but you can’t stop it because you’re always too high
Therein lies the problem.
Yes, but if I wasn’t high, I’d probably be dead. Being high makes me too lazy to kill myself, and it gets rid of the pain. I have a lot to deal with, so I’m not sure if I can stay sober for work. I’m defeated. I shouldn’t have acknowledged my feelings and discussed them. It would have been smarter to just not talk when I’m high. Too late though. Now I just have to figure out how I’m going to survive when I get home. I have no motivation. I might have to switch to being okay with being alone forever and just go with bodyguards instead.