Ineffective:
"He/ she wasn't good enough anyways, plenty fish on the sea, I will just get someone else better"
You don't know if you can do that - 1
And if you can easily, it doesn't matter, it's avoidance - 2
It's never about being someone better, it's about being better for what you needed when you were with the person
Timing beats speed, accuracy beats power = Apply to relation ships as well
Effective:
"I will never get someone like that again, cause it was him/her and there's no other like him/her"
But that's completely fine and it's part of life, moving on.
That sounds either said than done, but you need to accept the cold harsh pill completely, let it ruin you even, don't cope with it at all.
This tactic is depended on human adaptivity, you get used to it, conditioned into it. So you can make it part of you and move on instead of letting it drag you down.
Now if you can't do that? Well you're fucked.
Ineffective:
"That fucking whore used to gaslight me so hard and cheat on me i am glad she is gone i fucking hate her guts, gonna post her nudes to her new husband and ruin her life now worthless whore breaking my heart"
Revenge does feel good, and this would surely grant some grand satisfaction, especially for your pride or ego but...
It wasn't just your pride and ego who was wounded, it was your hope and sensitivity.
Revenge can't restore those, it simply can't. You need something that can restore all three.
Effective:
Why did this happen? What allowed it to happen? What parts of you allowed that to happen?
Cause sure, that bastard/ whore crucified your emotions but...
Who gave them the hammer? They took it? Nah.
It was your weakness, your hope, your lack of foresight, your lack of perception.
Stop treating the symptoms, treat the cause, cure the illness, and by doing so you will naturally move on from it, it will be beneath you.
Ineffective:
"It was all my fault, this happens, i shouldn't had done that, it's part of life to be treated like this"
Rationalization/ justification stop that.
There's no rationalization or justification for evilness, unfairness, or pain, they just happen.
Don't hide behind morality, circumstances, it will never worse and it will help you accept cruelty in expense of your own confidence.
And you need a hella lot of confidence to move on.
Effective:
"This was a good lesson, I will never let this happen again to me. Period."
Blame your weakness, not yourself, and have pride, allow your pride to be wounded, and let it fuel you to better yourself.
Most ineffective way in mankind so far:
"Forgiveness"
I won't elaborate on this, cope if you want, but actual forgiveness is impossible. I am willing to post videos of people analyzing it better than I can do here, but I won't. Stop trying to forgive the unforgivable.
Most effective way in mankind so far:
"Superiority"
Yes this sound like a NPD cope, or ASPD cope, or grandiose delusions. That's not what I mean.
And this is important, most important part of this post.
Mold your ambitions through you, don't let your ambitions mold you.
