when I 1st saw this vid I was like dying laughing 

Bill Cammack

How To Date A Sociopath (Antisocial Personality Disorder)

In general, you don’t EVER want to date a sociopath, but sometimes, a chick is just too FOYINE and you’re gonna have to live with it.

Business is Business! >:D

If you decide to go ahead and hook up with her, there are quite a few issues you’re going to have to deal with, which wikipediahas outlined for us:

• Persistent lying or stealing
• Apparent lack of remorse or empathy for others
• Cruelty to animals
• Poor behavioral controls — expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper
• A history of childhood conduct disorder
• Recurring difficulties with the law
• Promiscuity
• Tendency to violate the boundaries and rights of others
• Aggressive, often violent behavior; prone to getting involved in fights
• Inability to tolerate boredom
• Disregard for right and wrong
• Poor or abusive relationships
• Irresponsible work behavior
• Disregard for safety

As you know.. Desperate Times call for Desperate Measures, so you’re going to have to utilize some special tactics in order to regulate your relationship to your FOYINE sociopath:

Persistent lying or stealing

Set up surveillance cameras in your crib and routinely drop $5 bills on the floor in plain sight of the cameras.

Let her consistently steal the money and lie to you about it.

Ask her again if she stole the money and when she lies to you, play an edited videotape of her in different clothes on different days picking up money off your floor.

Embarrassment Factor should be high enough to make her assume you’re always taping her and curb her stealing from you.

Cruelty to animals

Don’t buy any pets. If you do, hide them when she comes around.

Recurring difficulties with the law

Leave her ass in jail. Don’t bail her out.

Inform the detective privately that she was with you during the time that the crime was committed, but make a deal where she overhears you telling him “WHAT??? NAH!!! She wasn’t with ME at that time! :O”. That way, she doesn’t expect you to act as an alibi for her and is less likely to commit another crime, thinking you have her back.

In fact, you might want to hook it up so she gets arrested for no reason, just so you can perform that skit with the detective and hopefully preempt her criminal behavior.

Tendency to violate the boundaries and rights of others

Lie to her about what your boundaries are. Make them really simple things so she violates often and you get to discipline her on a regular basis.

Mix up your punishments.. Don’t return her texts for a week. Return her texts with meaningless one-liners. Hook up with her then immediately claim you have a doctor’s appointment and bounce. Cancel dates on her at the very last second. Say you’re going to the bathroom while y’all are on a date and stick her with the check.

Make her respect your ‘Jerk Swag’ and she’ll see you as a peer instead of a Herb and start doing the right thing.

Aggressive, often violent behavior; prone to getting involved in fights

Make sure she’s aware that if she runs her mouth and starts the beef, she’s gonna be the one hannlin’ the biznezz by herself.

Deliberately bring her around tough homegirls of yours that you know like to fight. Tell them to take anything she says to them as an affront and scream “WHAT??? WHAT YOU SAID??? :O”.

This should either get her used to watching what she says or get her tired of getting her ass beat. Either way, you win. 😀

Poor or abusive relationships

This is a tough one. Since she’s such a JERK, she’s probably had guys use and abuse her for years already. Your job is to let her know that you like, care about and love her without letting her walk all over you because she’s used to being treated poorly.

Do stuff for her because you feel like it and not in order to get something in return. Let her know you did it because you feel like she deserves it. When she does the right thing, make sure she knows that you noticed and appreciated it.

Just in case you need to do “Good Cop, Bad Cop” on her, keep the tough girls on deck to whip up on that AZZ!!! >:D

Apparent lack of remorse or empathy for others

This isn’t really a problem. You don’t care whether she feels badly about what she did. You just want her to NOT do the wrong thing.

Keep your eyes on the prize. You’re just making it so you can tolerate the downtime between tappin’ that. This isn’t “My Fair Lady”. Nobody cares where The Rain In Spain falls. 😀

Promiscuity

Tell her something like “Yeah!.. Enjoy the club tonight!… I hope like TEN DUDES tap that, you’re so damned easy! :/”.

Her desire to be a JERK and do everything opposite to what you tell her should compel her to keep her legs closed in order to spite you and prove you wrong that she’s not actually a ho.

If this backfires, and she DOES end up hooking up with several guys that evening, make sure she gets paid for it and brings you the money.

1:30 - "We like to go to a bar together and see which one of us can destroy a stranger first." "It's great foreplay." 

Sold. Where do I sign up? 

K, pls can we make this an actual thing? I'm looking for my new ex husband but failed the personality test for eharmony and can't be bothered to reply to messages on the site that let me join. 

For real Luna pls get working on this. 

LOL. how did you fail the personality test?

I didn't realise it was a pass or fail option, thought it was just to find someone you're compatible with so I was just honest. Then got a very polite note at the end saying they were unable to help me but wished me well in my search. I know someone this happened to as well though and he's been married several times, so all is not lost. 

were there any answers you gave you think may have contributed to them not being able to help you?