I bathed this stray cat when it came despite my initial disgust of it, because it's it's best chance of getting adopted. I feed it fish I buy every day, because it vomits catfood for some reason. I pet it for brief periods for comfort for itself. My emotions are disgust and horror. My actions are based on my logic, however, that this innocent creature is not responsible for my mental illness, and despite my hatred and anger, I care for it, because it does not deserve to suffer. It has suffered enough as a stray. Do I like it? No. Do I want to see it suffer? Yes, emotionally. Do I allow it to suffer? No. My emotions are not my choice but my actions are. What do I call the cat? When no one's around I call it "mangy". Cat responds like this is it's name or something, it responds with love. Do I love it back? Not emotionally but what is love anyway?