Sociopath Community

My experience with benzos:

So it was the anniversary of my brother's death 2014. I was living with my ex at the time we will call him Bob. His best friend Joe's house burned down so jor was crashing with us for a month. In the middle of the month he wanted to stop being a burden to us so he moved to Baltimore to stay with his internet girlfriend. He never told us her name, but he called her "Nuffin Muffin" so imma keep that nick namefor her.

Anyway it's the anniversary of my brother's death and a girl I'm friends with gae me a xanax bar. Idr what mg those are but I ate half. then the other half 30 minutes later. Maybe 15 minutes had passed and I get a call from Joe. He's been in Baltimore for 3 days. On the first night there Nuffin Muffin decided she didnt like him as much irl as online so she gave him a taser and kicked him out. He had been living on the streets with a group of homeless kids and the leader was now threatening to mug him for his shirt. He asked me to drive down and come get him since Bob didnt drive. 

Now I had just taken a whole canny bar. but luckily I lived at the trap so we always had peeps in and out. A guy I'll call Dave happened to be there and he was rather fond of Joe so he offered to drive. This was back when I lived in PA so it was a long ass fucking drive. Like 3 hours. At some point the xanax hits, I'm high as a kite, I'm throwing up everywhere. In the car. Out ththe window. All over myself. I dont remember this much. But it was described to my later. I'm now covered in my own puke. Luckily Dave is a bro, he has a bag of clothes packed in his trunk for nights he stays with his gf. The middle seat pulls down for trunk access so I climb in, bob holds a blanket over the opening and I change into homie's pjs then bob tosses my puke clothes out the window.

I'm fucking lit. 3 hour drive felt like 15 minutes. We get into the city, all the sudden turns are making my tummy churn again so bob climbs up front and i lay down in the back. Plot twist. David doesnt have his glasses and drives the wrong way down a one way. Gets pulled over by a cop immediately. Luckily everyone in the car is white, and Dave is only 17 and looks like a nerdy ass chess club kid. I pretend to be asleep. The cop is like "is that girl dead? Is she on drugs?" They convince him I'm asleep and off we go.

I know we parked and had to walk like 25 minutes to get to where Joe was but i dont remember any of that. Next thing I remember we are in the inner harbor surrounded by a big group of gutter punks and cyber goths. There had been a huge rave 5 days before. Rave kids came from all over the country to attend but were too poor to get home so they joined an already massive tribe of homeless kids in Bmore. It was fucking surreal man. To my left chicks in latex and black feather angelwings, to my right dirty skater types in torn clothes clutching their backpacks. 

We find joe in the center of the group between a suuuuuper tall blonde guy in a too small shirt, a short black kid with crazy eyes, and what appears to be their group's leader.

I have never seen anything like this before. Dude was maybe 25, filthy. His "shirt" was really just a vest made of scraps of other shirts sewn together. Old ass dirtyVan's, studded belt, wearing a wide brim had that had "Actual Trash" written in sharpie. He had the words "NO FRIENDS" Tattooed on the right side of his face. He is adamant Joe is not getting out of their clan alive without giving up his shirt. Joe, wanting to impress Nuffin Muffin had worn a pastel pink button up oxford. Dude came from money and he was dressed to the nines. 

I'm distracted looking at the craziest lord of the flies gang of scene kids I'd ever seen when suddenly I realize we are in danger. While I was zoning out, No Friends had honed in on Dave- our ride home, crazy eyes was now behind Bob and I with a pocket knife in his hand, the whole circle hand become smaller around us. 

Tall Blondie, he's from Cumberland MD and he wants to go home. 19 years old, He's been homeless out here for 4 months and just wants to go back to his mom's house. No friends tells us joe can leave if he gives up his shirt, the rest of us can leave if we take blonde guy home. 

Crazy eyes knife guy moves around into my line of sight and i get distracted again from the convo watching him, worried he's gonna come up and stab me. Eventually joe takes off his pink oxford and gives it to No Friends. The dude is ecstatic. The vest actually matched his whole street punk aesthetic better but nonetheless we were allowed to leave. 

Aparently they struck a deal that we were spending the night in the city and wouldcome back for blondievthe next day. Of course we didnt go back for blondie we skedaddled back home with joe complaining about his shirt. I dont even remember the ride home. Slept 16 hours straight.

Dave came by the next day, told me to look at his car. The side was covered in puke. I had no memory of pukingthe day before.

So yeah I dont do benzos. Not really wise to be that out of it in such a dangerous situation. I wonder what every happened to old No Friends and the tall boy who wanted to go home.

PalePeach said: 

My experience with benzos:

 

So it was the anniversary of my brother's death 2014. I was living with my ex at the time we will call him Bob. His best friend Joe's house burned down so jor was crashing with us for a month. In the middle of the month he wanted to stop being a burden to us so he moved to Baltimore to stay with his internet girlfriend. He never told us her name, but he called her "Nuffin Muffin" so imma keep that nick namefor her.

Anyway it's the anniversary of my brother's death and a girl I'm friends with gae me a xanax bar. Idr what mg those are but I ate half. then the other half 30 minutes later. Maybe 15 minutes had passed and I get a call from Joe. He's been in Baltimore for 3 days. On the first night there Nuffin Muffin decided she didnt like him as much irl as online so she gave him a taser and kicked him out. He had been living on the streets with a group of homeless kids and the leader was now threatening to mug him for his shirt. He asked me to drive down and come get him since Bob didnt drive. 

Now I had just taken a whole canny bar. but luckily I lived at the trap so we always had peeps in and out. A guy I'll call Dave happened to be there and he was rather fond of Joe so he offered to drive. This was back when I lived in PA so it was a long ass fucking drive. Like 3 hours. At some point the xanax hits, I'm high as a kite, I'm throwing up everywhere. In the car. Out ththe window. All over myself. I dont remember this much. But it was described to my later. I'm now covered in my own puke. Luckily Dave is a bro, he has a bag of clothes packed in his trunk for nights he stays with his gf. The middle seat pulls down for trunk access so I climb in, bob holds a blanket over the opening and I change into homie's pjs then bob tosses my puke clothes out the window.

I'm fucking lit. 3 hour drive felt like 15 minutes. We get into the city, all the sudden turns are making my tummy churn again so bob climbs up front and i lay down in the back. Plot twist. David doesnt have his glasses and drives the wrong way down a one way. Gets pulled over by a cop immediately. Luckily everyone in the car is white, and Dave is only 17 and looks like a nerdy ass chess club kid. I pretend to be asleep. The cop is like "is that girl dead? Is she on drugs?" They convince him I'm asleep and off we go.

I know we parked and had to walk like 25 minutes to get to where Joe was but i dont remember any of that. Next thing I remember we are in the inner harbor surrounded by a big group of gutter punks and cyber goths. There had been a huge rave 5 days before. Rave kids came from all over the country to attend but were too poor to get home so they joined an already massive tribe of homeless kids in Bmore. It was fucking surreal man. To my left chicks in latex and black feather angelwings, to my right dirty skater types in torn clothes clutching their backpacks. 

We find joe in the center of the group between a suuuuuper tall blonde guy in a too small shirt, a short black kid with crazy eyes, and what appears to be their group's leader.

I have never seen anything like this before. Dude was maybe 25, filthy. His "shirt" was really just a vest made of scraps of other shirts sewn together. Old ass dirtyVan's, studded belt, wearing a wide brim had that had "Actual Trash" written in sharpie. He had the words "NO FRIENDS" Tattooed on the right side of his face. He is adamant Joe is not getting out of their clan alive without giving up his shirt. Joe, wanting to impress Nuffin Muffin had worn a pastel pink button up oxford. Dude came from money and he was dressed to the nines. 

I'm distracted looking at the craziest lord of the flies gang of scene kids I'd ever seen when suddenly I realize we are in danger. While I was zoning out, No Friends had honed in on Dave- our ride home, crazy eyes was now behind Bob and I with a pocket knife in his hand, the whole circle hand become smaller around us. 

Tall Blondie, he's from Cumberland MD and he wants to go home. 19 years old, He's been homeless out here for 4 months and just wants to go back to his mom's house. No friends tells us joe can leave if he gives up his shirt, the rest of us can leave if we take blonde guy home. 

Crazy eyes knife guy moves around into my line of sight and i get distracted again from the convo watching him, worried he's gonna come up and stab me. Eventually joe takes off his pink oxford and gives it to No Friends. The dude is ecstatic. The vest actually matched his whole street punk aesthetic better but nonetheless we were allowed to leave. 

Aparently they struck a deal that we were spending the night in the city and wouldcome back for blondievthe next day. Of course we didnt go back for blondie we skedaddled back home with joe complaining about his shirt. I dont even remember the ride home. Slept 16 hours straight.

Dave came by the next day, told me to look at his car. The side was covered in puke. I had no memory of pukingthe day before.

 

So yeah I dont do benzos. Not really wise to be that out of it in such a dangerous situation. I wonder what every happened to old No Friends and the tall boy who wanted to go home.

 That was a wild ride. Poor Joe :'(

I was in a car accident

I was in a car crash last week

There has been a car accident

PP Probably did green hulks, the strongest bars. It really depends on your tolerance, if you mix with alcohol, and how much you take. 

My friend died mixing Xanax and vodka so I really don’t use them.

user22212 said: 

What's your experience with them?

had too many lets put it that way... became physically addicted, had to do withdrawals, and it was hell. Not an over exaggeration, if iI could use any words to deter you from doing this to yourself let these just be the words. Don’t, do this to yourself. If you use it, use it once. Not, “intermittently.” Not, “on occasion.” Not, “just on weekends.” This isn’t like smoking pot, this like, smoking crack. That is how addictive these are, not psychologically, but physically your body will become very very ill without them. Even if you only use it once every three days, or a few times a week. Once a day even. After just a few days of doing it in a row, you’re fucked into withdrawals. And it is, impossible to beat suffering. You can’t, just go to work or school or even, enjoy reading, watching tv, scrolling on your phone. You are too sick, to move. To even type, lifting a finger. You are puking, you are shaking, in bed. You are losing your mind. You may experience intense depression and suicidal ideation, constant anxiety, and panic attacks. You’re in pain head to toe, in every fiber of your being, even if you don’t move at all. It never stops, it is not like a shiver here and there, a pain here and there. You are sick, nauseous, vomiting, the entire time. The entire time. You don’t get a break to rest. From the pain. This goes on not for 24 hours, but for three weeks. And no- it does not improve over time, it worsens. Yes, this is how benzo withdrawal works. So just when you think it couldn’t possibly get worse. And you were already in hell, the purest hell you’ve ever felt or seen, and you couldn’t imagine it getting worse- IT DOES. And it does this, about 30x.

Withdrawal- I experienced new depths of pyschical and mental hell, agony, and suffering that I’d never seen before. 

Do not trick yourself into thinking you’ll be fine, that you can handle this, that it’s “whatever.” Or that you don’t care what happens to you. This, will hurt, and no one is tough enough to get through it like a cake walk. Your body and mind, hates you and brings you hell, relentlessly, for a very long time, at an extreme level that is genuinely unbearable. To a point you’re thinking, “i hope i die in my sleep.” 

Just so you dont have to wake up to the hell you’re in. Just three weeks doesn’t sound bad, but every day feels like 1 full year. I promise. When you’re in it, three weeks is actually, unimaginable. you’re at day five like, I CAN’T DO THIS. I CAN’T DOT HIS ANYMORE. 

But you have to. Because guess what? You don’t have anymore medicine left, and getting more is pricey, sometimes hard to come by, and your tolerance has escalated to a point that it’s no longer a sustainable habit. Congratulations, you’re fucked. 

Will they let me become god?

No, you’ll likely make a fool of yourself on these. You say things you think out loud and do wild and silly or otherwise strange possibly embarrassing things. Kind of like being drunk, or buzzed. But, worse. It will be apparent you are high or a mess sometimes, and people will scoff at your incoherence and altered state of confusion and irrational line of thought. You’re just making a fool of yourself. You can’t even do simple math properly most likely. And the way you respond to things, socially is just whack. 

IT’s like someone is talking on a forum about, “hey do you like horses?” And you’re high as shit and you post a response like, “i went to the watermelon fair last week and there was a horse there, my grandfather goes to that fair a lot and he wears bow ties, which is funny because my boyfriend wears bow ties and, sometimes i call them boy ties. Not really i just made that up. Boy ties and balloons, rhymes... oh wait, no it doesn’t h aha. What was I saying?”

that’s about, how your line of thinking is on benzos. 

Can they reduce anxiety to deadly levels?

Yes. Also, don’t drive on them. But yeah basically uh, respiratory suppression is a thing that is caused by some drugs, benzos being one of them especially coupled with alcohol. Which often leads to death. The people who think they are the exception are the ones who die. It’s a stupid thing to die over because it’s not even that great. 

It’s just a mild sedative to anxiety yes, calms that down a bit. But it’s not a high worth dying over, it’s more like, being drunk I would say. It’s just, really not worth the hype. 

It’s just a relaxing feeling, the feeling about being relaxed. It feels good to feel like that but, it’s not, anything fucking, life altering or “bow down, you are my GOD.” Worthy. 

Are they GOOD for you? 

No. Liver damage. Brain damage. Toxic accumulation in the body, aka compounding. Takes a long time to completely detox it from your body as well. Molecularly bad for your brains ability to regulate itself over time as well. Your brain forgets how to do the work it used to have to do by itself, because now it expects a drug will do it for it. Leading to, anxiety and depression, when you’re not high, at worse levels than what you started with. 

Are the weak ones as good as the strong ones?

No!!!!!! Ackkkk. Don’t even waste your time or money. Child. Don’t even get me started. I can’t stand a shitty drug. 

Don’t fuck with that.

Do they shrink my pp? 

No but you likely won’t be able to get it up you’ll be too numb and dumb high to care about that sort thing. It’s like, melting into a couch is about all you’re really good for. Useless. 

Blanc said: 

user22212 said: 

What's your experience with them?

had too many lets put it that way... became physically addicted, had to do withdrawals, and it was hell. Not an over exaggeration, if iI could use any words to deter you from doing this to yourself let these just be the words. Don’t, do this to yourself. If you use it, use it once. Not, “intermittently.” Not, “on occasion.” Not, “just on weekends.” This isn’t like smoking pot, this like, smoking crack. That is how addictive these are, not psychologically, but physically your body will become very very ill without them. Even if you only use it once every three days, or a few times a week. Once a day even. After just a few days of doing it in a row, you’re fucked into withdrawals. And it is, impossible to beat suffering. You can’t, just go to work or school or even, enjoy reading, watching tv, scrolling on your phone. You are too sick, to move. To even type, lifting a finger. You are puking, you are shaking, in bed. You are losing your mind. You may experience intense depression and suicidal ideation, constant anxiety, and panic attacks. You’re in pain head to toe, in every fiber of your being, even if you don’t move at all. It never stops, it is not like a shiver here and there, a pain here and there. You are sick, nauseous, vomiting, the entire time. The entire time. You don’t get a break to rest. From the pain. This goes on not for 24 hours, but for three weeks. And no- it does not improve over time, it worsens. Yes, this is how benzo withdrawal works. So just when you think it couldn’t possibly get worse. And you were already in hell, the purest hell you’ve ever felt or seen, and you couldn’t imagine it getting worse- IT DOES. And it does this, about 30x.

 

 

Withdrawal- I experienced new depths of pyschical and mental hell, agony, and suffering that I’d never seen before. 

 

Do not trick yourself into thinking you’ll be fine, that you can handle this, that it’s “whatever.” Or that you don’t care what happens to you. This, will hurt, and no one is tough enough to get through it like a cake walk. Your body and mind, hates you and brings you hell, relentlessly, for a very long time, at an extreme level that is genuinely unbearable. To a point you’re thinking, “i hope i die in my sleep.” 

 

Just so you dont have to wake up to the hell you’re in. Just three weeks doesn’t sound bad, but every day feels like 1 full year. I promise. When you’re in it, three weeks is actually, unimaginable. you’re at day five like, I CAN’T DO THIS. I CAN’T DOT HIS ANYMORE. 

 

But you have to. Because guess what? You don’t have anymore medicine left, and getting more is pricey, sometimes hard to come by, and your tolerance has escalated to a point that it’s no longer a sustainable habit. Congratulations, you’re fucked. 

Will they let me become god?

No, you’ll likely make a fool of yourself on these. You say things you think out loud and do wild and silly or otherwise strange possibly embarrassing things. Kind of like being drunk, or buzzed. But, worse. It will be apparent you are high or a mess sometimes, and people will scoff at your incoherence and altered state of confusion and irrational line of thought. You’re just making a fool of yourself. You can’t even do simple math properly most likely. And the way you respond to things, socially is just whack. 

IT’s like someone is talking on a forum about, “hey do you like horses?” And you’re high as shit and you post a response like, “i went to the watermelon fair last week and there was a horse there, my grandfather goes to that fair a lot and he wears bow ties, which is funny because my boyfriend wears bow ties and, sometimes i call them boy ties. Not really i just made that up. Boy ties and balloons, rhymes... oh wait, no it doesn’t h aha. What was I saying?”

 

that’s about, how your line of thinking is on benzos. 

Can they reduce anxiety to deadly levels?

Yes. Also, don’t drive on them. But yeah basically uh, respiratory suppression is a thing that is caused by some drugs, benzos being one of them especially coupled with alcohol. Which often leads to death. The people who think they are the exception are the ones who die. It’s a stupid thing to die over because it’s not even that great. 

It’s just a mild sedative to anxiety yes, calms that down a bit. But it’s not a high worth dying over, it’s more like, being drunk I would say. It’s just, really not worth the hype. 

It’s just a relaxing feeling, the feeling about being relaxed. It feels good to feel like that but, it’s not, anything fucking, life altering or “bow down, you are my GOD.” Worthy. 

Are they GOOD for you? 

No. Liver damage. Brain damage. Toxic accumulation in the body, aka compounding. Takes a long time to completely detox it from your body as well. Molecularly bad for your brains ability to regulate itself over time as well. Your brain forgets how to do the work it used to have to do by itself, because now it expects a drug will do it for it. Leading to, anxiety and depression, when you’re not high, at worse levels than what you started with. 

Are the weak ones as good as the strong ones?

No!!!!!! Ackkkk. Don’t even waste your time or money. Child. Don’t even get me started. I can’t stand a shitty drug. 

Don’t fuck with that.

 

Do they shrink my pp? 

 

No but you likely won’t be able to get it up you’ll be too numb and dumb high to care about that sort thing. It’s like, melting into a couch is about all you’re really good for. Useless. 

This is a pretty chilling warning. I wouldn't like to experience most things described here 🤔. It's a big tread with care, even if they're to be used non-recreationally. Thanks!