I have not felt this good in the 6 years since I've started taking them. The meds really saved me the first 3 years but the process during which I stabilised my life and got my act together came at the cost of something else. I have been feeling numb, like my internal dialogue was muffled. Like something had been suppressing my mind.
I think the meds made me more stupid and hampered my creativity. I am already feeling that a pressure has been lifted off my brain and I've noticed an increased ability to express myself and turning thoughts into coherent sentences, and forming linguistic structures more smoothly. However I suspect it'll take a while to fully recover and readjust.
I'm overall happier. I hope it's not just some rebound effect (like my brain being hyperactive during SSRI withdrawal/sudden serotonin influx but one thing is for sure: I'm never taking those things again. Even if I relapse, I'd rather enjoy the highs and lows than suffer an existence devoid of passion
that is all