Hmm, you are quite an interesting fellow. I might consider joining the discord. What kind of people is it that you exactly want to kill? When did you start having these homicidal thoughts?
You should join us. There's about 25 people in there now.
The kind of people I've desired to kill tends to vary. Mostly random strangers I see when out and about. I'll see that one person that seems like ideal prey and then all I can think about is killing them. It's usually women more so then men, but also men at times.
Sex and murder is very much intertwined for me. It excites and arouses me. Looking for someone to kill is like looking for a one-night stand. The more they sexually appeal to me, the more I know I'll enjoy it.
I started having homicidal thoughts from a very young age, before I even started school. It wasn't sexual back then. It was just thoughts of killing people. As time went on the desire to kill evolved to include torture and rape. I got the first real urge to kill someone when I was in my teens and actually planned their murder, but I didn't go through with it because my mother found the bullet I was planning to kill this bitch with. I'd written her name on it.
The urge to kill comes and goes. I don't hate anyone and I'm not always angry when I want to kill people. Mostly it's about wanting power/control (wanting a different kind of power and control than I already have) and the desire to do something dangerous and risky.