Sociopath Community

They can be good in the sense they teach you to respond to situations differently.

But you have to respect them. I've willingly walked away from them before because I figured I got what I wanted from them. But other times, I started to like them too much and almost died from withdrawal when I ran out. The withdrawals are pure hell, potentially fatal.

I would say they are not good for you, they are good with short-term usage to overcome emotional obstacles. They are tools which do something specific, and should not be misused.

PalePeach said: 

My experience with benzos:

 

So it was the anniversary of my brother's death 2014. I was living with my ex at the time we will call him Bob. His best friend Joe's house burned down so jor was crashing with us for a month. In the middle of the month he wanted to stop being a burden to us so he moved to Baltimore to stay with his internet girlfriend. He never told us her name, but he called her "Nuffin Muffin" so imma keep that nick namefor her.

Anyway it's the anniversary of my brother's death and a girl I'm friends with gae me a xanax bar. Idr what mg those are but I ate half. then the other half 30 minutes later. Maybe 15 minutes had passed and I get a call from Joe. He's been in Baltimore for 3 days. On the first night there Nuffin Muffin decided she didnt like him as much irl as online so she gave him a taser and kicked him out. He had been living on the streets with a group of homeless kids and the leader was now threatening to mug him for his shirt. He asked me to drive down and come get him since Bob didnt drive. 

Now I had just taken a whole canny bar. but luckily I lived at the trap so we always had peeps in and out. A guy I'll call Dave happened to be there and he was rather fond of Joe so he offered to drive. This was back when I lived in PA so it was a long ass fucking drive. Like 3 hours. At some point the xanax hits, I'm high as a kite, I'm throwing up everywhere. In the car. Out ththe window. All over myself. I dont remember this much. But it was described to my later. I'm now covered in my own puke. Luckily Dave is a bro, he has a bag of clothes packed in his trunk for nights he stays with his gf. The middle seat pulls down for trunk access so I climb in, bob holds a blanket over the opening and I change into homie's pjs then bob tosses my puke clothes out the window.

I'm fucking lit. 3 hour drive felt like 15 minutes. We get into the city, all the sudden turns are making my tummy churn again so bob climbs up front and i lay down in the back. Plot twist. David doesnt have his glasses and drives the wrong way down a one way. Gets pulled over by a cop immediately. Luckily everyone in the car is white, and Dave is only 17 and looks like a nerdy ass chess club kid. I pretend to be asleep. The cop is like "is that girl dead? Is she on drugs?" They convince him I'm asleep and off we go.

I know we parked and had to walk like 25 minutes to get to where Joe was but i dont remember any of that. Next thing I remember we are in the inner harbor surrounded by a big group of gutter punks and cyber goths. There had been a huge rave 5 days before. Rave kids came from all over the country to attend but were too poor to get home so they joined an already massive tribe of homeless kids in Bmore. It was fucking surreal man. To my left chicks in latex and black feather angelwings, to my right dirty skater types in torn clothes clutching their backpacks. 

We find joe in the center of the group between a suuuuuper tall blonde guy in a too small shirt, a short black kid with crazy eyes, and what appears to be their group's leader.

I have never seen anything like this before. Dude was maybe 25, filthy. His "shirt" was really just a vest made of scraps of other shirts sewn together. Old ass dirtyVan's, studded belt, wearing a wide brim had that had "Actual Trash" written in sharpie. He had the words "NO FRIENDS" Tattooed on the right side of his face. He is adamant Joe is not getting out of their clan alive without giving up his shirt. Joe, wanting to impress Nuffin Muffin had worn a pastel pink button up oxford. Dude came from money and he was dressed to the nines. 

I'm distracted looking at the craziest lord of the flies gang of scene kids I'd ever seen when suddenly I realize we are in danger. While I was zoning out, No Friends had honed in on Dave- our ride home, crazy eyes was now behind Bob and I with a pocket knife in his hand, the whole circle hand become smaller around us. 

Tall Blondie, he's from Cumberland MD and he wants to go home. 19 years old, He's been homeless out here for 4 months and just wants to go back to his mom's house. No friends tells us joe can leave if he gives up his shirt, the rest of us can leave if we take blonde guy home. 

Crazy eyes knife guy moves around into my line of sight and i get distracted again from the convo watching him, worried he's gonna come up and stab me. Eventually joe takes off his pink oxford and gives it to No Friends. The dude is ecstatic. The vest actually matched his whole street punk aesthetic better but nonetheless we were allowed to leave. 

Aparently they struck a deal that we were spending the night in the city and wouldcome back for blondievthe next day. Of course we didnt go back for blondie we skedaddled back home with joe complaining about his shirt. I dont even remember the ride home. Slept 16 hours straight.

Dave came by the next day, told me to look at his car. The side was covered in puke. I had no memory of pukingthe day before.

 

So yeah I dont do benzos. Not really wise to be that out of it in such a dangerous situation. I wonder what every happened to old No Friends and the tall boy who wanted to go home.

Haha that story was golden. Baltimore really is such a bastion of culture and good sense.

I agree with what tryp said. Helps with emergency situations for PTSD and panic attacks but should only be used for that purpose. When the panic attack is too severe that even normal medication regiment and therapeutic tools and coping mechanisms don’t work, it’s lasted too long and won’t stop and is causing you to physically shake, vomit, and have suicidal thoughts or feel unsafe. 

But those are sort of like the flu and, don’t happen every day. So just like you take antibiotic rarely, you take benzo that rarely as well. 

Bump!

Tryptamine said: 

They can be good in the sense they teach you to respond to situations differently.

But you have to respect them. I've willingly walked away from them before because I figured I got what I wanted from them. But other times, I started to like them too much and almost died from withdrawal when I ran out. The withdrawals are pure hell, potentially fatal.

I would say they are not good for you, they are good with short-term usage to overcome emotional obstacles. They are tools which do something specific, and should not be misused.

 For how long have you been using and what with that withdrawal episode?

How long have you been using/how often(daily/etc?) when you manage to willingly walk away?

I used to enjoy benzos with alcohol because it allowed me to circumvent my crippling insomnia 

PalePeach said: 

My experience with benzos:

 

So it was the anniversary of my brother's death 2014. I was living with my ex at the time we will call him Bob. His best friend Joe's house burned down so jor was crashing with us for a month. In the middle of the month he wanted to stop being a burden to us so he moved to Baltimore to stay with his internet girlfriend. He never told us her name, but he called her "Nuffin Muffin" so imma keep that nick namefor her.

Anyway it's the anniversary of my brother's death and a girl I'm friends with gae me a xanax bar. Idr what mg those are but I ate half. then the other half 30 minutes later. Maybe 15 minutes had passed and I get a call from Joe. He's been in Baltimore for 3 days. On the first night there Nuffin Muffin decided she didnt like him as much irl as online so she gave him a taser and kicked him out. He had been living on the streets with a group of homeless kids and the leader was now threatening to mug him for his shirt. He asked me to drive down and come get him since Bob didnt drive. 

Now I had just taken a whole canny bar. but luckily I lived at the trap so we always had peeps in and out. A guy I'll call Dave happened to be there and he was rather fond of Joe so he offered to drive. This was back when I lived in PA so it was a long ass fucking drive. Like 3 hours. At some point the xanax hits, I'm high as a kite, I'm throwing up everywhere. In the car. Out ththe window. All over myself. I dont remember this much. But it was described to my later. I'm now covered in my own puke. Luckily Dave is a bro, he has a bag of clothes packed in his trunk for nights he stays with his gf. The middle seat pulls down for trunk access so I climb in, bob holds a blanket over the opening and I change into homie's pjs then bob tosses my puke clothes out the window.

I'm fucking lit. 3 hour drive felt like 15 minutes. We get into the city, all the sudden turns are making my tummy churn again so bob climbs up front and i lay down in the back. Plot twist. David doesnt have his glasses and drives the wrong way down a one way. Gets pulled over by a cop immediately. Luckily everyone in the car is white, and Dave is only 17 and looks like a nerdy ass chess club kid. I pretend to be asleep. The cop is like "is that girl dead? Is she on drugs?" They convince him I'm asleep and off we go.

I know we parked and had to walk like 25 minutes to get to where Joe was but i dont remember any of that. Next thing I remember we are in the inner harbor surrounded by a big group of gutter punks and cyber goths. There had been a huge rave 5 days before. Rave kids came from all over the country to attend but were too poor to get home so they joined an already massive tribe of homeless kids in Bmore. It was fucking surreal man. To my left chicks in latex and black feather angelwings, to my right dirty skater types in torn clothes clutching their backpacks. 

We find joe in the center of the group between a suuuuuper tall blonde guy in a too small shirt, a short black kid with crazy eyes, and what appears to be their group's leader.

I have never seen anything like this before. Dude was maybe 25, filthy. His "shirt" was really just a vest made of scraps of other shirts sewn together. Old ass dirtyVan's, studded belt, wearing a wide brim had that had "Actual Trash" written in sharpie. He had the words "NO FRIENDS" Tattooed on the right side of his face. He is adamant Joe is not getting out of their clan alive without giving up his shirt. Joe, wanting to impress Nuffin Muffin had worn a pastel pink button up oxford. Dude came from money and he was dressed to the nines. 

I'm distracted looking at the craziest lord of the flies gang of scene kids I'd ever seen when suddenly I realize we are in danger. While I was zoning out, No Friends had honed in on Dave- our ride home, crazy eyes was now behind Bob and I with a pocket knife in his hand, the whole circle hand become smaller around us. 

Tall Blondie, he's from Cumberland MD and he wants to go home. 19 years old, He's been homeless out here for 4 months and just wants to go back to his mom's house. No friends tells us joe can leave if he gives up his shirt, the rest of us can leave if we take blonde guy home. 

Crazy eyes knife guy moves around into my line of sight and i get distracted again from the convo watching him, worried he's gonna come up and stab me. Eventually joe takes off his pink oxford and gives it to No Friends. The dude is ecstatic. The vest actually matched his whole street punk aesthetic better but nonetheless we were allowed to leave. 

Aparently they struck a deal that we were spending the night in the city and wouldcome back for blondievthe next day. Of course we didnt go back for blondie we skedaddled back home with joe complaining about his shirt. I dont even remember the ride home. Slept 16 hours straight.

Dave came by the next day, told me to look at his car. The side was covered in puke. I had no memory of pukingthe day before.

 

So yeah I dont do benzos. Not really wise to be that out of it in such a dangerous situation. I wonder what every happened to old No Friends and the tall boy who wanted to go home.

 I'm not reading that.

Long story short, drugs will fucking ruin your life. Tread very, very, VERY lightly and with caution and be as EDUCATED as possible about what you are doing, surround yourselves with baby sitters and friends who are trust worthy (who you’d trust your life with) who know about the drugs you want to do, and who know them; the street life and the life of obtaining them illegally very very VERY well. 

There is a safe way to go about things, and an unsafe way. Do it the smart way and adhere to this advice as if your life depends on it and *maybe* you won’t end up fucked like most people who do drugs with reckless abandon and without precaution what so ever. 

watch this documentary. 

seek out harm reduction networks and websites, http://www.bluelight.org a place that will answer a lot of questions you have about drugs. Use the search feature on nodsquad... https://officialnodsquad.tumblr.com or use the conversion chart found linked at the top to make sure you don’t die. 

PalePeach said: 

My experience with benzos:

 

So it was the anniversary of my brother's death 2014. I was living with my ex at the time we will call him Bob. His best friend Joe's house burned down so jor was crashing with us for a month. In the middle of the month he wanted to stop being a burden to us so he moved to Baltimore to stay with his internet girlfriend. He never told us her name, but he called her "Nuffin Muffin" so imma keep that nick namefor her.

Anyway it's the anniversary of my brother's death and a girl I'm friends with gae me a xanax bar. Idr what mg those are but I ate half. then the other half 30 minutes later. Maybe 15 minutes had passed and I get a call from Joe. He's been in Baltimore for 3 days. On the first night there Nuffin Muffin decided she didnt like him as much irl as online so she gave him a taser and kicked him out. He had been living on the streets with a group of homeless kids and the leader was now threatening to mug him for his shirt. He asked me to drive down and come get him since Bob didnt drive. 

Now I had just taken a whole canny bar. but luckily I lived at the trap so we always had peeps in and out. A guy I'll call Dave happened to be there and he was rather fond of Joe so he offered to drive. This was back when I lived in PA so it was a long ass fucking drive. Like 3 hours. At some point the xanax hits, I'm high as a kite, I'm throwing up everywhere. In the car. Out ththe window. All over myself. I dont remember this much. But it was described to my later. I'm now covered in my own puke. Luckily Dave is a bro, he has a bag of clothes packed in his trunk for nights he stays with his gf. The middle seat pulls down for trunk access so I climb in, bob holds a blanket over the opening and I change into homie's pjs then bob tosses my puke clothes out the window.

I'm fucking lit. 3 hour drive felt like 15 minutes. We get into the city, all the sudden turns are making my tummy churn again so bob climbs up front and i lay down in the back. Plot twist. David doesnt have his glasses and drives the wrong way down a one way. Gets pulled over by a cop immediately. Luckily everyone in the car is white, and Dave is only 17 and looks like a nerdy ass chess club kid. I pretend to be asleep. The cop is like "is that girl dead? Is she on drugs?" They convince him I'm asleep and off we go.

I know we parked and had to walk like 25 minutes to get to where Joe was but i dont remember any of that. Next thing I remember we are in the inner harbor surrounded by a big group of gutter punks and cyber goths. There had been a huge rave 5 days before. Rave kids came from all over the country to attend but were too poor to get home so they joined an already massive tribe of homeless kids in Bmore. It was fucking surreal man. To my left chicks in latex and black feather angelwings, to my right dirty skater types in torn clothes clutching their backpacks. 

We find joe in the center of the group between a suuuuuper tall blonde guy in a too small shirt, a short black kid with crazy eyes, and what appears to be their group's leader.

I have never seen anything like this before. Dude was maybe 25, filthy. His "shirt" was really just a vest made of scraps of other shirts sewn together. Old ass dirtyVan's, studded belt, wearing a wide brim had that had "Actual Trash" written in sharpie. He had the words "NO FRIENDS" Tattooed on the right side of his face. He is adamant Joe is not getting out of their clan alive without giving up his shirt. Joe, wanting to impress Nuffin Muffin had worn a pastel pink button up oxford. Dude came from money and he was dressed to the nines. 

I'm distracted looking at the craziest lord of the flies gang of scene kids I'd ever seen when suddenly I realize we are in danger. While I was zoning out, No Friends had honed in on Dave- our ride home, crazy eyes was now behind Bob and I with a pocket knife in his hand, the whole circle hand become smaller around us. 

Tall Blondie, he's from Cumberland MD and he wants to go home. 19 years old, He's been homeless out here for 4 months and just wants to go back to his mom's house. No friends tells us joe can leave if he gives up his shirt, the rest of us can leave if we take blonde guy home. 

Crazy eyes knife guy moves around into my line of sight and i get distracted again from the convo watching him, worried he's gonna come up and stab me. Eventually joe takes off his pink oxford and gives it to No Friends. The dude is ecstatic. The vest actually matched his whole street punk aesthetic better but nonetheless we were allowed to leave. 

Aparently they struck a deal that we were spending the night in the city and wouldcome back for blondievthe next day. Of course we didnt go back for blondie we skedaddled back home with joe complaining about his shirt. I dont even remember the ride home. Slept 16 hours straight.

Dave came by the next day, told me to look at his car. The side was covered in puke. I had no memory of pukingthe day before.

 

So yeah I dont do benzos. Not really wise to be that out of it in such a dangerous situation. I wonder what every happened to old No Friends and the tall boy who wanted to go home.

 druggie

Blanc said: 

Long story short, drugs will fucking ruin your life. Tread very, very, VERY lightly and with caution and be as EDUCATED as possible about what you are doing, surround yourselves with baby sitters and friends who are trust worthy (who you’d trust your life with) who know about the drugs you want to do, and who know them; the street life and the life of obtaining them illegally very very VERY well. 

There is a safe way to go about things, and an unsafe way. Do it the smart way and adhere to this advice as if your life depends on it and *maybe* you won’t end up fucked like most people who do drugs with reckless abandon and without precaution what so ever. 

 

watch this documentary. 

seek out harm reduction networks and websites, http://www.bluelight.org a place that will answer a lot of questions you have about drugs. Use the search feature on nodsquad... https://officialnodsquad.tumblr.com or use the conversion chart found linked at the top to make sure you don’t die. 

 Please educate yourself before you try drugs

TL;Dr benzos bad, a day+ of no memories, threw them away and wouldn't recommend