Sociopath Community

ddddddd said: 

chimpi said: 

ddddddd said: 

No wonders she was raped about 6 years ago. After that she was trtaumatized like hell and I helped her to get through it etc. Ok my methods were unconventional and probably would look abusive from the outside, but my intentions and the result were good

 

 What kind of methods? Could you elaborate? 

 When I met her, about 6 years ago, she could not even hug people. Had bad ptsd etc. I systematically did desensibilization with her after we became friends and she trusted me. Like I forcefully touched her chest and so on or we were lieing next to each other for an hour until her physiological reaction went down etc. I know it sounds abusive, but I did this without any kind of agenda or own need and it cured her issues over the course of two years to the point that she was able to date again etc. I healed her. But I wouldnt tell it to my superviosor hahaha xD

 Sometimes unconventional methods have favourable results, but the ends don't justify the means. It looks abusive because it is. The unhealthy dynamic is obvious even in just how she's afraid to tell you things and you seem unable to accept her choices. She's naive and you want to protect her? give me a break. She's an adult and will only learn to stand on her own two feet when you aren't whispering in her ear. I know it can be hard to let go, especially when you feel like you're a protective figure, but you might be smothering her whether she realises it yet or not.

Crimson said:

She's naive and you want to protect her? give me a break.

You seem fine with when it's being directed towards you. 

Turncoat said: 

Crimson said:

She's naive and you want to protect her? give me a break.

You seem fine with when it's being directed towards you. 

 I used to be, it was unhealthy

Crimson said: 

Turncoat said: 

Crimson said:

She's naive and you want to protect her? give me a break.

You seem fine with when it's being directed towards you. 

 I used to be, it was unhealthy

 What about it was unhealthy? 

I think if you stop talking to her then she will realize how important you are in her life and fix her mistakes going forward

spite said: 

I think if you stop talking to her then she will realize how important you are in her life and fix her mistakes going forward

 What do you see as mistakes she made?

Crimson said: 

ddddddd said: 

chimpi said: 

ddddddd said: 

No wonders she was raped about 6 years ago. After that she was trtaumatized like hell and I helped her to get through it etc. Ok my methods were unconventional and probably would look abusive from the outside, but my intentions and the result were good

 

 What kind of methods? Could you elaborate? 

 When I met her, about 6 years ago, she could not even hug people. Had bad ptsd etc. I systematically did desensibilization with her after we became friends and she trusted me. Like I forcefully touched her chest and so on or we were lieing next to each other for an hour until her physiological reaction went down etc. I know it sounds abusive, but I did this without any kind of agenda or own need and it cured her issues over the course of two years to the point that she was able to date again etc. I healed her. But I wouldnt tell it to my superviosor hahaha xD

 Sometimes unconventional methods have favourable results, but the ends don't justify the means. It looks abusive because it is. The unhealthy dynamic is obvious even in just how she's afraid to tell you things and you seem unable to accept her choices. She's naive and you want to protect her? give me a break. She's an adult and will only learn to stand on her own two feet when you aren't whispering in her ear. I know it can be hard to let go, especially when you feel like you're a protective figure, but you might be smothering her whether she realises it yet or not.

 I think this advice had a lot of good things in it. I thought about everything. I agree now about the obvious unhealthy dynamic etc and her necessary development of independence etc. I also do not think the ends justify the means necessarily, however I do think in general that unconventional methods are not bad per se. I think what makes an action good or bad depends strongly on motivation and intention behind it. Because we are not omniscient, we cannot fully rely on the expected outcome of our actions, thats why intention is also important etc. It does not mean one does not need wisdom. Wisdom and compassion (goodwill) should come together. Other things are not in our control.

I had a phone call with her where we kinda made up, but I can still feel awkward reservation which I think will be resolved through time passing. I also sent her one book that I think will support her finding her own independence. 

Also you're a narc btw.