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Stalking Success: Final Insight on Stalking


Posts: 3882

Here's your background music to read to

So, i was just thinking/introspecting at work about how fast I was working for really no reason when I tried figuring out the root of my ambition. This brought me back to the very first time I started working like this, when I stopped taking breaks and sleeping for days while working 12 hour shifts. That was also the time I accepted I was done stalking and made a conscious effort to leave her alone. I've never really felt that passion before that point to improve myself. What conclusion I came to is that, the stalking drive didn't die it just shifted. I'm still affected by her, in the fact that im not improving myself for myself. It's all for her and me recklessly chasing self ambitions is my way of making myself better for her because deep down I never thought/think I was. 

You'd think this realization would take the wind out of my sails so to speak, demotivate me, but the fact is it hasn't. Now that I realize what I still want and the idea that im improving myself for the 1 in 10,000 chance I'll end up back with her have instilled a higher level of confidence in me. I know I will try my best every-time when she is on the line, as opposed to just doing it for myself. It's confidence for all the wrong reasons, but took away all the negative benefits of it as well. I no longer feel the anxiety of ambition, there is no rushing feeling, it just feels like a "cold" drive and I'm more driven than ever.

I'd bring her the moon still if she told me today she needed to have it, I don't know where I'll end up in life. This drive just fuels itself from the mix of working my hardest for the lottery chance I do get her/being what I think is good enough for her, a strong need to cause self harm(which i can do through working excessively), and the constant frustration/anger of not having her is in itself a self reliant, emotional engine/cycle that's been overloading me with passion. I imagine this will be the case for quite some years. 

Not that I expect the average sc person to care, but it's the reason I came to the forum was to rant about my stalking issues and this is just keeping up with an old tradition.

Posts: 2658
Stalking Success: Final Insight on Stalking

I see that your entire libido is directed at her, but then it allows you to have a love object for yourself so you can love yourself through her, I'd say this construct isn't so bad, in fact you might be more lucky than other covert narcs who can't do that. You might wanna focus some of that energy on to find out what in your head is an obstacle in loving yourself like some sort of guilt etc and then try to reverse it

Posts: 3882
Stalking Success: Final Insight on Stalking

"I see that your entire libido is directed at her"

Actually it is the opposite. I proxied my mother on her so much that I can't even imagine actually fucking her. The incest taboo actually shifted over to her, I sincerely just want to see her happy and safe as much as humanly possible.

"but then it allows you to have a love object for yourself so you can love yourself through her"

very true

"I'd say this construct isn't so bad, in fact you might be more lucky than other covert narcs who can't do that."

If i actually get her or another female reincarnation of jesus christ as a substitute yeah. Otherwise this is going to kill me. There's no better way to die than be in the process of making myself better(for her)

"You might wanna focus some of that energy on to find out what in your head is an obstacle in loving yourself like some sort of guilt etc and then try to reverse it"

How could I let the one thing that matters the most to me in life fall right out of my hands. Internally I can't forgive that regardless of the circumstance. I will always burn for it.

What is life when one of the things that makes you the most happy is relentlessly punishing yourself for past mistakes. Thanks though fam

Posts: 2658
Stalking Success: Final Insight on Stalking

First, my bad, I should've specified libido stands for life / love drive in freudian psychology, that you redirect all love you could ever muster for everyone only to her and kind of possess this love object and make you feel special, kind of like a rusty robot with a fresh bionic swaggy arm. The self punishment thing plus the guilt in loving oneself thing, wonder if you ever read this http://samvak.tripod.com/narcissistsuperego.html, i know it's a big risk but you might end up more fulfilled afterwards of trying to break thru this, I am not gonna be a faggot and press on it tho, just so you know I got the resources (most psychs are duds in this area) if you wish to choose that path.

Posts: 3882
Stalking Success: Final Insight on Stalking

Probably the most I've related to a linked article.

"On the one hand, the narcissist accepts the authority of his internalized critics and disregards the fact that they hate him and wish him dead. He sacrifices his life to them, hoping that his successes and accomplishments will ameliorate their rage."

"On the other hand, he confronts these very gods with proofs of their fallibility. "You claim that I am worthless and incapable" – he cries – "Well, guess what? You are dead wrong! Look how famous I am, look how rich, how revered, and accomplished!"

"But then much rehearsed self-doubt sets in and the narcissist feels yet again compelled to falsify the claims of his trenchant and indefatigable detractors by conquering another woman, giving one more interview, taking over yet another firm, making an extra million, or getting re-elected one more time."

All of that.

"Ironically, it is only when incapacitated that the narcissist gains a modicum of peace of mind. When terminally ill, incarcerated, or inebriated the narcissist can shift the blame for his failures and predicaments to outside agents and objective forces over which he has no control. "It's not my fault" – he gleefully informs his mental tormentors – "There was nothing I could do about it! Now, go away and leave me be."

This really explains the death wish honestly and perfectly puts out the reason I have such a hard on for the apocalypse. You cannot achieve success in a world that's falling apart. The only thing left for me to do would be to burn myself for things I couldn't do. I don't want the internal critics silenced, continuously having something to prove to them, silencing them and defying them in a fit of rage is the best experience I've had in this life.

This also explains the intoxicating levels of rage/relief I get when incapacitated or injured

Posts: 2658
Stalking Success: Final Insight on Stalking

Glad to help bb xx

Posts: 10218
Stalking Success: Final Insight on Stalking

You think about this stuff a lot. Is there anything specific that might be triggering these rumination loops of yours, or is it constant

Posts: 3882
Stalking Success: Final Insight on Stalking

Constant, it has been since it started

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