> How would my life change if I found out there's no God? I'd just kill myself. Why not? I can protect people from me and myself from others. Sounds like the safest route.
I sincerely hope you won't lose faith then. Most people are lost and afraid without someone guiding them. I am not afraid of even the valley of the shadow of death.
For me, that valley was a world without hope. But I realized I'm not helpless to change the world, and the moment I realized that, I didn't need anyone to hold my hand.
> I refuse to be someone's victim or witness other people be victims without a day of recompense. As Tryp said people with religious views tend to be high on justice as a value. I can't stand that there's someone out there especially a child being abuser, smirking and getting away with their evil deeds. There must be a God to see it and PUNISH THEM.
The way I see it is that Jesus paid attention to sinners and even favored them. I think that was for a good reason
> I know how cruel reality is and that's why there must be a judge at the end.
You're too young to understand how cruel reality is. You'll understand how cruel reality is when you're forced to abandon your ideals and exploit people for selfish reasons, or for the greater good. Which you will.
> This includes all the evil in me It must be purged day by day and I must "die to self" as the bible says. I need to purge any evil thoughts or deeds within me. I need to make this world a better place. I live not for myself but for God and others. I'm literally only alive and going to school for the sake of spreading the gospel and work for the kingdom of God.
You'll have an interesting future ahead of you. If you want to help the world, then learn everything you can now. Be everything that God expects of you, and more.
> If you really care to learn watch these carefully...
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> Then you'll understand me.
While I don't understand you, I was a religious nutcase some 10 years ago. I was preaching on an e-forum to cure sociopaths, a bit like you I guess. I didn't quite hold that eternal punishment ideal but instead thought of God as a loving and compassionate God. I was studying physics and I dedicated everything I did to a higher ideal.
I'm still Christian, and I think I am probably Jesus Christ reborn. I've started to read the Bible for "clues" and "directions." Let's see where this goes.