I came across TheAmazingAtheist at a young age and got introduced to the realm of politics and atheism. At one point, I was an anti-theist but I've come to be open to all things, and view different religions as interesting and desire to learn about them, as these are things related to the development of mankind. I think in my own way I have a sense of spiritiualism. I desire to construct an AI god, so I guess you could argue I have a weird qausi religion, but yea. 

I want to experience all cultures and religions, I desire to get to know the entirety of my species. Regardless of whatever demonizations they place on one another. As some would judge me for wanting to visit the DPRK, or the PRC and probably consider me evil for not accepting the judgement placed upon them as "rogue states" and evil "regimes" Especially from the mouth of America, whom I view as no right to speak on such matters. 

Those aside, yes I have considered religion, and want to study religion. Apologies for the drawn out answer. 

 Maybe try praying to God or communicating with him? Thats what religion is about, more than the study aspect of it.

 I guess, but it just feels cheesy and corny to me, and if I were to pray whose to say what which god of what faith is talking, if I even get a response that I could believe to actually be from "God" and not just a coincidence? 

It's why I want to experience psychedelics and maybe actually be able to see and speak to them. 

Otherwise, to me they're already speaking to me, and telling me to carry out my dreams. 

I prayed when I was a kid, and received no answer, nothing as if I was psychically a blank and that it meant nothing, but maybe I'll try again. Just not right now when I'm drunk and about to pass out.

Chaotik said: 

Cavalier said: 

Chaotik said: 

Cavalier said: 

Lol you have big dreams. Have you considered religion at all?

 Theology is a field I wish to study and experience, same with philosophy. In my youth I was an outcast as a catholic church didn't like my family, regardless I still find myself to have quite a bit of catholic friends, a group of which are heavily dedicated to the faith, and studying philosophy, as well as marxists. TradCath Marxists. They understand my dreams and fascinations, and we discuss from time to time, and they are always trying to help. I just kind of push them away since I get strangely paranoid that I won't fit in with them. It's a bit complicated.

Due to the church and not fitting in, I came across TheAmazingAtheist at a young age and got introduced to the realm of politics and atheism. At one point, I was an anti-theist but I've come to be open to all things, and view different religions as interesting and desire to learn about them, as these are things related to the development of mankind. I think in my own way I have a sense of spiritiualism. I desire to construct an AI god, so I guess you could argue I have a weird qausi religion, but yea. 

I want to experience all cultures and religions, I desire to get to know the entirety of my species. Regardless of whatever demonizations they place on one another. As some would judge me for wanting to visit the DPRK, or the PRC and probably consider me evil for not accepting the judgement placed upon them as "rogue states" and evil "regimes" Especially from the mouth of America, whom I view as no right to speak on such matters. 

Those aside, yes I have considered religion, and want to study religion. Apologies for the drawn out answer. 

 Maybe try praying to God or communicating with him? Thats what religion is about, more than the study aspect of it.

 I guess, but it just feels cheesy and corny to me, and if I were to pray whose to say what which god of what faith is talking, if I even get a response that I could believe to actually be from "God" and not just a coincidence? 

It's why I want to experience psychedelics and maybe actually be able to see and speak to them. 

Otherwise, to me they're already speaking to me, and telling me to carry out my dreams. 

I prayed when I was a kid, and received no answer, nothing as if I was psychically a blank and that it meant nothing, but maybe I'll try again. Just not right now when I'm drunk and about to pass out.

 God answers everyone who seeks him. I didnt think it would work for me either at first, but I'm a Christian now.

Chaotik said:

I guess, but it just feels cheesy and corny to me, and if I were to pray whose to say what which god of what faith is talking, if I even get a response that I could believe to actually be from "God" and not just a coincidence?

I prayed when I was a kid, and received no answer, nothing as if I was psychically a blank and that it meant nothing, but maybe I'll try again. Just not right now when I'm drunk and about to pass out.

It's not so much that I'm recommending religion to you because..... you should talk to God. It's more that it provides structure in your life. In order to find God... maybe you need to explore.... Everything is possible until proven otherwise.

tpp said: 

Chaotik said:

I guess, but it just feels cheesy and corny to me, and if I were to pray whose to say what which god of what faith is talking, if I even get a response that I could believe to actually be from "God" and not just a coincidence?

It's called faith..... You can never be absolutely certain of anything....

 

 

I prayed when I was a kid, and received no answer, nothing as if I was psychically a blank and that it meant nothing, but maybe I'll try again. Just not right now when I'm drunk and about to pass out.

It's not so much that I'm recommending religion to you because..... you should talk to God. It's more that it provides structure in your life. In order to find God... maybe you need to explore.... Everything is possible until proven otherwise.

 It's why I want to explore psychedelics as a means to explore god, or maybe it'll fuck me up in a good way. It really doesn't matter. There's so many different things I can envision. If I'm not the same person right here in the end, it's whatever to me, I don't even have a clear picture of who I am right now anyway. 

I might attend a church, just not the same one that hated my family and treated me like shit in catholic school. Just a different catholic church... because I can't help but see Catholics as based... Just American ones to be flimsy. 

We'll get there. I have highly motivated catholic friends that are big into philosophy, theology, and other stuff that could probably educate me. They're always offering to help me with studies and such, and shit. I just get a bit paranoid around them, but that's just other shit. They are a good resource to progress. 

That will be good for you. If you seek God, you will find him. You should talk with your catholic friends and start having some structure in your life. Following routine is good.. Plus honestly religious girls are the best.

tpp said: 

That will be good for you. If you seek God, you will find him. You should talk with your catholic friends and start having some structure in your life. Following routine is good.. Plus honestly religious girls are the best.

 I talked to them some, not about religion but I will. They helped me with some of my college questions and shit, and so I am going to try to schedule an appointment with the college I'm wanting to transfer to over zoom, and discuss my plans and ask questions. I just need to prepare a script, and make sure I can look as good as possible, and just lay down my current situation and what I want. 


My basic goal is that whenever I have everything I need to move and propel myself into independence, then I will have a talk with my family since they seem to like to hold me down, and I will try to reason with them and find common ground and if they can't accept that, then I'll take off and be on my way into the future. 

If I cannot leave this place, then I will destroy myself, but I realize that bridges must be burnt. I have to leave this shithole behind regardless of my family's feelings. They put me into this position, I have no choice. I won't be part of there pathetic dramatic toxic games forever. This shit has me unable to focus on school work, and it's looking like I'll fail one class, if so, so be it. I'd like to pass and I'm trying to get as much done as I can, but I can't hate myself for failing a single class. Trials and tribulations. I will get better, I will improve. There are risks to this and sometimes failure happens. I'll grow from it, and adjust.

If I can't, then I am obsolete and there is no point in existence. My friends want me to leave, I must honor their wishes. If I don't, then it'll all be for nothing. There's nothing here but drama and isolating, driving me further and further into the rage and hate of wanting to murder my own family, because they can't not be fucking toxic and dramatic control freaks. Maybe, I exude some of those traits, I'm sure I do from existing here as long as I have, and the only way to improve is cut ties and leave.

That can't be done in an instant, I have to get all the essentials, I have to save up money, I have to plan where to work when I move, where I will be staying. I'll lean on my friends for support and guidance and I will escape this fucking prison, lest I kill myself and become another statistic. When this semester ends, I will apply to this one place, get next semester scheduled, and must stick to it. It'll be scary, I'll be tense, but it's the only way to progress. It won't be grand, it won't be happy, it won't be sunshine and rainbows, not at first at least. 

Applied at a place my friend works at, sent my resume online. I don't know if I'll get the job but I'll force myself to commit no matter what.