I've been drinking a lot this week, so I didn't understand what was happening. I did respond on Discord. Sorry for being aloof.
I do care about what's happening so let me know.
I know when in the midst of substances that it can be easy to blame "that you" instead of yourself, but to people around you they'll be taking you in as if you're just one "you" if they themselves can't (or refused to) relate to the mindset.
As a matter of personal responsibility, handle this as if you did whatever it is you did sober and they'll think you mean it more.
I've been drinking a lot this week, so I didn't understand what was happening. I did respond on Discord. Sorry for being aloof.
I do care about what's happening so let me know.
I know when in the midst of substances that it can be easy to blame "that you" instead of yourself, but to people around you they'll be taking you in as if you're just one "you" if they themselves can't (or refused to) relate to the mindset.
As a matter of personal responsibility, handle this as if you did whatever it is you did sober and they'll think you mean it more.
I think she understands. I apologize, because I am flawed. It's hard for me to be on top of all of the things I'm supposed to be on top of. But the concern is genuine.
I've been drinking a lot this week, so I didn't understand what was happening. I did respond on Discord. Sorry for being aloof.
I do care about what's happening so let me know.
I know when in the midst of substances that it can be easy to blame "that you" instead of yourself, but to people around you they'll be taking you in as if you're just one "you" if they themselves can't (or refused to) relate to the mindset.
As a matter of personal responsibility, handle this as if you did whatever it is you did sober and they'll think you mean it more.I think she understands.
You shouldn't coast on this, people's patience have limits, and her history has already worn that quite thin despite her room to relate to your hunger.
I apologize, because I am flawed.
This is less of an apology and more of you making excuses.
We're all flawed, and we're stuck taking responsibility over our actions, and you are too. Even if what you did was while you were blackout drunk, it's not like it never happened, and if you keep being all "I am flawed" instead of trying to get better, then you're enabling it to keep happening.
It's not their responsibility to tolerate you, it's your responsibility to be tolerable. I relate to the vice of hungers, but I also feel fully responsible for anything I do on a drug and otherwise can't relate to splitting the blame like that. Even if I do something weird on LSD, that's *me* doing it. Even in an episode I take full responsibility.
It's hard for me to be on top of all of the things I'm supposed to be on top of. But the concern is genuine.
Instead of pitying yourself, try to be a better person.
You don't have to be a financial success to be a decent person.
I don't take it as an attack, I'm actually pretty chill reading this. And I appreciate the outside input.
The reason I tell people it I've been intoxicated, it's not because I'm trying to avoid responsibility. It's because I lose my filter, and I'm not exactly the same person.
I've yelled at you in person before. It wasn't that I was so angry at you, it was that all the barriers to me controlling myself mentally were broken down, chemically. My point is that it does make a difference. You're not much of a drinker, so I'm not sure if you get where I'm coming from.
I'm not concerned if people appreciate my sentiments or not. I put them out there, I don't even need appreciation. I'm doing this out of kindness. If I did it wrong, then I fucked up. That's fine with me.
Also, I try to be a better person. But I know I'm human. That's why I said that I can't be perfect. That's just reality, and I'm not stressing out over that. Hopefully that all makes sense.
You're not much of a drinker, so I'm not sure if you get where I'm coming from.
I was following until you got to this excuse.
I'm fairly familiar with how alcoholism affects people, and the way that it destabilizes their lives is practically a pre-written script.
This excuse you're using here is by design meant to distance yourself from the attacker, to shroud yourself with the belief of being "misunderstood". It's a justification to otherwise keep rolling down the path you're already on, instead seeing this hindrance as something you can excuse by just announcing it in advance.
Like, I announce my schizophrenia in advance, and those episodes happen without me having to crack open a bottle. Even within that handicap I still take full responsibility for my actions when behaving "unlike myself", as it was still something that others had to deal with.
It's about them. Whatever you do without witnesses is between you and whatever you find yourself answering to when you're by yourself, but what you do towards others is something they have to hold onto.
I'm not concerned if people appreciate my sentiments or not. I put them out there, I don't even need appreciation. I'm doing this out of kindness. If I did it wrong, then I fucked up. That's fine with me.
If you weren't concerned about it you wouldn't apologize or make excuses, you'd just be one of the forum drunks unabashedly.
Also, I try to be a better person. But I know I'm human. That's why I said that I can't be perfect. That's just reality, and I'm not stressing out over that. Hopefully that all makes sense.
It's why these truths are stated that means anything here, not just plainly that the words you're choosing happen to be true. You say "I'm human" to live with yourself and figure that others should live with it too.
We're all human, but we aren't all making the same exact mistakes. How many of them allow themselves to just do whatever they want just because "human"?
Ok. Well, I will tell you that I find your response annoying. I'll go into it, just letting you know.
I knew that what got you tripped up would be barbed. I'll talk about it.
You're upset because you thought I was delegitmazing your perspective. Yes, I can use alcoholism as a tool of deflection. I generally don't. I'm really quick, I don't need alcohol as an excuse. I could come up with anything.
I'm trying to tell you that when I bring it up, my angle is not pure manipulation. You're projecting onto me with that. I get your point that you downplay your schizophrenia. I'm just not interested in downplaying anything.
I say that I'm human, because I am. What do you want me to do? I can't be perfect, not even remotely close. What do you want me to do?
You're upset because you thought I was delegitmazing your perspective. Yes, I can use alcoholism as a tool of deflection. I generally don't. I'm really quick, I don't need alcohol as an excuse. I could come up with anything.
You've coasted on it for a pretty long time now, it's gone from quirk to trope through your use of it as an excuse more than your times being intoxicated.
We've had a lot of people come on here intoxicated, but how it becomes their identity is over how much they blame it instead of themselves.
I'm trying to tell you that when I bring it up, my angle is not pure manipulation.
"Pure manipulation" makes it sound like it's meant to be Machiavellian or some nonsense. I'm not calling you an emotional vampire, I'm just pointing out the language of a chronic user. People who are used to this sort of speech are going to judge you over it for what it shows about your character more than your habit.
It's instead meant to elicit pity, which goes against your self-concept when you feel like you're supposed to be taken seriously. You can't be both pitiable and respectable, you have to pick one.
You're projecting onto me with that. I get your point that you downplay your schizophrenia. I'm just not interested in downplaying anything.
Yes, you are, through the excuses. You expect people to just tolerate it because you're "human" or some nonsense, but you still even now ignore what they're having to deal with.
"It's not me it's the drink, IT MAKES ME A DIFFERENT PERSON!"
I say that I'm human, because I am. What do you want me to do? I can't be perfect, not even remotely close. What do you want me to do?
Take responsibility for it. You can be a drunk all you like, that's not what I'm on about.
There's respectable drunks in our history, like Oscar Wilde, who lived with such a vice and didn't pry at others to be okay with it.
