Sociopath Community

Tryptamine said: 

chimpi said:

I am well aware. I've been having brain zaps every third time I move my head to the left or right. It's like life is lagging sometimes and it does distract me from forming fully coherent thoughts. However this will pass, I did not know that brain zaps were dangerous per se.

They're not. When I was writing that, I was thinking how some people get stuck with them long-term. But I don't know if tapering makes any difference for that.

Tapering does make a difference, I'm pretty sure the zaps are directly correlated with the intensity of the change

chimpi said:

I still hope that the giddyness and joy I have felt for the past three days aren't just a rebound effect from my serotonin not being regulated by pills any longer.

If you were taking SSRIs, your serotonin should be lower if anything, no? I hear a lot of people describing a sort of blankness or dulling on SSRIs. I'm curious about that, I guess I'll see for myself in a month or so.

 Yes that's what I described as well ITT

Good luck bro, I wasn't shitting on the meds themselves, they can really help, it's just time for me to move on from them

chimpi said: 

Alright, I'll explain my reasoning. 

When I was deeply miserable I remember taking the antidepressants and feeling relief from the numbness that they brought. I think those meds serve to bring a person up to a certain level of stability, so as to provide a basis for personal improvement. However, I found that the relief of these pills doesn't follow a progressive or proportional growth model. When I was at, say, 20% contentment then the pills allowed me to function from a 40% basis. Having grown to a 60% or even 70% contentment rate, the pills still drew me back to 40%. They don't necessarily made me happier, they simply stunted part of my brain and muffled my internal dialogue so that I could better focus on recovery. 

This has been my experience too. I think initially ADs can help you from spiralling lower into depression but after you stabilize and climb back up there's just an overall flat effect that makes life feel dull and colourless. I think once your brain adapts to having balanced chemicals your body seems to try to maintain that, so going off of them isn't as noticeable, at least it wasn't for me. I quit cold turkey too.

That's why I think it's time to get off them, not because I blame medication for being evil. As for the tapering; My dosage was cut in half in January 2020 and I vowed to be free of medications by January 2021. The dose is relatively low enough to go cold turkey. 

Tryptamine said: 

It's actually pretty dangerous to stop abruptly, depending on what your dose was. You can get brain zaps

 

 

I am well aware. I've been having brain zaps every third time I move my head to the left or right. It's like life is lagging sometimes and it does distract me from forming fully coherent thoughts. However this will pass, I did not know that brain zaps were dangerous per se. 

I still hope that the giddyness and joy I have felt for the past three days aren't just a rebound effect from my serotonin not being regulated by pills any longer. 

 Congrats! 

Switch to meth for a greater joy

MissCommunication said: 

chimpi said: 

Alright, I'll explain my reasoning. 

When I was deeply miserable I remember taking the antidepressants and feeling relief from the numbness that they brought. I think those meds serve to bring a person up to a certain level of stability, so as to provide a basis for personal improvement. However, I found that the relief of these pills doesn't follow a progressive or proportional growth model. When I was at, say, 20% contentment then the pills allowed me to function from a 40% basis. Having grown to a 60% or even 70% contentment rate, the pills still drew me back to 40%. They don't necessarily made me happier, they simply stunted part of my brain and muffled my internal dialogue so that I could better focus on recovery. 

This has been my experience too. I think initially ADs can help you from spiralling lower into depression but after you stabilize and climb back up there's just an overall flat effect that makes life feel dull and colourless. I think once your brain adapts to having balanced chemicals your body seems to try to maintain that, so going off of them isn't as noticeable, at least it wasn't for me. I quit cold turkey too.

When'd you quit? 

MissCommunication said: 

chimpi said: 

Alright, I'll explain my reasoning. 

When I was deeply miserable I remember taking the antidepressants and feeling relief from the numbness that they brought. I think those meds serve to bring a person up to a certain level of stability, so as to provide a basis for personal improvement. However, I found that the relief of these pills doesn't follow a progressive or proportional growth model. When I was at, say, 20% contentment then the pills allowed me to function from a 40% basis. Having grown to a 60% or even 70% contentment rate, the pills still drew me back to 40%. They don't necessarily made me happier, they simply stunted part of my brain and muffled my internal dialogue so that I could better focus on recovery. 

This has been my experience too. I think initially ADs can help you from spiralling lower into depression but after you stabilize and climb back up there's just an overall flat effect that makes life feel dull and colourless. I think once your brain adapts to having balanced chemicals your body seems to try to maintain that, so going off of them isn't as noticeable, at least it wasn't for me. I quit cold turkey too.

I think at this stage it's going to depend on dosage and length of application. This morning I'm still feeling an occasional zap but it's getting less strong each day. 

What made you quit?

chimpi said: 

MissCommunication said: 

chimpi said: 

Alright, I'll explain my reasoning. 

When I was deeply miserable I remember taking the antidepressants and feeling relief from the numbness that they brought. I think those meds serve to bring a person up to a certain level of stability, so as to provide a basis for personal improvement. However, I found that the relief of these pills doesn't follow a progressive or proportional growth model. When I was at, say, 20% contentment then the pills allowed me to function from a 40% basis. Having grown to a 60% or even 70% contentment rate, the pills still drew me back to 40%. They don't necessarily made me happier, they simply stunted part of my brain and muffled my internal dialogue so that I could better focus on recovery. 

This has been my experience too. I think initially ADs can help you from spiralling lower into depression but after you stabilize and climb back up there's just an overall flat effect that makes life feel dull and colourless. I think once your brain adapts to having balanced chemicals your body seems to try to maintain that, so going off of them isn't as noticeable, at least it wasn't for me. I quit cold turkey too.

I think at this stage it's going to depend on dosage and length of application. This morning I'm still feeling an occasional zap but it's getting less strong each day. 

What made you quit?

 

Same as you, I think. I just felt overtime that I was feeling flat and I missed the rofl, belly laughs. My anxiety was better, not cured but not debilitating, and overall depression was just a mood, like I imagine most people feel versus a well of never ending despair. I was on ADs for about 1.5 years and off for about 4 years but I started taking trazedone recently to help with insomnia. I think I told you this before lol. It's mild and kinda meh. I'm pretty inconsistent in my use. My anxiety can be pretty epic and I don't expect I might not need meds at times in my life but I just try to cope. I think I now know the difference between just a rough time and a potential spiral - fingers crossed.

Exercise and being outside daily can save me a whole lot of trouble so I try to do it daily. I'm not against meds because I find the ones I have taken are mild overall and helped; I just do what I need at the time to not be a non-functioning mess who can't work.  

Sorry you are dealing with the zaps. :( They should pass soon. 

MissCommunication said:

I started taking trazedone recently to help with insomnia.

So you haven't quit AD's then?