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Live Tweeting While Watching Black Mirror Seasons 5 (spoiler warning)


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Except I'm doing it in this thread because I don't want to ruin my twitter 

 

Episode 1 

 

This was so boring. What the fuck... this isn't black mirror. 

 

Seems like it was written by a gay 12 year old. A porn fantasy with black mirror themed sci fi concepts coated over it (that are from last season). 

last edit on 6/9/2019 4:57:46 PM
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black mirror is only clever to dumb people

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Episode 2 

 

Okay this is more interesting. I love this actor from the Sherlock series, he's perfect, absolutely perfect for this role. I love this. 

 

Once he holds someone at gun point and goes on his psycho rant, I'm just sitting here smiling. 

 

*dark etherial music plays* 

 

"ah... now this is black mirror." 

 

slightly humorous, slightly dark, slightly twisted, implies ideas about larger concepts regarding modern society, the characters are realistic, natural and human. 

 

LOL I love it so much. I'm smiling at the humor and comedy of the situation and slightly horrified/suspenseful at the same time. This is black mirror lol 

 

 

okay I'm annoyed at the ending... wanted to know if the hostage lived. fucking pricks. 

 

it started off like black mirror but then... it went no where. flop. 

 

like they tried to imply larger concepts that were deeply meaningful but instead these concepts were cheesy and overdone 

 

and the plot didn't thicken the way it normally does in black mirror, twisting and bending unexpectedly. 

 

the suspense... peaked and then platuaed... to lameness. 

 

and the ending was the lamest of all. 

 

tanked.

last edit on 6/9/2019 5:54:27 PM
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Episode 3 

 

So far it's starting out incredibly cheesy 

 

Ugh... I'm sorry Miley Cyrus but you aren't "talent"... you think you are, but you are a result of circumstance. There is nothing special or great about her voice. She doesn't belong, in the creative community, she sucks. 

 

It's all cheese. 

 

I can only assume they hired her for this part because they couldn't get Ariana Grande. She may of even been involved in the production of the show- financially. Granting her, a lot of control in how things go. 

 

Which would explain why the show is tanking so badly this season. 

 

 

15 minutes in and I'm still bored. Not a good sign. 

 

This is so incredibly lame dude... Ugh... I wanna quit watching honestly that's how stupid this is. 

 

But I wanna finish just for the sake of being able to confidently say, 

 

Episode 3 in total- tanked. 

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c4 said: 

black mirror is only clever to dumb people

The first two seasons were actually pretty good. 

The plot's been pure downhill, but the acting is pretty solid. I like that they go for new actors with every episode to show us a wide range of talent, even if their prompts overtime become more... expected

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Then girl they chose for the "innocent high schooler" is too old for the role. 

 

Minor criticism, it wouldn't be a big deal if she was better at playing a kid and looked more like one. 

 

But instead the whole thing just looks sort of off to me... it ruins it when the characters aren't excellent actors. Upping the cheese level astronomically. 

 

It's such a vast contrast to look at this girls acting, compared to the previous episode with the guy who starred in Sherlock... who is a phenomenal, actor. 

 

Meanwhile we're watching some depressed pop star unravel. 

 

This is hardly a black mirror episode, once again. 

 

The only thing that is "black mirror" about it, is the fact that they have the dude studying mice randomly in the basement, analyzing their behavior- and then to contrast you have the AI bot that is mimicking the girls behavior I caught the parallel- and that's a technological advancement so... yeah black mirror-esc to include that but once again- 

 

it's just a random show, with old Black mirror concepts from previous seasons coated over it. 

 

This is looking like a Miley Cyrus show. Like it's all about her. smh... which makes it so fucking stupid. 

 

If they had chosen a girl who wasn't Miley Cyrus it would of made it better. Like, just make up a celebrity. 

 

"Ashley 2" sounds so stupid... they put zero thought into this episode. The doll idea.. the whole thing is just a really stupid cheesy idea I don't know what they were thinking. 

 

It reads like a rough draft. Someone should of tweaked it past this point but instead they just shat it out. 

 

 

Also can we please get rid of the dad's mustache? What is up with all the mustache's in this episode? A lot of mustache's.. no one looks like this in 2019. 

 

And the rat car is stupid and wasn't necessary for character development or plot. They couldn't of done it less blatantly and more realistically. 

 

 

This is getting more and more retarded as it goes on... now the girl has fallen on the stage oh poor you. Now she's gonna stomp off to her bedroom and have a pity party. Oh poor you. Overly attached to a pop star/doll girl with a dead mom... So fucking retarded. 

 

Sappy. Over emotional. 

 

The other characters, not even the main characters have any character development. 

 

To be fair Miley is doing a fine job with acting. The rest look like... some sort of indie film actors that... it's their first real job. Which is probably true actually lol. 

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Look we all know that the life style of a pop star is difficult, over rated. Stressful. Causes PTSD and all sorts of depression, isolation, etc. 

 

It's not... an interesting concept to watch. Though. Like this isn't entertainment. 

 

Watching people have pity parties isn't what Black Mirror is about. 

 

This is like, literally the equivalent, of a cheesy soap opera on those weird Hallmark channels my grandma always watches. 

 

So, fucking, bogus. 

 

 

Also, it makes no sense that they put a camera in her dressing room. 

 

But I guess for the sake of the plot it makes sense because they do everything illegally apparently. 

 

 

Oh my god.. the stupid lady with the "my parents died" speech. 

 

(watching Miley Cyrus and some middle aged lady fight over each other on their periods and crying) 

 

... so who wrote this fucking episode? Miley Cyrus? 

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Okay great so now... Miley Cyrus is passed out on pills 

 

and we have rat boi ignoring his responsibilities as a father in the basement and killing rats. 

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ugh (watching the body scan scene) 

 

this sucks so fucking muchhhhhh I don't wanna watch this anymoreeeee thats how bad it issss 

 

its cheesier than sci-fi written in the 80's... the 80's could of come up with something better than this. 

 

conceptually. 

 

like "omg we're gonna extort songs out of her brain for money while she's in a chemically induced coma"

 

the news scenes are even *worse* than the show itself... playing on the tv's. "my Ashley 2 freaked out!" "I didn't know she was allergic to shell fish" 

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lol when the Ashley doll starts banging itself into a wall 

 

here we go.... let me guess. 

 

coma Ashley is gonna talk to them through the doll. 

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