Recently my friend has been championing rights for retards. And I couldn't really figure out why. Then I spent the day with his kid. His kid is retarded. I don't think the doctors have said this officially. But, he acts like an autistic child. Keeps repeating stupid things, like i'm a boy. i'm a boy. i like this color, i like this color. He copies what people say, but I don't think he really grasps what he's saying. He's also been a little shit lately. Mouthing off, and trying to hit people. I hate his retard guts. Sometimes I envision myself choking this kid out. I wouldn't do it, unless I had nothing to live for. But still, it's nice to think about. I hate the bastard. He gets away with everything and is fugly as hell. Maybe I can teach him to put a fork in a light socket or something... Anyway thought you'd like to know.
Do you laugh because he's stupid and nasty? I think the first step is to acknowledge those thoughts that please you, and then think about why those thoughts are so pleasant. I understand you want to teach a child to kill themselves. Why do such thoughts please you?
When do you spend time with that child? Do you have any connection to the child's mother? Maybe you should not think about how killing a child might please you temporarily, but think about your life later, in 10 years, and what could have become of the child and of you, then the act is suddenly not so tempting. Do you practice a lot of the same line of thinking, or is this just a temporary, small, and passing thought you thought to share with me?
Thank you for being so sincere spite.
Like you, I sometimes fight my inner devil. I could pretend the devil doesn’t exist, but then I would just be lying to you, others and myself.