I can't understand the pain of letting go of something good that I've had for a long time.
me neither. it can't be that bad. if i ever break up, i'll be back to square one. which is where i am right now
- ImNotHer stated: source post
- When I think about SC people, I think of a bunch of detached weirdos, broken angry people, and selfish absorbed pricks who are incapable of real closeness.
Does it have anything to do with the name of this site?
ImNotHer stated: source post
Is there anyone here who has?
Yup, we were 13 when my friend moved away (200-ish miles, to the capital. I was crying every night for weeks. Only decades later i she told me that on the final move she stopped the car 20-odd mile off for wanting a pee, then once out she ran off into the woods with the full intention of walking all the way back ‘home’. Took the parents nearly an hour to chase her down & pack back into the car.
(The reason why they moved was that she was adopted as a newborn and the birth-mother started turning up out of nowhere with blackmails, so eventually even the other kids caught wind of the adoption rumours. The parents thought it’s the lesser bad to pack up and vanish, till she’s old enough to handle it. I guess they were right but it sucked nevertheless. Both of our childhood disappeared somehow with that move. We spent most school-holidays together for a few years afterwards the grew apart by secondary school.)
- ImNotHer stated: source post
- I envy anyone who knows what it feels like to experience that kind of loss.
There’s nothing enviable about it if you ask me.
I like watching movies where they show all the phases two people go through when letting go of an intense relationship. It doesn't have to be a romantic relationship. It can be about childhood friends who are going down different paths in adulthood.
In fact, I'm the most fascinated by the relationships that start in childhood and go through painful separation. I have trouble imagining anyone here has gone through that kind of break up. When I think about SC people, I think of a bunch of detached weirdos, broken angry people, and selfish absorbed pricks who are incapable of real closeness. But that's probably projection because all of those things represent me at some stage in my life. I can't understand the pain of letting go of something good that I've had for a long time. I can only understand the pain of having to let go of an obsession. I wonder if they feel the same. I envy anyone who knows what it feels like to experience that kind of loss. Is there anyone here who has?
ImNotHer stated: source post
What was the birth mother trying to blackmail with?
With letting T. know that she's adopted. Initially the parents caved in but she was getting greedy. (I heard the full story much later, when we caught up.)
Of course T. figured it all out by the time she was 15 but kept it secret from the parents until they came out on their own accord. If anything, that mutual secrecy bonded them even closer so it was a big laughing meltdown when the parents "came out" after much consternation.
For me i have a strong fear of losing someone. Not everyone, i honestly don't care about friends and stuff like that. But when it comes to a lover this is where i break.
I think the cause of that is the reason why i want or need a lover. And this reason lies within stability. I try to run from my nature and having a lover makes me concentrate on her, which makes me forget what i am. And once i lose her, i feel like all the effort i put into her is lost. This means that i would need to start again.
But i guess i am the only one here who thinks like that.
ImNotHer stated: source post
I like watching movies where they show all the phases two people go through when letting go of an intense relationship. It doesn't have to be a romantic relationship. It can be about childhood friends who are going down different paths in adulthood.
In fact, I'm the most fascinated by the relationships that start in childhood and go through painful separation. I have trouble imagining anyone here has gone through that kind of break up. When I think about SC people, I think of a bunch of detached weirdos, broken angry people, and selfish absorbed pricks who are incapable of real closeness. But that's probably projection because all of those things represent me at some stage in my life. I can't understand the pain of letting go of something good that I've had for a long time. I can only understand the pain of having to let go of an obsession. I wonder if they feel the same. I envy anyone who knows what it feels like to experience that kind of loss. Is there anyone here who has?
I've experienced some loss, but it has never been 100% permanent yet. That always makes me feel better. I do not feel like elaborating, unless you ask questions thought.
Slim John stated: source post
God i love some parts about this site, rofl.
N0thing stated: source post
For me i have a strong fear of losing someone. Not everyone, i honestly don't care about friends and stuff like that. But when it comes to a lover this is where i break.
I think the cause of that is the reason why i want or need a lover. And this reason lies within stability. I try to run from my nature and having a lover makes me concentrate on her, which makes me forget what i am. And once i lose her, i feel like all the effort i put into her is lost. This means that i would need to start again.
But i guess i am the only one here who thinks like that.
I know the fear somewhat. Its not connected to lovers, only to friends. And i have it, because i like my friends.
"When I think about SC people, I think of a bunch of detached weirdos, broken angry people, and selfish absorbed pricks who are incapable of real closeness. But that's probably projection because all of those things represent me at some stage in my life."
This I can relate to.
"I can't understand the pain of letting go of something good that I've had for a long time. I can only understand the pain of having to let go of an obsession. I wonder if they feel the same. I envy anyone who knows what it feels like to experience that kind of loss."
I imagine they feel similar. Albeit obsession is probably easier than the genuine loss of something good. Wrong thing to envy, imo.
Somewhere around the dawn of kindergarten new neighbors moved in next door and there was this girl. I can't quite recall how exactly we were introduced, I suspect her mother payed a visit and found another child. Either way, we became friendly and started coming to each other's places, playing with toys, watching animated moving pictures and so on. At some point I went to my grandparent's for two weeks. When I came back my mother handed me this candy turtle my grandpa packed and sent me to the girl. I rang the bell only to find different new neighbors staring at me. Well, the turtle was delicious.
Fast forward a few years I was at the staircase in school, rushing to a class after a visit to the principal. This girl stopped me, looked at me and cheered "Hey Mee! We we're playing Legos and stuff when we were little, remember? ^_^ ". I recalled doing that but she still looked unfamiliar. Being a bit irked due to being held up while being in a rush and feeling somewhat uncomfortable by being remembered in such a great detail (name and all), I said that I remembered her but was in a rush and hurried up the stairs. And that was the last I ever heard from her.
Was I upset when she disappeared the first time? No. She was a new, even though quite pleasant, addition to my life, but weren't there long enough for me to grow attached, I suppose. I simply wrote this interaction off and moved on.
Seeing her again I wasn't even interested. She existed in a different episode of my life and served a purpose of doing the previously mentioned things. I had no urge to get to know her again.
This must be the only loss of interaction which happened without my approval. I had to dig deep to find it, though, so if anything else comes up, I'll add.
Hmm, this actually made me wonder how things were going from her's perspective.