Sometimes I grow a long beard, stand at randomly selected milestones in the countryside wearing a tweed flat cap with a pipe between my teeth, and I say to the strangers that pass by 'Ere looks like rain today...' in a strong valleys accent. Does that qualify?
I went to take this drug test today for this job I got hired into. I'm sitting there in the bathroom and I notice all the precautions taken, water faucet taped off, the cupboards too, a sign above the toilet that has "DONT FLUSH" in bold font on it. I filled the cup up just enough so it crossed the mandatory line even though I could've filled the thing. Then I don't know what happened but my piss went in a skew trajectory mid stream and some got on the floor. I felt bad for the woman already having to hold my piss I didn't want her to have to get down and clean it up. So I started using my boot to sort of smear it around, to hide it. Because there was no toilet paper and I was trying to be considerate.
While on the other side of the door she's listening(she's supposed to) hears my stream stop, then shuffling sounds and im in the bathroom for a longer period of time than usual. In my efforts to not embarrass myself, I had let 2 minutes pass after my initial piss. My thought process and piss shuffling was interrupted by "you can come out now". The look on her face gave me some judging vibes, like she was sure I failed.
Meh. As I've mentioned before, I scan probabilities all the time, instinctively. Very little surprises me any more. The only way to enjoy life with this is to engage in denial and open one's self to continual disappointment. "You don't have to agree with me. I can't force you to be right."