Sociopath Community

"wouldn't say it has to come to a standoff. In my mind, the rules I specified in my last post mostly govern how to appear confident in statements you are sure of,"

"or want people to think you are sure of."

It's the second quotation here I had issue with, which was what my post was about. You are treating truth like conviction. And that's not bad, because what people call truths are convictions. It's when you want others to believe what you do while stonewalling, that I see a problem. You narrow your own perspective.

"Whether or not you actually are isn't as important I think."

I agree. It should be about the concept itself, not who portrays it.

"I'm not the best at reading others, but much of the time I see people doing their utmost to defend statements they made or they say they believe in. Even if their actual faith in the statement seems shaken."

Cognitive dissonance is a real thing.

"I know I often feel silly if I go back on a statement I previously made. the more clearly and loudly I made the statement, the sillier I feel."

It's a positive thing to be able to be amenable to changes in how you think.

"That was part of the reasoning behind the first 'variable' in my earlier post. Strange as it may sound to some to some, I don't like feeling silly while sober, I expect many feel the same. Don't get me wrong, there are ways to publicly change one's mind. One great way PR strategy that can work for me (and for many politicians as well I'm sure) when I change my mind on something I just said is to wait a while before publicly voicing my opinion. That way I'm still honest enough, while the flip-flop is less blaring (and therefore I feel less silly)."

From personal experience, this is not uncommon behavior. It is understandable, as saying something many disagree with can put you at odds with them. As I said in another thread, I only do that when I need to. Anything beyond that seems to me like being overly self-conscious.

"It's when you want others to believe what you do while stonewalling, that I see a problem. You narrow your own perspective."

This is true, so I suppose it's when someone wants someone else to believe what they do more than they don't want to narrow their own perspective that they stonewall. I'd say this works(works meaning gets the other guy to believe what you do) +-1/4th of the time, +- depending on what your dialogue is about. Maybe it's like a paradox, a guy's narrow perspective makes them not want to widen their perspective.

"From personal experience, this is not uncommon behavior. It is understandable, as saying something many disagree with can put you at odds with them. As I said in another thread, I only do that when I need to. Anything beyond that seems to me like being overly self-conscious."

Welp, I dunno what to say to that, other than saying that lots of people are overly self-conscious, and I'll be the first to admit that at times I'm no exception. Maybe widening our perspective could put a stop to that as well.

I do not know when i contradict myself and i actually can't remember when someone has shown me where i contradict myself. So if i ever do, i do not know about it.

I follow my own advises to me. An advice to someone else may or may not apply to me, they are independent and per person, you should always consider this. Of course many people only give advises from their own point of view and do not consider anything else, so often they do at least think they follow any advice they give.

I do not know how often i call someone out for something i am guilty for. I see these two as separate entities and never make a connection, as it would be irrelevant. In other words: what i am guilty of is not (necessarily) connected to what they are guilty of, even if its the same thing.

"This is true, so I suppose it's when someone wants someone else to believe what they do more than they don't want to narrow their own perspective that they stonewall. I'd say this works(works meaning gets the other guy to believe what you do) +-1/4th of the time, +- depending on what your dialogue is about. Maybe it's like a paradox, a guy's narrow perspective makes them not want to widen their perspective."

What I mean is more simple than a paradox. If you go into arguments (much different from discussions)...tempers flare up, people become more resolute in their position. And in that, people may lose perspective. What I referenced specifically was your described negative feelings about changing your position, because of how invested you can be in an argument. I was just trying to get that across, how that can hold you back.

"Welp, I dunno what to say to that, other than saying that lots of people are overly self-conscious, and I'll be the first to admit that at times I'm no exception. Maybe widening our perspective could put a stop to that as well."

People aware of it can make a decision to work on it, if they see it as a hindrance. Expecting all people you have a dispute with to be level-headed would be ludicrous, kind of like expecting all persons will accept calmly counterpoints like Vulcans. I can't even mention Trump around my grandmother, because of how annoyed she gets just thinking of him.

I try not to be hypocritical. Im not usually self contradicting unless I misrepresented what I meant or I was confused used about the subject.  I sometimes change my mind. 

I think overall I'm pretty consistent unless I'm developing as a person. I try not to be hypocritical.  

I argue with myself constantly and it's exhausting so most of the time I don't give a shit

Fuck yes I contradict myself all the time.

I wouldn't be human if I didn't.

I'm so flighty and changeable i probably do it a lot. I notice it sometimes. Who i am can be variable depending on my mood state, mood cycle, how depersonalised i am, whether i've spent too much time in contact with people when i don't want to be or sometimes vice versa. A diminished sense of self can really fuck with consistency.

All sorts of shit can affect how consistent my personality can be.

I certainly try to be of my word if it's not a result of me sperging and try not to point fingers when i know i can do it.

Yes, i relate to this.

Thank you for finally recognizing your own contradiction.

And yeah, my self esteem is still fine.

So glad I'm blind and deaf to certain patterns of criticism (Hint: the one you just used is standard among condescending fucks tyrina save face when somebody like me questions their authority.)

You're welcome :D