because I know how deceptive Satan is, which is very very deceptive and manipulative
Yet you don't question if these Jesus messages you're getting could be Satan in disguise?
The guy's pushing for you to embrace ideas The Church won't accept, that go flagrantly against Biblical structure and ideals, and that happen to match up with your egoist desires you've carried independent of this religion.
For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ.
And no marvel, for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.
Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness, whose end shall be according to their works.
- 2 Corinthians 13-15
You may believe your worship to be righteous, it's intention good, but 'The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions'. If it is not done correctly you'll be thrown in with the rest who otherwise weren't necessarily evil, but merely mistaken.
If he's truly the "King of Lies" as the Book of John claims, then what he's doing seems like quite the effective trick to steer you away from God's light. This, among a myriad of other reasons, is why The Church pushes memorizing and practice of The Bible so much, to try to see through such things and reinforce those habits into your daily life as a model.
You could also be being tested like Abraham was, in which case you'd be failing Biblically speaking.
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