the thoughs that pass my mind are like ok i'll stop using distractions and focus on my life and on healing, but why heal? why get better? why not be as I am however disturbed or unhappy? why not just let it be and live in a constant state of dreaminess and entertainment and superficiality? why work towards goals if I can provide the minimum for myself? why not either blow my brains out or ride the wave? i see no reason for anything, and it sucks. but i don't want to change it. why? can anyone relate?
JimSavage stated: source post
I feel as if I should be doing something, but I don't wanna. It's like I got everything I need and everything is perfect. Life is good =)
I feel you, society created this life standard that if you do not follow exactly you are considered crazy or disturbed. But right now I am good, feeling good, why people bring in their problems and project on me their shit, since I am happy with what I have ? Sometimes I think that's their dream, and they get pissed off because I don't care and get happy with less. That bothers people. Happiness is gold and attracts envy.
Note that your mind is telling you that you need to stop using distractions, improve your life, etc. Then you get into this sort of thought loop where you're basically asking "what's the point?," prefaced by the question "why get better?" The arguments following the question seem like rationalizations for this position you are in. Especially when you are saying things like, "why not be as I am however disturbed or unhappy?"
You could just as well ask, "why not get better?" I can give you two reasons to do something with your life. 1. It's what your subconscious is trying to tell you to do because you are cognizant things are shit, and you want them to be better (but you are likely shutting down these thoughts with defense mechanisms). 2. You will improve the quality of your life, you will grow and learn. Shit, you might even find a sense of fulfillment.
I'm not going to argue about whether someone should be a quasi-nihilist or try to improve their lot in life. I find that a pointless discussion.
Speaking from personal experience, putting off problems that I had by using distractions only made my issues worse. And there are still problems that I work through, but the effort seems worth it, because I feel less fucked. The most difficult part was actually getting myself to actively work on them. After that, there's been a sort of momentum that keeps things going. It's definitely a lot easier to say "fuck it," and not do anything about it. And if that's what you choose, I don't blame you.