Sociopath Community

Nah, I find it really hard to dislike me. There is nothing to hate on me.

Real life?  No.  Forum?  Only one that I can think of, but that's because they have literally said so.  It genuinely perplexes me if anyone hates me.  I can understand dislike, perhaps, but the intensity or context is too wildly variable that it really has no business being an issue.

haart stated: source post

Gearing this question more towards people in your real life (co-worker, boss, friend, ex, aquaintance, family etc), but I suppose members of this forum count also.

As dispassionately as possible, why do you think they dislike/hate you? How were you made aware? Do you think their feelings towards you are justified? Do you feel the same towards them?

Can you put yourself in their shoes? How would you feel if roles were reversed?

(P.S. We can avoid exploring the semantics of dislike and hatred in this thread. There's already one better suited to that task).

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The same thing that's happened on the forum here has happened to me irl a few times.

I rather enjoy being able to deconstruct the dynamic from a distance without rl consequences, tbh.

The best I can figure is that it usually starts with an invitation to join somebody's clique (in this case it was a skype group.)

I'm really not interested, but I make up an excuse that has smthg to do with money to avoid being rude (eg: PC problems that I can't afford to fix.)

After the second time this happened irl back about the late 90s, I got smart and stopped accepting the charity when people offered to pay to 'fix' the problem at the heart of my excuse. Instead, I kept my no at a firm no.

The last 2 times this happened, somebody did seem desperate and pushy enough to have me in their group that I figured the money was a gift and not a toll. So I accepted, against my better judgement. People who think they have to pay to be my friend (especially after I go to great lengths to push them away with stories of my stretch marks and ugly ass) really weird me out tbh.

So I go into the clique suspicious af and fully expecting a Pig Party.

And that's what eventually ends up happening.

The worst is when there's a sexual element. Some idiot always ends up making up disgusting rumours about the things they claim to believe I'm fucking.

 I usually return the hate, tho. Can't let those assholes have the last word, ya know...

"As dispassionately as possible, why do you think they dislike/hate you? How were you made aware? Do you think their feelings towards you are justified? Do you feel the same towards them?"

The times this happened irl, I didn't even know wth I did. I just called it bad luck and a crazy stalker freak.

Now I see, after years of deconstructing bullshit and stereotypes and troll rhetoric that there is a pattern.

People are freaked out by sexlessness and introversion, unless there is smthg hideous about the woman who says she doesn't want the sexual/social contact.

And even then, people try to fix her up with their gross old uncle Bob or w/e.

They get angry and act like she betrayed them if she refuses.

That's where the hate usually starts. Sexual and social rejection.

And feminism. People love to hate on feminists.

The progression from there is to a whisper campaign with a bunch of barely audible snide comments, and then on to poop flinging.

By the time people work up the nerve to say rude shit to my face, there's usually some sort of 'revenge' scheme in place that I have to guess at and dance around.

It hasn't happened at work so far, thank Hermes and Hestia. My neighbours are getting a little weird, tho.

One of these days I might just get a bf. Just for a social experiment, to see if people treat me better this time, or if the last time was my imagination. lol

I get so tired of moving every 3 years.

2 years is the magic number, btw. For some reason, mean girl and old lady cliques alike don't think women should be single for more than 2 years.

Edit: I do know how to invent a bf if push comes to shove. I prefer not to do that, tho. There's smthg so desperate about bitches who pretend to have boyfriends lol

Many people around me dislike me, that's what I gather. In general, people who possess higher social understanding tend to dislike me. The people around me try their best to be kind to me, but they are uncomfortable around me because I can't read people for shit. I don't know if people hate me, and unless they say it to my face I never will know, because as I mentioned, I can't read people for shit. I don't know how to make conversation with another person in real time, so I feel more natural just saying nothing, which makes people uncomfortable. I cannot perform service jobs, I lost my first job within a month because I threw up often because I don't like being around people. I like written correspondence though. I find people who I know through web deving groups don't dislike me as much. I find people who I take Coursera courses with like me, I am a big participator in their forum discussions for my subject. People who I take courses with at a physical school don't hate me that much either, I don't do much to upset people as long as I don't speak.  I'm hoping college is the same, when I attend this fall, although I still think many people will dislike me.  And truth be told, that's fine. I have found a field where I can work remotely, without constant contact with other humans my life has improved, and for this I am glad.

I used to, but it's likely been written off as old news by now. 

The number of people who've legitimately hated me at some point in real life's probably around... four people? 

Edit: 

Frienemy: For one reason or another, he kept finding reasons to hate me that even he couldn't really pin down the reason for. He'd get over it, but soon enough when other things in his life went wrong he'd resume transferring his angst at me. He'd try to steal every girl I was with or even simply had a crush on, he'd spread bad rumors and words about me "behind my back" (they'd always copy paste the logs for me to read so that we could share a good laugh), I had to help hide people briefly when he went through his awkward stalker period, he'd get weird about me related to transference issues with his father and jealousy of my close relationship with mine, alongside a fear of him after he lost a debate with him about Guitars, and even admitted to wanting to kill me and him in a drunken conversation with friends one weekend I went home. He'd even hate my closer friends simply for associating with me, and loved to say I had a "Nega-soul", a soul that consumes other souls for it's own sustenance, amusement, and conversion. He's tried more than once to, as he'd likely see it, usurp my position among my friends by recreating scenarios we'd normally have with me written out of the picture, but they never worked out as he wanted them to. He'd be even more hurt when I'd insist that he not leave the group over it while he's fuming and flustered. This guy went to the same middle school, high school, and college as I did, always following where I'd go to try to insert himself into those scenarios. He did not enjoy the appearances of my aloofness, as that directly contradicted his overly active adrenaline glands, and he did not like how I seemed to keep doing better than he did despite how almost all of his failures were directly his fault. Fun times, that guy, I miss how fun it was to watch him sabotage himself, have people rally to me, and then have him blame me for it all the same. He always acted like he was some sort of self righteous crusader, combating my influence to right some sort of wrong, when in all actuality all I was doing was laughing at his efforts alongside other spectators. 

Bipolar on Speed: Around the time I joined a new school in the 8th grade, he was the first one to come up to me. He invited me over, we played video games, it started off fairly simple. The guy was taller and stronger than I was in a natural sense, but he had a really bad case of Bipolar disorder. His life at home was sad, so he'd always look sad in front of his parents, and during times he was manic he'd leave there to find more fun things to do. Of course this had his parents set into motion the misdiagnosis as depression, and from then on he was prescribed many different brands of speed. He was already a bit wacky before, but this set him off the deep end. His highs were higher and his lows were lower, living a suicidal life either from knowing no limits or from wanting to die, I was one of the few people willing to remain around him despite him having given me over thirty different insulting nicknames, waved scissors and lighters in front of me extremely closely, made constant physical threats, and his otherwise emotionally abusive behavior he'd exhibit whenever he wasn't committed to a psych ward for his erratic behaviors. Multiple times I had to stop him from killing himself as one of the few friends he had left, and what does he do? After a while of it, when on a newer set of meds at a surprisingly high dosage, assumes I'm responsible for others not liking him, going as far as admitting that he planned on killing me to both his parents and his therapist. The therapist called my parents, my family and I worked to get him expelled, and the problem seemed to be gone with him in a padded cage where he belonged. A few years later they claimed he was "all better", arranged a meeting with the families to discuss how things would go, my family and I threw a huge uproar about how insane that is, and soon enough he was back in. Years later he went the monk route, eventually going around begging people for forgiveness for his past behaviors... but I refused. I wanted nothing to do with him anymore after all that'd happened, and the need for my forgiveness felt hollow instead of genuine. 

Obnoxious Roommate: She was... awful. Self-entitled, left huge messes of things like raw chicken bones, expected everyone to have the same interests as her, and couldn't stand to be crossed even the slightest. She constantly ranted about how much she hated everyone. She was dating one of my best friends at the time, which made way for her to become our roommate, and that just did not work out well. She did not like when I'd monopolize his time (ignoring that it was usually his idea), she did not like my outlook on anything, she hated the sound of my voice, the look of my hair, she hated talking to me about anything. If I said I liked something she also liked, she'd begin to slowly hate it. I'd spend the time and effort alongside my friend for his benefit to try to have us all become hunky doory, but soon enough she'd find a new reason to not be cool with me. To be fair, she hated everyone, especially those who she lived with (even her own boyfriend more than often enough), and had some powerful rage issues, but I was a bit more of a lightning rod for it since I'd express the times that he was right instead of her when he and I'd talk about things (ignoring that I'd also talk about the times she was right) granting him more confidence so that he'd not just begrudgingly fall in line, since I was often around (even if I was in my room two floors away it was too much for her), and from how she saw my cleaning up after her as me being silently passive aggressive (CHICKEN BONES, MOLDING ON THE TABLE, HOLY CRAP). She'd try to find ways to have me wash her dishes and take out her trash, but with how much of a mess she was and with how self-contained my own trash was I refused (wasn't the only one to do this, just the only one called out on it). After enough time she'd become irritated to even be breathing the same air as me. We were stuck with a shared lease on the apartment, and she always insisted on being the one to bring our rent payments to the main office. Little did we know this was because she couldn't pay her share and refused to let us know about it, hiding it through this gesture while keeping all the mail that'd tell us how much rent wasn't paid hidden. As a result, she ended up damaging all of our credit alongside whoever was co-signed with each of us, refusing to pay it from already having horrible credit herself. I had to dress her down really hard to get her to pay what she owed, and even then... she only paid for my portion after agreeing that, after this, we'll never need to speak to one another ever again. Shortly after that, she broke up with the friend in question and they went their own separate ways. 

Rapist: She was not happy about the aftermath. 

maybe someday i will give a real answer

lol

I love it when people have no clue how much others dislike them.

Can't imagine I have or I just didn't have the awareness to notice