Sociopath Community

Well, chai, your input here gives me some confidence that my own practice/thought on the matter has some truth/use to it.  I appreciate it.

On the point of "not being special", I fully agree, but there might be a snag here with my own thinking which might be part of the enabling problem.  I already have a low narcissism rating; I think no one is special or unique, including myself.  We're all basically animals that happen to be a lot more full of themselves than the rest (as far as it looks like, anyway).  It's all just inevitable bullshit out there in society, in many ways.  It's hard for me to care.  However, humanity's lowest common denominator isn't that scarce, it's right underneath the surface of everyone, high or low.  If there is the possibility to indulge in this basic, selfish nature, it is enough of a probability to lead one to believe in its inevitability on the scale of seven billion+ people to sample.  The only thing that tends to keep me from plunging headlong into ranting against the "Elite" invisible oligarchy that actually runs this planet (which I think is true), is that I realize my life and existence is insignificant enough that to merely be able to do whatever I want to do without being too curtailed is enough for me.  Everyone dies, right?  Go ahead and rule this rock.

But, on the scale of day-to-day, it doesn't hamper functioning.  This "no one is special" way of thinking both gives me reason to believe the worst of people and the right dose of apathy in order to shrug my shoulders and say "c'est la vie".

Buttered Toast said: 

Well, chai, your input here gives me some confidence that my own practice/thought on the matter has some truth/use to it.  I appreciate it.

On the point of "not being special", I fully agree, but there might be a snag here with my own thinking which might be part of the enabling problem.  I already have a low narcissism rating; I think no one is special or unique, including myself.  We're all basically animals that happen to be a lot more full of themselves than the rest (as far as it looks like, anyway).  It's all just inevitable bullshit out there in society, in many ways.  It's hard for me to care.  However, humanity's lowest common denominator isn't that scarce, it's right underneath the surface of everyone, high or low.  If there is the possibility to indulge in this basic, selfish nature, it is enough of a probability to lead one to believe in its inevitability on the scale of seven billion+ people to sample.  The only thing that tends to keep me from plunging headlong into ranting against the "Elite" invisible oligarchy that actually runs this planet (which I think is true), is that I realize my life and existence is insignificant enough that to merely be able to do whatever I want to do without being too curtailed is enough for me.  Everyone dies, right?  Go ahead and rule this rock.

But, on the scale of day-to-day, it doesn't hamper functioning.  This "no one is special" way of thinking both gives me reason to believe the worst of people and the right dose of apathy in order to shrug my shoulders and say "c'est la vie".

 I think there is merit to that kind of apathy, but it's not as useful or adaptive if the attitude halts at "c'est la vie", you should take it further to something along the lines of "well fuck it, I'll live as if unaffected and persue what I want". not to say you don't, I don't know anything about your life really. 

the point I was making about not being special might be more relevant to chimpi seeing he said he sometimes was convinced people were conspiring against him, and I assume he meant in a personal way and not in a detached kind of shadow government everyone is being controlled way

but yeah my own attitude to conspiracy (and why I think I never really suffer from paranoia) is because if someone brings up a conspiracy like an elite invisible oligarchy, my attitide is along the lines of "well we can't prove it either way and who cares regardless" 

chai said: 

I think there is merit to that kind of apathy, but it's not as useful or adaptive if the attitude halts at "c'est la vie", you should take it further to something along the lines of "well fuck it, I'll live as if unaffected and persue what I want". not to say you don't, I don't know anything about your life really. 

but yeah my own attitude to conspiracy (and why I think I never really suffer from paranoia) is because if someone brings up a conspiracy like an elite invisible oligarchy, my attitide is along the lines of "well we can't prove it either way and who cares regardless" 

 Yeah, apathy is freedom here.  In some ways, my attitude amounts to the same things as yours, regarding conspiracies (even my own).  It's more habit than activity, at this point.

Buttered Toast said: 

chai said: 

I think there is merit to that kind of apathy, but it's not as useful or adaptive if the attitude halts at "c'est la vie", you should take it further to something along the lines of "well fuck it, I'll live as if unaffected and persue what I want". not to say you don't, I don't know anything about your life really. 

but yeah my own attitude to conspiracy (and why I think I never really suffer from paranoia) is because if someone brings up a conspiracy like an elite invisible oligarchy, my attitide is along the lines of "well we can't prove it either way and who cares regardless" 

 Yeah, apathy is freedom here.  In some ways, my attitude amounts to the same things as yours, regarding conspiracies (even my own).  It's more habit than activity, at this point.

 apathy is freedom everywhere, being aware of what you can't know or change and deciding not to let it affect you is liberating. I have lost my apetite for certainty to a large degree

I always found paranoia a bit strange. I also think it's like how chai described it, it's overactive pattern recognition that probably has a lot to do with dopamine.

I used to work with this woman that would talk about how the CIA was doing shit with aliens and the FBI were sending coded messages and stuff. She still did her job so no one gave a shit, but I was just wondering how something like that could persist in a functional person. There must be so many mental gymnastics going on.

What the fuck is this 

TL;DR

Yee, childhood tings made me think there was a possibility i was being spied on for a long time and occasionally I get some weird vibes that make my brain start connecting things into a pattern that doesn't actually exist and it becomes a sort of...almost self fulfilling thing when really it's just natural responses to my own weird behaviors/expressions.

I do this on here and in irl friendships and it.starts.problems.

Whorechata said: 

Yee, childhood tings made me think there was a possibility i was being spied on for a long time and occasionally I get some weird vibes that make my brain start connecting things into a pattern that doesn't actually exist and it becomes a sort of...almost self fulfilling thing when really it's just natural responses to my own weird behaviors/expressions.

How much do yours spin out of control? 

I used to be very paranoid and mistrustful, for a weird reason, I have become much more trusting and open in the last 3 years.

When I am walking around at night, I check behind me every 30 seconds, to see if anyone's following to shank me.

AlmightyJim said: 

I used to be very paranoid and mistrustful, for a weird reason, I have become much more trusting and open in the last 3 years.

When I am walking around at night, I check behind me every 30 seconds, to see if anyone's following to shank me.

 Loooool. I do that too. Also what I regularly do: before I go inside my house, i look around to see if anyone followed me or if there are people that i saw on another day as well, which could mean they are watching me and trying to find out coming/going patterns. I also look in windows of shops if someone is following me or if someone who just walked by me turns around to come after me etc. I use windows of shops because you can quickly check and it is camouflaged. When I get phone calls I never say my name, I always say Hello, who is there, etc., so that no one can check who picks up to see if they got my number correctly etc. i never tell people even friends my plans. When I have a job interview etc i never tell anyone. I never tell anyone not even friends where I am going and when specifically. I dont think my friends are scheming but I do think it could create unneccessary discursive thoughts or jealousy (for example in case of job opportunities) I never tell anyone my long term goals even though I have many goals. On the street I have a great variety of "scanning" behaviors. I scan with heuristics everyone. I automatically perceive people that are 50 or even 100m away on the different side of the road. This happens very quickly and I scan them for anything unsual or threats. I never pick up phone calls from unknown numbers. I collect papers that I think are containing anything private and burn them once a year. I never throw them in the trash.