Sociopath Community

Lenalee said: 

NotCS said: 

Lenalee said: 

NotCS said:

 

i know it was all my fault, so I’m sorry. I guess I got mad because you lied to me earlier that day. That’s all I can think of as a trigger for my drunken rage. I hate lying and being lied to. Makes me feel stupid especially after all I had sacrificed for you. At least you could be honest with me and not just try to manipulate me. I am not like other girls. I gave you everything because I loved you and wanted you to have it, but because you manipulated me into giving it to you, so why go full manipulation when you didn’t need to? Made me mad. Thanks for the sex though. I really appreciated that. Also for the recap some people just keep it to themselves. I like to know what I did wrong.

 This bitch really said I'm not like other girls.

 Yeah, I’m not. I’m crazy and also generous to the point of self destruction. I used everything I had to be with him because I wanted to keep him even for the short amount of time I had with him. I guess some girls do that, but they aren’t the same ones who hit guys for lying to them about loving them. They would be happy with the lie. I wasn’t happy with it.

I prefer the truth and living with the truth that he was just using me for a place to live, sex, and alcohol. I prefer to leave that as the reality and not be lied to because I loved him and I know what love looks like. He can’t lie and say he loves me because I see his actions and they did not reflect love, so I knew he was lying and that apparently made me mad enough to hit him when I was drunk. 

 He wasn't using you, you freely offered those thing because you don't know how to be alone 

 True, then why did he feel the need to lie to me and tell me he loved me? Obviously he thought there was some manipulation going on there, otherwise he wouldn’t have said it.

Turncoat said: 

Tryp said: 

It'd be easy to get the impression from that story that she's always unhinged, but that wasn't the case. She was sober most of the time, interacted with her kid a lot, etc. There was some bickering here and there (I even slapped/smacked her once while really drunk), but it got resolved. The day up to that point was fine. I guess something repressed came out with a vengeance, same thing that happened first time I left.

This isn't the first time she's gone off the handle like this, she now has a breadcrumb trail between multiple people she's hurt like this. She also cannot recognize in herself that she's capable of these things, in fact she argues vehemently against the truth, so I'd also venture that she's not looking to fix the issue either. 

I don't know about you, but if my drinking was awakening a violent temper that's that unstable I'd be trying harder than she is to quit drinking. 

 I already quit drinking and am in therapy and anger management and stuff. I’m working on it and Trypt is a great guy. That’s why he didn’t press charges. 

NotCS said: 

Turncoat said: 

Tryp said: 

It'd be easy to get the impression from that story that she's always unhinged, but that wasn't the case. She was sober most of the time, interacted with her kid a lot, etc. There was some bickering here and there (I even slapped/smacked her once while really drunk), but it got resolved. The day up to that point was fine. I guess something repressed came out with a vengeance, same thing that happened first time I left.

This isn't the first time she's gone off the handle like this, she now has a breadcrumb trail between multiple people she's hurt like this. She also cannot recognize in herself that she's capable of these things, in fact she argues vehemently against the truth, so I'd also venture that she's not looking to fix the issue either. 

I don't know about you, but if my drinking was awakening a violent temper that's that unstable I'd be trying harder than she is to quit drinking. 

 I already quit drinking and am in therapy and anger management and stuff. I’m working on it and Trypt is a great guy. That’s why he didn’t press charges. 

 You're gonna go meet the dude that does acid and shit and hits his wife over not being given sex, something explosive is gonna happen and tbh i can barely wait

Turncoat said: 

NotCS said: 

Tryp said: 

She hurt me : (

The hotel food wasted my money, the Airbnb was $3,000 a month, 

Damn, he goes on about how insane you are and your first go to's are how it was pricey and he called the cops over it. 

Also maybe consider a motel 6 or something next time, $3000's a stupid-high price to pay and you should know better than that. 

the food was when I was poor from the Airbnb’s and you called the police on me because I supposedly hit you. They didn’t have to come. 

'Supposedly', you'll never fix yourself will you? 

As long as you can't abandon this construct ideal of who you are you'll never see what's really going on. You just lost your child, for good reason, GET. THE. HINT. 

One of these days you'll find someone who will press charges, and then you're beyond fucked. 

You were supposed to help me get weed so I could stop drinking. I was drunk which is why I was laughing, I thought I would get her back the next day, like in CA. 

Pretty sure you were laughing to dull the pain, smiling releases endorphins, which is why people unhinged off their rocker can find themselves doing it to substitute for crying. 

Jeez though you're still stuck in a blame cycle, as if any of this is even half-equivalent to the story he just told about you. 

I had no idea I was so crazy.

If you'd listen to other people you'd have known this about yourself already, you've been like this for years now. 

Years. 

The last thing I remember is listening to music and saying that’s how I felt about you and then you calling the police on me. I don’t remember anything about sayings evil things or anything like that. The cops said you pressed charges and then that you didn’t months later.

I mean he should have, you need to be stopped and I kinda don't see very many ways for you to learn your lesson otherwise. 

His trying to wash his hands clean of all of this and move on is a part of why you're able to now move this trainwreck of a life onto someone else's doorstep. 

I sent you money for a new phone.

Sounds more like he accepted it as a bribe. 

Alcohol is bad for me and you were supposed to get me weed but only care about yourself. It’s not a priority, just like getting my medicine wasn’t just because I liked the Costco guy or you were lazy.

You're a mess, accept the blame for your transgressions, it's not his fault because he didn't buy you weed that's a super dumb excuse that would not fly in a court of law (unless you're a cop ala the Twinkie Defense). 

Take some personal responsibility, damn. You lost your kid, that should be enough to teach you a lesson, and the fact that it isn't even phasing you really is proof that you're too in your own head to get better. 

Even Turquie and Delora, two people you likely look down on for being nuts or whatever, have more going on when it comes to their journeys towards self improvement. 

No medicine and alcohol means I go crazy.

Not his fault, stop. 

If it's that big of a thing for you you'd have found ways to ensure you had it there yourself. There's even edibles and shit now, take some personal responsibility. 

I would live with you again sober, but I have a boyfriend now and we are going to get married for real this time.

I legit feel bad for Chapo right now, dude just wants to nut in peace and you're what shows up. 

Plus, they won’t let me live with you with my baby because of domestic violence, so it’s not safe for her, even if it was me who did it. So we are done and I’ve moved on. 

Thankfully they don't let your baby live with you either, you're a much, much bigger risk than he is towards children. 

This has nothing to do with him, with what he's been through with you he could likely still be with someone else who has a child while you've been deemed a danger to your own child, enough so that they had to take her away from you (finally). Stop deflecting blame, especially this poorly, and accept your place in this. 

Sorry for the inconvenience and for getting so crazy when I’m drunk. I never want anyone to see me like that. I hate alcohol and will never drink again. I can’t believe you ever drink after getting sober. It baffles me because of how much I hate alcohol now

Alcohol's your blood at this point, you can't stop and won't stop. 

You're legit an addict and you need help, professional help. At this point it feels more like you're saying 'the alcohol did it' right before taking another swig. 

i know it was all my fault, so I’m sorry.

You sure didn't know this was your fault when you began this giant ramble. 

I guess I got mad because you lied to me earlier that day. That’s all I can think of as a trigger for my drunken rage. I hate lying and being lied to. 

Oh my god, more deflection of blame onto the other person? 

Makes me feel stupid especially after all I had sacrificed for you.

And now you expect to be able to guilt trip Tryp into a a position of pity for you? 

He'll probably do it anyway. 

At least you could be honest with me and not just try to manipulate me. I am not like other girls.

Damn right you're not, you're a danger to yourself and others and you ought to be put somewhere where others run your life for you. 

I gave you everything because I loved you and wanted you to have it, but because you manipulated me into giving it to you, so why go full manipulation when you didn’t need to? Made me mad. Thanks for the sex though. I really appreciated that. Also for the recap some people just keep it to themselves. I like to know what I did wrong.

You're still putting all the blame on him, you don't even feel personally responsible for it do you? 

Disgusting. 

 You’re an idiot! I am in treatment, I am getting better, I know it’s my fault, I’m just telling you the full story. Why I may have freaked out and hit him. Stop judging for one second and realize that you don’t know everything. I am sober and have been since the day she was taken from me.

I haven’t had any substances at all. I’m taking medicine, I have group therapy, individual therapy times three and I know I have a substance use disorder, but I am in remission. It’s been two months already and I don’t even have cravings. I may have been addicted, but that’s over. I’m working on everything and I am doing what I need to do to get better and get my baby back. 

Lenalee said: 

NotCS said: 

Turncoat said: 

Tryp said: 

It'd be easy to get the impression from that story that she's always unhinged, but that wasn't the case. She was sober most of the time, interacted with her kid a lot, etc. There was some bickering here and there (I even slapped/smacked her once while really drunk), but it got resolved. The day up to that point was fine. I guess something repressed came out with a vengeance, same thing that happened first time I left.

This isn't the first time she's gone off the handle like this, she now has a breadcrumb trail between multiple people she's hurt like this. She also cannot recognize in herself that she's capable of these things, in fact she argues vehemently against the truth, so I'd also venture that she's not looking to fix the issue either. 

I don't know about you, but if my drinking was awakening a violent temper that's that unstable I'd be trying harder than she is to quit drinking. 

 I already quit drinking and am in therapy and anger management and stuff. I’m working on it and Trypt is a great guy. That’s why he didn’t press charges. 

 You're gonna go meet the dude that does acid and shit and hits his wife over not being given sex, something explosive is gonna happen and tbh i can barely wait

 It’s not like that. He isn’t like that anymore. His medicine makes him relaxed. He’s a nice guy. I know how to handle my anger and he will stop doing all drugs except weed. We will both be better people for being together. 

I don't think you should get your baby back if you're going to just keep putting her in situations where she can be hurt 

Lenalee said: 

I don't think you should get your baby back if you're going to just keep putting her in situations where she can be hurt 

 I’m not going to do that. I plan to be alone for a while and eventually be with chapo. I will visit him without the baby sometimes and we will get married in like a year or so. He will be more responsible by then because people change and he is already more responsible than before and I will be more responsible too. We will be adults doing what adults do, mature. That’s what you don’t get. We won’t be like this forever. I’m fixing myself with therapy and stuff already and when I’m finished, I’ll be the perfect mom and adult. 

"It'll be good, yo.  I'm fixing myself with therapy and shit, so I can grow up to be a real person, fam."

NotCS said: 

Lenalee said: 

I don't think you should get your baby back if you're going to just keep putting her in situations where she can be hurt 

 I’m not going to do that. I plan to be alone for a while and eventually be with chapo. I will visit him without the baby sometimes and we will get married in like a year or so. He will be more responsible by then because people change and he is already more responsible than before and I will be more responsible too. We will be adults doing what adults do, mature. That’s what you don’t get. We won’t be like this forever. I’m fixing myself with therapy and stuff already and when I’m finished, I’ll be the perfect mom and adult. 

 Delusional shit tf

NotCS said: 

You’re an idiot! I am in treatment, I am getting better, I know it’s my fault

95% of your rant was over how it's not your fault, and for that one "I'm sorry" you immediately abandoned it to return to blaming him. 

I’m just telling you the full story. Why I may have freaked out and hit him.

No you're spinning it, poorly. 

Even your reasons for it have been reduced to "I hit him because he told me he loved me", but then when we see what "I hit him" is from reading his tale that's super fucked up. 

Stop judging for one second and realize that you don’t know everything.

I know enough to know that anyone's life you walk into will become that much worse, and there's a trail of bodies to prove it. 

I am sober and have been since the day she was taken from me.

You're a chronic liar and I can't trust you. 

Frankly you shouldn't trust you. 

I haven’t had any substances at all. I’m taking medicine, I have group therapy, individual therapy times three and I know I have a substance use disorder, but I am in remission.

What medicine? 

I see the problems with you being moreover your character rather than the vices themselves personally. It's not 'the addiction' that has you bent over a barrel, it's how you handle addiction. You are very quick to say 'Fuck it' and jump right back in, I have no hopes that you'll get better. 

It’s been two months already and I don’t even have cravings. I may have been addicted, but that’s over. I’m working on everything and I am doing what I need to do to get better and get my baby back. 

You begged to differ in the chat yesterday, you'd go right back to the bottle over something not-major and say it's not your fault. 

Just watch, you might even use my saying this towards you as the excuse. You're out of control and need more help than you're willing to accept. 

I wouldn't be surprised if you only went into this sobriety idea to get Jade back, and have no inclination whatsoever to keep yourself sober once you've accomplished this short-sighted goal. For her sake I hope you fail and don't push out any more children who will have to suffer either through you or the system.