tl;dr: wife has black friend who's been abused in childhood and became a part of family now acting suspicious with my wife (cuddling / subtle jokes / play fighting / hugging from behind) and possibly having molested and beaten her son. conflicted about whether putting him in jail or offering him psychotherapy and try family counseling to have everyone get along better and solve their issues because he had an awful rough life.
Hello everyone, I've been sharing this with a childhood friend and he pointed me to here so I made an account and hopefully I'll get some advice from you great lads. I've been together with my beautiful wife Cirasela (she's a Romanian immigrant) and her son Tibiu (lovely kid, very clever and obedient, talks highly of his dad even though he has abandoned him with mother) for 3 years and only for the last 6 months we're having issues.
We had this guy trayshawn at her work (she packs boxes at an amazon warehouse) and he sort of grew to be one of the family, a sort of a deep friend, and at the beginning he was very mild and almost too soft, he told us stories of his childhood sexual and physical abuse and we felt awful for him, it devolved into him and my wife making subtle flirty jokes and cuddling on the sofa (no kissing or touching to, maybe a leg on top of the other or back rubbing and intense eye contact) but I am sure this is just play and affection since I am not generally insecure and close minded and I know my wife just loves the attention and sees him like a brother and would never cheat on me. I still have a little suspicion but whatever.
What bothers me is how he's been treating the son Tibiu, one night while trayshawn and my wife were play fighting on the floor (nothing suspicious, they seem like siblings more now) her son Tibiu came downstairs and asked for a glass of water and trayshawn gave him a nasty look and yelled at him to "take your water and fuck off back to sleep!" and her son yelled at him "you're not my real dad!" so trayshawn ran up to him and grabbed him by the arms, shook him and told him if he wants some discipline, tibiu started crying and yelled "i'll tell anyone what you did to me!" and trayshawn said "you'll pay for it' tibiu pushed him away and ran to bed yelling DONT COME TO MY ROOM EVER AGAIN OR I'LL CALL THE POLICE and crying.
At this point I am wondering what the hell is going on in this house so I stood up and made a handsign to trayshawn like "whats up?" he sat on the sofa and started sobbing admitting that he touched tibiu's private parts and how he tried to keep himself but that his father did it too and how because he was molested he couldn't help himself do the same. I was enraged but my rage started to turn into pity and sadness as he told us how his father strangled him with a belt for him telling that he'll tell others so I brought him a glass of water and comforted him and everyone went to sleep after they put a pizza in the microwave and we all ate.
My wife's been talking about calling the cops but I've been thinking about what a sad childhood trayshawn had and I don't want to be one of those to kick him after he was kicked by so many people in his own life. Also seeing how privileged I am for being white and having a good job and having grown up in a rich relatively stable family I've felt even worse about wanting to do this to him. My plan was to offer free psychotherapy for trayshawn and come together to discuss with tibiu and everyone about what to do to keep this family together and keep everyone out of trouble and get along better (and tibiu to be more respectful to trayshawn).
What should I do? call the cops or smooth this out? I am conflicted. Thanks everyone!